I want to be “Superman.” No, I’m not talking about wanting to become a superhero who can leap tall buildings in a single bound. I’m just deciding what nickname I might choose if I decide to become a member of the pickup community.

All of you who are familiar with what I teach know I am joking. In all seriousness, though, one of the things I dislike most about the pickup community is the fact that a lot of the guys who sell products teaching these methods are nothing more than marketers. They’re like The Wizard Of Oz - weak men who hide behind a curtain of empty words that don’t mean anything because they’ve never lived the life they teach.

They’ve never coached the life they teach. So if you are going to buy someone’s products, you need to go to someone who has actually coached real people and who has actually dealt with the issues that his methods claim to solve.

Not only that, the nickname component of the pickup methods has always bothered me. It’s just really so juvenile. A grown man wants to be called “Superman?!” It’s literally like Clark Kent who is Superman.

So you have John Smith calling himself “Phantom Dater 2175.” I guess it’s not good enough for him just to be John Smith. John Smith needs to be somebody important, so he must create a superhero out of John Smith by using a nickname.

You have got to stand behind your name. You have got to stand behind who you are as a person.

A lot of these guys in the seduction (pickup) community don’t stand behind their real names. They don’t stand behind them because they don’t want women to know what they do, because what they are basically doing is teaching men to do things of which they are not proud.

They are teaching men to be seducers. They are teaching men to be players. They are teaching men to be assholes. I feel that any guy who uses a nickname might as well just call himself Ironman, Batman or any other superhero character he wanted to be as a child.

I mean, when I was a little boy I wanted to be Joe Namath. I wanted to become him because I wanted to become that powerful man. Now, as an adult, I just want to be the most powerful version of ME.

I don’t ever want to be called a nickname, except maybe “Honey,” “Baby” . . . and “Oh My God!” during sex. Any other name is not worth the time or the effort.

Conversation is an art. Conversation is a skill. Conversation is something we all need to learn if we are going to be able to relate deeper with each other in general, and especially in our connections with the members of the opposite sex.

To master the art of conversation, and particularly conversation with members of the opposite sex, there are a couple things you need to learn. I’ve talked a little about this in past blogs.

Women are really good storytellers. When they tell a story, they put tons of life into the story and are full of passion in how they deliver the story. When men tell stories, they just give the facts.

No matter how you tell a story, though, the real question is how to get the other person to open up to you on a deeper level. How do you encourage someone to feel safe opening up to you and to share their stories and their passions with you?

The topic of the story you tell doesn’t matter. It could be about the phenomenal time you had on your trip to Italy, or about your love of cars, or your love of flowers.

What you talk about in a story is not the important factor in whether you can get the person to whom you’re telling that story to open up to you. What is important is that when you are diving deep into the story you are telling someone, that you engage that person so that they want to really dive deep into a story of their own.

So after you tell someone something so passion-filled, you need to then look that person right in the eyes and invite them to reciprocate and share something equally passionate with you. So if you tell someone about your phenomenal trip to Italy, for example, what you would do when you’re finished is to look the person directly in the eyes and say “Tell me about your favorite place to go.”

Be sure to say whatever it is with enthusiasm, energy and confidence . . . but also say it with a child-like curiosity. It is that curiosity that will really intrigue the other person.

The reason that so many dates fail is because men and women sit there telling each other stories, but they don’t ever go deeper. So what happens is one person will tell a story, and then neither asks the other what they think or how they feel about the situation or topic of the story.

Knowing how to go deeper in your conversations with the opposite sex is the only way to move a relationship forward and take it to the next level. So next time you’re having a conversation with someone you interested in, engage them to see if this is a person with whom you really want to get deep.

Have you ever met somebody, and every time you are with them you feel like the two of you are the lead characters in a movie (while every other person around you is just an extra)? I am experiencing this right now.

I was actually just walking around today with the most amazing woman, and we both felt like we were in our own little movie. It was really interesting, and I want to share something with all of you that I think is the true definition of love.

The other day, this woman and I were walking on the promenade in Santa Monica completely off in our own world together. We were walking my dog Daphne, holding hands and talking to each other. We walked around checking out store fronts, just enjoying the day and being together.

Then we ran into Craig, a friend of mine who actually works with me on weekends, and who seemed to almost come out of left field. Having him approach us kind of broke us out of our zone, and it almost took a minute for it to register that someone was talking to us. Once it did, however, we talked to Craig for about five minutes and were totally present during that conversation.

After we left Craig, we talked about him for about 30 seconds (mostly me filling her in on who he is and how I know him) and then we went right back into our own little movie. It was almost like Craig was a minor character who popped in and out of one scene in our movie, and he never crossed our minds again once his mini-appearance in that scene ended.

It’s not a knock on other people. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to other people. It’s just that when I’m with her, I feel like she and I have created our own movie in which every other person is just an extra. It’s truly an amazing feeling.

That night she and I went out to dinner. The people at the table next to us started talking to us. We were friendly, and engaged in a short conversation with them. The minute we finished that conversation, though, we went immediately back into our own world and our little movie. We were so engrossed in our world, in fact, that it took the waiter two or three approaches to our table before he got our attention.

It’s a beautiful thing to be able to get lost in your own little world with somebody. It’s what we are all striving to create. We are all striving to create a world with someone where both of you can get lost together.

It is a world where you share an incredible connection and love with someone. You are so connected that this person you love can tell you a story, and you can actually see the place they’re describing even though you’ve never been there. You see what they saw. You can understand exactly what they were thinking. You can feel their emotions.

You’re just so connected to that person and to their soul, that you are able to really feel everything they feel even if you haven’t experienced each thing for yourself. That is what this is all about and why we spend so much time working on ourselves. We want to get to the point in our life where we create our own movie with someone in which we are the lead character and every other person is just an extra in the background.

I’m going to do something for all of you politically correct and politically incorrect people: I’m going to wish you all a Merry Christmas! To everyone who celebrates Christmas, I want to wish you and your families the best of Christmases.

Hope you are having a white Christmas if you are in a winter state or in Miami (Oops, that was the 80’s). Hopefully Santa has given all of you what you wanted this year for Christmas. For those of you who don’t believe in Santa, you might have missed out on some extra presents.

Today is a day to reflect, and to be with friends and family. It’s a day to drink eggnog and to get drunk with your uncle for some of you. No matter how you celebrate it, though, it’s a day to be with and embrace your family.

So there will be no dating advice today. There will be no relationship advice today.

As for tomorrow, isn’t that “Black Friday?” No, wait, that’s the day after Thanksgiving. You can go to the mall tomorrow, though, and return all the bad gifts your grandmother gave you. Everything is 50%, so you can get some great things … but does that mean if we wait another day or two everything will be 100% off?

Today I’m on the beach in Mexico celebrating an amazing Christmas with my girlfriend, the person who is closest to me. We are going to spend the day sitting on the beach drinking margaritas, and Santa is going to deliver us a couple of yummy burritos.

So no matter what you’re doing today, I want to wish you the very best Christmas.

Happy Christmas Eve to all …. and a happy Wednesday to those of you who are not celebrating Christmas. This message today (although inspired by a classic Christmas movie) applies to everyone!

Do you remember these poignant words which the angel Clarence said to Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life?: “Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he? . . . Dear George, remember no man is a failure who has friends . . . See George, you really had a wonderful life. Don’t you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it all away?”

I know know how stressful the holiday season can be. I will get stressed out too if I have to watch one more Zales diamond jewelry commercial. Then again, if it is followed up by the Budweiser horses then it’s okay.

It’s almost the end of December 2008. Have you thought about how wonderful your life really is, or are you too busy thinking about what you don’t have?

If you’re a man, maybe you are wishing you were better with women. If you’re a woman, you are perhaps wishing that more men would approach you. You might be thinking about how much chemistry you thought you had with the last person you dated, yet they didn’t call you back.

The problem that I find coaching so many people that are single, is that they are always thinking about what they don’t have. When I coach someone, I find that they seem to only focus on all the things that they are NOT, instead of embracing all the things that they are.

It’s amazing how many people come to me who really want to learn how to approach women (or men), but they don’t want to put in the work necessary to learn how to do it. They don’t practice every single day, and they don’t embrace the small victories that happen every day.

What so many people do is they try something once, and if it doesn’t work then they quit. Last season, Peyton Manning threw six interceptions against the Chargers. He didn’t quit. He was down 21–0 and he kept coming back.

How is it he can throw six interceptions and keep going, but the average single person who learns a new approach will give it only one chance to work? They will try it once, and if it doesn’t work they’ll quit and re-embrace their fears all over again.

During this holiday season and in the new year, give yourself permission to try new things and new approaches. If you are only able to talk to someone for 30 seconds, then the very next day try to talk to someone for 35 seconds. Learn to embrace the small victories.

It seems though that when people are single, they always want to know ahead of time if they are going to succeed. They don’t believe or understand that learning to approach and connect with the opposite sex is a process that will have successes and failures along the way.

Recently a student of mine said to me “David, I don’t want to approach a woman unless I know 100% for sure that it’s going to work.” So I used the football analogy on him, and I asked him “Is there anything in life that’s 100%?” The only things that are 100% in life are, as they say, death and taxes.

So during this holiday season, give yourself some goals for the new year. You just can’t win the Super Bowl the first time you ever play the game.

So take a look at your life and where you are, and start embracing little gains. In order to become a master communicator, you need to put the time and effort in to make it happen. It’s not just going to happen overnight.

Every day allow yourself some practice time. Go out and flirt with two people today, and then maybe with three tomorrow. Instead of getting frustrated with yourself, start accepting the small gains.

In order for somebody to share your wonderful life with you, you need to first realize that your life is wonderful.

Today’s video will show you how you can comfortably and easily create an opener. It will help you as you go out there to do this daily practice and to get those daily wins.

Do you always have fun days? Is every day you spend fun?

When you’re hanging out with friends on a Sunday, do you have a good time?

Do you go to places you enjoy? Or do you go to places you hate, just because you think you might meet somebody – for example, standing in a bar, bored out of your mind, hands in your pockets playing pocket pool?
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Have you met a guy during the last six months whom you really liked a lot, but for some reason or other things just didn’t work out with him?

Perhaps you two went out and you (or he) over-thought things after the date.

Perhaps the two of you never called each other thinking the other would make that first phone call.
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If Forrest Gump said that life is like a box of chocolates, then David Wygant can say that life is like a museum.

Think about it: in a museum you have so many things to talk about. You have nothing but built-in openers: “how does that make you feel?” “What do you see when you look at that?” There is always an object that you can talk about in a museum.
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