You know what she’s thinking?  She’s wondering, “Why doesn’t he talk to me? Why does he stare at me?  Why is he constantly looking at me but never saying a word?  Is he mute? Is he terrified?  Does he speak Russian and not speak a word of English?”

Here’s what funny: every morning I wake up and I walk for a few miles and I see the same woman every single day.  I look at her, sometimes I smile, and sometimes I don’t.  

So today, I looked at her and said hello, and she looks at me—eyes light up, face lights up—and she says “Hi,” like it was a relief that I finally talked to her.  I mean, come on guys, stop trying to always think about what to say and just say, “Good morning. Hello.”

If you see somebody over and over again the best conversation starter is not the most clever thing you can think of, it’s just a simple “Hey, Hi, Good morning, I’m a normal human being.  I know how to say good morning. It’s one of the first things I learned when I watched Sesame Street when I was a kid.”

Don’t overcomplicate it.  Make it simple. And if you make it simple, you’ll start building up your confidence and your social network.  “Good morning” leads to “Hey, how are you doing today?” or “I see you all the time walking.” It leads to a conversation the next time.

So stop appearing to be this neurotic freak that scares her because you never talk to her and just stare at her, and start being the human being.

It’s that simple.

A while ago I came up with this really fun exercise. I told my client to use the alien approach. For those of you that have no idea what the alien approach is, it’s very simple. You take a full day and pretend like you were just beamed onto the earth for 24 hours.

How would you act?

First off, okay, you’d be in a weird body because you’re used to having lizard guts, eyes that can light a fire, and long, bony, metallic hands. Now you’re in a human body for the very first time and you find that very peculiar.

So what would you do for that one day? Well, first, you’d go around and you’d look at people. You’d survey things, you’d observe all day, you’d wonder what people are feeling, what they were doing. You’d be curious about everything that these people were doing–hell, if somebody ordered a turkey sandwich, you’d be so curious because you’ve never had turkey before. So you could ask if that turkey stuff is any good.

On top of all that, you’d have enthusiasm for everything around you because basically you are brand new to this planet, never having been here before, never experiencing it before. Never even knowing what anything is. You’d be curious about the world around you.
Not only that, you’d want to talk to as many people as possible because you’d want to find out what the human race is all about. And you’d be reporting back to the king or queen alien so you’d be required to give them a full report.

You’d spend the entire day being hyper-sensitive to the world around you. You wouldn’t worry about your alien phone, or your “a-phone”. You wouldn’t worry about reading and sending out texts, e-mails, checking your Facebook, nothing like that.

All you’d worry about is trying to figure out the human race – meeting people, talking to people, being curious about people and things.

Here’s a deal for all of you who have trouble meeting people: go out there and use the alien exercise. Pretend you were beamed down to earth from another planet for the day. Pretend like you’ve never been on Earth before. And do everything that I wrote about above. Have enthusiasm, ask questions, respond to people. You’re an alien, so you want to gather as much information as you possibly can before you’re beamed back to your stratosphere.

One of the things I always say to the checkout people when they ask you if you want paper or plastic, I always tell them, “No, no paper, no plastic. I’m just going to carry everything out in my hands.”
I like to see if they’re paying attention.

So today, the checkout woman didn’t ask me if I wanted paper or plastic. She asked, “Is plastic okay?” I replied that plastic is fine.
She goes, “Would you like any utensils with your food?”

I said, “No, I’m just going to eat it all in the car on the way home.” She was on such autopilot that what I said didn’t even register with her. I looked at her and said, “I’m only kidding, you know?”

She looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and goes, “I got it.”

What’s really funny about people, especially people at registers like the check-out person at the grocery store, is they’re always on autopilot. They’re constantly going,

“Paper or plastic? Would you like any utensils? Debit or credit?”

It’s like they don’t even acknowledge that a real person is in front of them. They’re just so caught up in work mode, automatic mind set mode, whatever they’re doing just to get through their day.

So a really great exercise for you guys to do is to snap people out of that automatic mode. Snap them out of the boring routine of the day and get them to interact with a real person. Snap them out of that moment with a joke and then smile and laugh.

What happens is you’ll get other people around you to start talking to you too. This woman laughed and started talking to me right as I was paying and said, “God, I thought you really were going to eat it all on the way home!”

She played in on the whole joke and we had a fun laugh together.

These are all great opportunities for you guys to really go and transition into other conversations, plus you get to snap people out of their boring, monotonous daytime routines and actually give them some fun and engaging conversation, as well.

Yesterday we all went to Spitalfields Market, and everyone met so many cool women. For those of you who are in London, Spitalfields is a must. I ate so much great food again, I really stuffed myself. Then we sat to digest for a bit as I lead a really “heavy” discussion on dating!! Bo-bump-bump…pshhh!
You know that sound, that “bo-bump-bump” drum sound you hear at a bad comedy show? You know what “bo-bump-bump” is? That’s not just reserved for late-night talk shows, it’s also you when you become Punch-Line Guy.

Are you the guy that read somewhere on the Internet that women are really attracted to the funny guy? So now, in every conversation you have, you always want to make sure that you can show you’re funny, that you get the punch line out as quickly as possible? Basically you are punch line guy. You’re that guy who, within a minute of a conversation, whatever the topic, you have to end the conversation with this funny joke (well, at least that you think it’s funny).

Here’s the deal guys: That really takes both you and her out of a moment that could have been special. Punch-line guys tend to kill conversations because there’s not much to go on after you spew your cheesy punch-line. Especially if the punch line wasn’t that funny, maybe she’ll chuckle a little bit and then she’ll just realize the conversation is ending.
What most punch-line guys do is they just end the conversation with that mediocre punch line, they don’t keep it rolling. They take a perfectly good conversation and they feel like they have to spit the joke out somewhere to show her that they’re funny.

The reality is that you have plenty of chances to show her that you’re funny—at the right moments. But your problem is that you can’t risk waiting to be naturally funny, waiting to be funny at all the right moments. You have to do it now, you have to try to create the punch line moment because this is the ONLY moment to show her you’re worth getting to know.
I know what this is like because I used to be punch line guy. I was the class clown, I used to sit back and wait for my punch line in class. When I was first learning to talk to women, I’d always anticipate and wait for the punch line. I’d throw it out there and expect a big laugh but I never realized, when I was younger, that actually killed a lot of good conversations because I was killing the momentum.

All the punch line does is show that you’re not really listening and adding the conversation, it just shows that you want to be the center of attention, because that’s what punch line guy really is. He wants to be validated, he wants people to think he’s funny, and he wants to be the center of attention. So the next time you have your punch line guy moment, think to yourself, Is this really a proper moment for the punch line? Think about that. Will it keep the conversation flowing, or will it end the conversation like it has in the past?

A lot of you are probably in front of your computer or on your phone right now, texting, e-mailing, you’re at different stages of planning out what you’re going to be doing tonight. You’ve waited all week for Friday night. This is going to be the night that you’re going to go out and meet a cool new woman. If all goes right, everything is going to change by the weekend, you’ll have one or two or even three prospective new dates, and your lifestyle is going to be different. You’re finally going to approach the woman you’re most attracted to.

Then what happens? As the night progresses, all those fears and excuses start creeping in. You get paralyzed. You stand around the bar. You do nothing.

Some of you may not even be reading this blog until late night Friday night, and you’ll say to yourself, “David, you just described my night. I was all jazzed. I was all excited. You’re right, slowly but surely, all my fears and excuses crept in and the next thing I knew, I was home again. I was staring at the ceiling, reviewing the night, and I finally came up with something really great to say to the woman I was attracted to, but it’s too late now.”

Here’s what I want all of you who read this blog early today to do. For those of you who are reading it late, do this exercise tomorrow night.

I want you to go out. I don’t want you to talk to a single person tonight. Not one person. I want you to observe, and I want you to watch, and I want you to understand the dynamic of what makes one guy fearless and successful with women, and another guy who goes home and masturbates, dreaming of the woman he wishes he could be with. I want you to watch the guys that are successful with women.

It doesn’t matter what they say, because I’m about to launch a brand new program that’s going to give you everything you need to say in these situations. I want you to take a look at their body language. I want you to take a look at what real attraction is. I want you to look at these guys and I want you to basically see how much fun they’re having. How engaging they are, how they use their hand motions, how they smile, how they walk with confidence. I want you to notice everything about them.

Now what I want you to do is I want you to look at yourself. No, don’t look directly at yourself in the mirror, but look at a guy just like you. I want you to find the guy who’s in the corner with his hands in his pockets, a clueless or frustrated look on his face, the kind of guy you can feel is really thinking with all the monkey chatter going on in his head.

I want you to look at that guy, and I want you to ask yourself this question: if you were a woman, who would you rather talk to? The guy who’s going around talking to everybody and generally just having a great time, or the guy who’s paralyzed in the corner waiting for the woman to go to the bathroom so he can chase her down and find the right moment to talk to her? The guy with that nervous energy who kinda scares people a little?

How do you feel? What type of emotion do you feel when you look at the guys who are having fun versus the guys who are not having fun? This is a great exercise that I have every single client do, any guy who’s ever been successful with women going out and meeting them on a Friday or Saturday night. Every guy goes through this exercise, because you have got to learn how to enjoy yourself before you can start meeting people. If you approach with nervous energy, nothing will happen, but if you approach with a smile while having a good time, the words don’t make a difference.

Note To All Men: If you are already subscribed to my email list you are well aware that next week I’m releasing a new product that is going to empower you to get over the BIGGEST issue you guys have when it comes to meeting women… approach anxiety. I hear it time and time again, and it was confirmed by thousands of survey responses taken by my email subscribers that have been pouring in the past couple of weeks.

I put together a video to help you learn how to kill approach anxiety to become natural with women, simply by using the power of observation!“

It’s all because some of you wait so long to approach them. You sit there wondering “How do I approach her? What do I say?”

And all you are doing is stalling… By the time you actually muster up the nerve, you scare her half to death.

Here is an email I received from a client.

Dear David,

T

Today’s podcast is all about how to get rid of that nervous feeling and never scare another woman again!

To Download Today’s Podcast Click Here.

In reality, there are only a few things in life on which you are an expert, but one of those things is your errands. You’re an expert at your errands — and about the places you go time and time again as part of your errands.

How many times have you been to that same supermarket? You’ve been there and seen those women you’re attracted to a thousand times.

How many times have you run into Starbucks to get your morning coffee and seen that woman you’re attracted to also getting hers. How many times have you ordered coffee there? You’re an expert there.

How many times do you go to the dry cleaner, the library or a bookstore? If you think about it, you can see all the places in which you are already an expert where you can be meeting people.

You know the history of those places. You may have been shopping at Ralph’s for ten years, and you know that the donuts that are the shelves on Tuesdays are different than the donuts they put on the shelf on Thursdays.

How To Meet Men At The Supermarket

So why aren’t you meeting people in these places? The problem is that you get into these places and you go right into your head . . . and inside your head is a bad neighborhood.

The worst block in that neighborhood is at the intersection of Fear Avenue and Insecure Boulevard. It’s a horrible place.

It’s not only bad, but the traffic lights never work. Everybody is stuck right in the middle of it. No one knows which car should go first, which person should walk, and which person should turn right or left.

So if you are stuck at that intersection of Fear Avenue and Insecure Boulevard, what do you do about it? You become the leader.

You realize that you are an expert in that intersection. You’ve already been through that intersection a million times. So you need to bring yourself back to the moment, and really grind into your head where you are.

So if you are at Ralph’s and you see a woman standing there staring at the donut boxes, just take a second to look around, observe and realize you’ve eaten donuts your entire life. You’ve dreamed of donuts even before you could eat donuts. (I hope you’ve figured out that donuts is just the analogy here.)

You’re in a place where you are truly an expert. So really allow your brain to process all the signals that are going on around you, and then speak with authority.

I don’t care if you walk up and just say something like, “I like the white powdered sugar ones better, but really what are you in the mood for?” Whatever you say, just say it with authority. Speak with clarity and passion in your voice.

You’re an expert at the places you go to run your errands, but you refuse to use your brain and state the obvious with confidence. You are an expert in all these places, and yet you spend the whole time in them inside your head wondering what to do and say that is clever.

The truth is that nobody is smarter than you are in the places you go to run your errands. So take advantage of that!

But now – according to the world of pickup people all over this world
- a night game is something entirely different.

As the lights dim, the crowd smells like a bad bar—people protruding
vomit from both ends. A woman stumbles her way in, and four guys
quickly look, and think to themselves: “Aah! Night game! Perfect
target: A woman drunk, stumbling. I’ll be able to use some of my Bob
Seger ‘Night Moves’ on her.”

Night moves are even different than day game. Night game is for the
real pro: The guy that really knows how to pick up a really drunk
woman; the guy that really knows how to make a really drunk woman feel
good; the guy who knows how to approach in the wee hours of the
morning. It’s called night game.

Pickup women at wrigley

It’s so funny—the terminology that guys use for meeting women. There’s
day game, which of course is easy to figure out. It’s getting women
during the day. But how come no one’s ever come up with the term
day-night doubleheader? You know, in baseball, you play one game in
the afternoon, one game at night—it becomes a day-night doubleheader.
So what about the guy that goes out late in the afternoon and then
tries to meet women at night? Is it a day-game night-game
doubleheader? Wouldn’t that be considered a day-night double header?

What about the guy that only preys on drunken women that reek of
vomit? Would he be an opportunist? Would he be just a drunk prowler?
Drunk prowler: There’s a new terminology. There’s so much terminology
out there—it’s hilarious.

Can you imagine if women talked like this? Can you imagine if they
decided to go out and say “Hey Mary, this is Amy. Let’s go out and
have some night game tonight. Let’s go out and find some men tonight,
maybe a three set, maybe a four set. Maybe we’ll get a couple of
drunken guys, and we’ll go home, and we’ll get an instant drunken date
with them.” Can you imagine if women spoke that way? Can you imagine
if women actually said “Hey man, this is Amy again, let’s go out and
meet some guys during the day. Want to practice our day game moves
right now?” It’s hilarious. And men have to use terminology.

But with women, it’s all about serendipitous moments—real moments that
can happen either during the daytime or the nighttime. Night game and
day game are one.

Come on guys. Let’s talk as men. You know I’ve written about the
ratings scale—she’s a seven, she’s an eight, she’s a nine. You know
how much I hate that. Either it’s a one or a two. One you like her, or
two you don’t. There you go. Another friend of mine says it’s either
yes or no. Yes you’re attractive, or no you’re not.

Can you imagine if women actually graded men? “Mary, why are you going
out with him? He’s only like a 7.2! He really needs to lose a little
bit of weight so he can fit into his bathing suit better.” Guys are so
messed up.

As usual the year is moving along at a rapid pace.

One month from today is my birthday, so this will be your only reminder to make sure that you spoil me on my birthday!

I have a question for all of you today.

How fun are you?

Are you able to get out of your head and just let go, without thinking of how others perceive you?

I show you how on today’s podcast, listen now below!

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

As well as a podcast today, I want to share this video with you.

When I was in London last month we did a get out of your head exercise during the bootcamp.

Check out how we go out of our heads and became the life of the party in London.

And for those of you who are thinking of a bootcamp.

I only have 3 left this year, so check out the schedule below and if your interested shoot me an email so we can go over all the details.

Bootcamp Schedule

June 10th – 12th
The Only 2011 New York City Bootcamp for Men
1 slots left!

July 15th – 17th
Toronto Bootcamp for Men with myself and Marni from Wing Girls.
5 slots left!

October 28th – 30th
London Bootcamp for Men
5 slots left!

I can tell you one thing.

Insomnia is brutal! Anyway here are my quick thoughts for today.

So you went out on a Saturday and you talked to 47 women, and you didn’t connect with any of them.

You did everything right.

You commented based on a real observation, you responded to what she said in the moment, you spoke what was on your mind, but yet,it just didn’t click.

You didn’t click with any of them.

You know why? It’s because you haven’t met anybody who appreciates you yet, so who gives a shit? Who cares?

You’ve got to appreciate you. No one’s going to appreciate you unless you appreciate yourself first.

Look at all the people you do business with, all the people you interact with professionally. Do they do business with you, do they think you’re cool as hell? It’s because they see you as you really are.

When we look at ourselves, we all see our neurotic sides.