I think a lot of people are really unrealistic. This is especially true when it comes to dating.
Think about this. There are 52 weeks and 365 days in a year. Think if you went out and met people every single day with the goal of getting one date per week. I’m not just talking about a date with anyone you can find, but with someone with whom you share a real chemistry connection.
That’s 52 quality dates a year. You don’t think that out of those 52 dates that you’re going to find at least one person with whom you really connect and with whom you will form a relationship?
It’s funny how many times people say to me, “David, I’d like to go on two to three dates per week.” Why?
It’s really all about going out every single day and meeting people. You can do it for ten or twenty minutes one day or a half hour another day depending on your schedule. It doesn’t really matter.
By doing that, don’t you think you can meet one person per week with whom you share a great connection? Don’t you think you’ll find that great and amazing person with whom you love to hang.
Don’t you think you’d find people along the way that would be great sexual partners? Don’t you think you’d find people who will teach you things and people with whom you can share things? Don’t you think you might find people you want to date for a week, a month or maybe forever?
So, really, keep your goals realistic. Go out there and look for that one great date every week. No need to worry about how many dates you’re getting. Try this for a week!
Wonder what to say to when you are out meeting all these people? Click here to listen to my favorite openers to use when talking to women.
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So many guys are obsessed with meeting women on the street.
Its seems like every guy wants to know the secret of how to grab her attention and make her stop in her tracks, forget where she was going, and fall for the magic that spews out of his mouth.
Today I am going to share this secret with you.
Women of the blog your job is to recognize these efforts when they happen and help the men along!
Looking forward to reading todays comments!!!!
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A client of mine just asked me a great question, and I wanted to share it with all of you. He asked me, “What if I walk over to a woman and I say something that I think is absolutely hilarious, and she looks at me with a snotty look on her face and says ‘that’s not funny?’”
I told him that there is something I do every time in this situation. The first thing I do is stay in the situation, because I am a man of confidence, strength and conviction.
What I will do is look her directly in the eyes and say, “Well, obviously we don’t have the same sense of humor. It’s a good thing we found this out right now, before we got romantically involved.”
I’ll say it with a smile on my face. I bust her really hard on what she said.
I’ve done this a lot. What happens is that she’ll start cracking up and will say some something like, “Oh my God, now THAT’s funny!” Then I’ll say, “What? Funny that you and I are dating, or funny that you and I don’t have the same sense of humor?”
So do you see how this scenario can go very differently when you go into it with no fear, and when you challenge someone on what they say? You need to go into these situations not so outcome-oriented.
A lot of times guys will go into a situation like this thinking, “I’m going to go and flirt with her right now. I’m going to hope that she responds to me so I can get her number (even though I don’t even know anything about her yet).”
So by being not so outcome-derived, it allows you to speak your mind and allows you to eliminate being intimidated by somebody. Also, by challenging someone you are pushing them a little bit.
For example, the woman in the “that’s not funny” scenario above may have not thought what you said was funny because of nothing having to do with what you actually said. She might have been thinking about something else, like her friend yelling at her earlier that day, and she took it out on you.
Staying in the situation and challenging her like I’ve described gives you the opportunity to maybe turn the situation around. So the next time a woman tells you “that’s not funny,” say exactly what I said to say in this blog and then let the fun begin!
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Let’s talk about Mr. Perfect today. I want everyone to know about Mr. Perfect.
Everyone who is out there trying to improve their dating life by meeting people in situations in which they normally don’t meet people is playing the role of Mr. Perfect. So let’s put Mr. Perfect in a situation so you can see what I mean.
Let’s put Mr. Perfect in a supermarket. What does Mr. Perfect do?
Well, Mr. Perfect knows that he needs to go out there and converse with people all day long to become more sociable and to open up his energy. So Mr. Perfect will see a woman looking at crackers, he will see an opportunity, he will walk over to her, and then the same thing will always happen.
He’ll walk over and make a comment like, “Man, I don’t really know what crackers are good here” or “Can you make a suggestion on what kind of crackers I should buy?” What happens to Mr. Perfect every time when he does this? She walks away.
Do you know why? It is because that is what happens to people who try to be perfect and don’t make the situation natural. When you act like Mr. Perfect, what you say never comes out sounding natural.
Why? Didn’t Mr. Perfect walk over and say something based on what she was doing in that moment like I always say to do?
Well, yes, but when he walked over to her he probably walked over all nervous. He didn’t walk over to her curious and confident, with a real question to ask her.
He walked over there thinking about the question he was going to ask her the whole time he was approaching her. He was thinking, “I’m going to ask her about crackers. I’m going to ask her to give me a cracker recommendation.”
Then when he actually asks her about the crackers, it doesn’t come out natural at all. So of course she is going to walk away. Of course she will start heading in another direction, because that is what happens to Mr. Perfect.
So what does Mr. Perfect do when that happens? Even though Mr. Perfect knows that this was just one encounter with one person, he will immediately think to himself “I can’t do this. This is too hard. This is not going to work. She didn’t respond to me.”
Then, all of a sudden, he’ll start manifesting those negative thoughts in every interaction he has after that. He will sabotage his ability to make each one of those interactions successful.
The truth is that none of those negative thoughts are true at all. Mr. Perfect is fully capable of successfully approaching women.
The reason that the “cracker situation” happens to Mr. Perfect is because he sabotaged the interaction before he said a word to her by trying to be perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. Nobody wants perfect.
What do we really want in a relationship with someone? We want someone who understands us, someone who is going to resonate with us, someone from whom we can learn and someone we can really experience.
We’re not perfect people. So when you walk over to anyone, there is no such thing as perfection.
If someone doesn’t respond to you, it could be because you ran into a mirror image of yourself — someone who is absolutely and completely nervous to talk to people and doesn’t know what to say. In other words, someone else who thinks they have to be perfect.
So what happens when a Mr. Perfect meets a Ms. Perfect, is that one of them will walk away from the encounter because they are so nervous and don’t know what to say. They get way too much inside their head. It’s a cycle that will keep repeating until they stop being a Mr. Perfect.
You don’t ever have to be perfect. There is no perfection in life. None.
Despite this, there seems to be so many people who feel the need to be perfect when they are trying to improve their dating lives. There is no need for this. If all the Mr. Perfects out there would change their mindset, they would experience a lot closer to “perfect” results.
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The other day, I was walking down the street with Sonja. This guy came up to us and said, “Do you like poetry?” I looked at him and said, “No.”
I just didn’t feel like being hassled. Whenever I’m walking down the street, I’m walking down the street to get somewhere — maybe to get some food or to go to a shop. I might just be walking the dog, but I’m usually going somewhere.
I don’t like being harassed when I go somewhere. I hate being asked for money. I think it’s crazy.
I hate these guys who want to play music for you. I know they’re trying to hustle, but I’m just not in the mood to be hustled.
This brings me to my point for this blog, which both men and women need to understand.
Every man I’ve ever coached wants to know how to meet women on the street. They want to know, “How can I stop her when she’s walking? How can I stop her on the street and meet her?”
What I say to the guys who ask me this is always the same thing: How do you feel when people stop you on the street? It’s irritating.
Now, if someone tries to casually talk to me when I’m window shopping at a store, I might engage in conversation and I might not. To be stopped when I’m briskly walking down the street to get to a destination, however, is annoying.
It’s just like the man today who asked us if we like poetry. That was annoying.
To all the guys who are just so obsessed with meeting women on the street, why don’t you just stop a woman and say, “Excuse me, do you like to be picked up while you’re running down the street?” There are so many people to meet. Don’t bother people when they’re walking.
You can smile. You can say hello. If they respond, maybe a conversation could ensue. Otherwise, most of us are just going to a destination.
When we get to that destination we’re relaxed. We’re happy. We’re in a better place to probably communicate and talk.
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With a title like this, you all knew I would talk about the power of observation in this blog. Observation really is the key to life.
If you can observe what somebody is doing, you can communicate with people no matter where you are. Observations are the key to starting a good conversation.
Everywhere you go, you can make an observation. Everything about which you make an observation can be turned into a conversation.
There is one place, however, where you can’t make an observation. It is when you’re driving behind a truck or an SUV.
It’s like driving behind a wall. You can’t see anything.
I feel like I’m being totally detached from everything that’s around me. It drives me bananas. I hate being detached. I like to see everything.
So for those of you who have an SUV, think about trading it in so I can spend my time seeing more of the world.
And of course we will live in a much more fuel efficient world and everyone can see the whole world around them.
Just a bit of humor on this beautiful June Sunday!
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