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Archive for the ‘Dave's Faves’ Category |
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Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
In over 14 years of doing this, I think I have heard it all. I think I have heard every fear imaginable — fear of approaching, fear of getting intimate, fear of saying what’s on your mind and even fear of initiating that first kiss.
You guys have labeled all these things in so many different and creative ways, from monkey chatter to approach anxiety. I mean, if you Google “fear,” it is amazing how many different versions of it will pop up in the search results.
What I am about to share with you in today’s podcast is going to blow you away. I know that every week I tell you that the podcast is the most powerful one ever, but that is because every week I come up with something more powerful than the week before.
In this podcast, I am going to tell you why there are only two emotions in this world: one is love and the other is fear. Hate is fear. Approach anxiety is fear.
Love and fear really are the only two emotions, and in this podcast I explain to you how to really embrace loving everything and fearing nothing. Click here to listen now:
Also, if you want to learn how to truly embrace love in your life and also how to truly erase fear, then you need to check out my Men’s “What’s Your Excuse?” and my Women’s “No Excuses” programs.
Tags: advice, approach anxiety, Date, dating, Dating Advice, dating tips, david wygant, fear, fear and love, fear of approaching, fear of love, google, how to kiss, kiss, kissing, love, monkey chatter, podcast, tips
Posted in Dave's Faves, Life Style 101, Love, Mindset | 34 Comments »
Friday, November 13th, 2009
Before you listen to today’s podcast, I am about to share with all the men something to which you need to really pay attention.
Yesterday on the flight home from New York City, I was sitting next to a guy who was wearing a pair of True Religion jeans. Every time he bent over or reached down for something, the whole plane had the privilege of seeing half of his hairy ass. I am not just talking “plumber butt crack,” this was plumber butt crack on steroids.
This is not something anyone needs to see . . . ever. Every time he moved, every person on that plane — women, men and children — were forced to see his ass.
SO, guys, if you can feel the wind chafing your ass when you are wearing jeans, then it means they are way too low and you need to cover up!
Now, on to another revealing topic . . .
This might be the most powerful podcast you will ever hear. I was recently on the phone with a guy who was thinking about taking a Bootcamp, and he asked me why he has trouble approaching women. He had already attended someone else’s bootcamp at which they had instructed him to approach women using some kind of pickup line.
I told him that pickup lines will never work. Life is all about observations based on instincts. He asked me about what kind of instincts I was talking, and I told him I was talking about the kind of instincts we have as a child.
Remember when you were a kid (maybe three, four or five years old) and you’d see something you like so you’d look at it and touch it? Remember also how when you did that your mother would scold you and say, “Don’t do that?”
Do you realize that the social conditioning we got from about the age of four to about the age of eleven was all about the things we should not do (and all about the things we can’t do)? Don’t look at strangers. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t smile at that person.
Our social conditioning is the reason why so many of us out there now suffer from problems meeting the opposite sex. Our social conditioning taught us not to talk to people instead of relying on our natural instincts.
This podcast will truly blow you away. It is by far the most important podcast I’ve ever done. Enough writing now. It’s time to open your ears and start listening!
Also, if you want to learn how to recapture your natural instincts and de-program yourself from all of you bad social conditioning, then you need to check out my Men’s “What’s Your Excuse?” and my Women’s “No Excuses” programs.
Tags: advice, approach, approach women, approaching, approaching women, attract women, attracting women, Date, dating, david wygant, how to approach women, how to attract women, tips
Posted in Attract and Approach Men, Attract and Approach Women, Dave's Faves, Day Game, Life Style 101 | 36 Comments »
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
I am in New York City for a few days. I saw a great sign yesterday here that said, “Don’t Honk — $350.00 Penalty.”
Now, how would they know who honked? What if four people honked all at once? Is that an instant $1,400.00 for the City of New York?
You got to love New York City. It’s the loudest city in the United States, and they think that one less car honking its horn will help.
Speaking of travel, let’s talk about traveling and dating . . .
So, you are dating somebody brand new, and you are really excited about them. You decide you are going to plan a weekend trip for the two of you to take together.
A weekend trip is so much fun, but do you know what is the most interesting thing about taking a weekend trip together? You are going to get to know this person better.
Let me tell you something. When you travel with someone, all the wrappers are taken off the candy.
You get to know all sorts of things about the other person you would not probably get to see at this point in your dating relationship. You get to know their bathroom habits. You get to know how long they spend in the bathroom. You get to see how they really look and act first thing in the morning.
Let me tell you something. People can’t pack all the stuff they protect themselves with at home. So on a trip, they expose themselves.
You get to know if they are grumpier in the morning than they’ve acted on those few nights you’ve spent together so far. You get to know more about what they are really like.
Traveling with somebody is the best way to get to know them. It is something that I tell people to do all the time.
If you are dating for a month, then go away for a night. Get them out of their home element. Get them to put their BlackBerry down. Take them out somewhere away from home.
After you’ve been dating someone for two months, go away for a weekend with them. Really get to know them more.
After three or four months of dating themsomeone, go away together for four or five days. Let me tell you, it is when you are away for this many days that all the shit really hits the fan.
You get to see them in all situations. You get to see them when they get frustrated at the airport. You get to see them when they’ve had a long and exhausting day. You get to see how they deal with all of those various “travel mishaps” that inevitably occur.
Traveling with somebody strips them down to their core, and gives you the opportunity to get to know them in all ways. I have had relationships in the past end after I took someone away for the weekend. Things would be great and then, all of a sudden, I’d be away for the weekend wondering who this monster was with whom I was spending the weekend.
So, one of the greatest things to do when you’re dating someone is to follow my travel schedule. If you follow my travel schedule, you are going to get to know somebody very, very quickly.
Tags: advice, Date, dating, Dating Advice, dating tips, david wygant, How To Start A Relationship, new York city, tips, travel and dating, weekend getaway
Posted in Dave's Faves, How To Start A Relationship, Top Date Ideas | 8 Comments »
Thursday, October 8th, 2009
In order to meet somebody great, you need to create a great lifestyle for yourself. You need to do things you love.
The first thing (and one of the most important things) you need to do, is to evaluate your work environment. You need to be in a healthy work environment, one you love and one that has people in it with whom you enjoy spending time.
Of course there are going to be times at work you don’t enjoy. There’s going to be things you have to do that you don’t like. There are going to be people you need to interact with whom you don’t particularly like. In the grand scheme of things, though, you have to decide which compromises you’re willing to make with yourself.
You may be in a job that doesn’t stimulate you like it used to, but it pays you well enough to allow you to maintain the lifestyle you really enjoy. So you make an agreement with yourself that you’re going to stick with this job because it allows you to do the things you like to do outside of work.
If that job is something you just don’t like anymore then you could move to another company, except you’re afraid to move. If you can make a lateral move where you don’t lose money or seniority, then I suggest you spend some time and energy to do that. It will really improve your life overall.
Lifestyle is something a lot of people don’t fully understand. Lifestyle means doing the things that you love. If you do the things you love to do, you will always have something to talk about with people.
If you’re somebody who does not enjoy going to a bar, then you’re really not going to have things to talk about there. You’re just going to be standing there punching the time clock. You’re basically going to be walking in, handing your time card to the bartender to punch, spending a few hours there, paying your bill and then punching out before you leave. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
So, do things that you love. If you like exploring new neighborhoods, explore new neighborhoods. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s only important that the “it” is something you love.
One of the reasons why creating a lifestyle like this is so important, is that creating a lifestyle makes you more open. You want to be open all the time.
Don’t go places and just “show up.” When you go to places, you want to show up and embrace everything.
You need to smile. You need to talk to people. You need to have random conversations with strangers all day long. That way, when you find someone to whom you are attracted you will have an open energy that will attract them (and get them to come over and approach you!).
The reason why a lot of women don’t get approached and a lot of men aren’t approachable, is because they’ve got a look on their face that says ‘don’t talk to me’ to people. People have that look on their face because they’re not really having fun.
They are not enjoying things. Everything you do, you should do with a child-like enthusiasm.
Go to the supermarket and act like you’ve never before been in there. Look through everything, have a good time and ask questions.
Ask questions of other people in the store. If you see someone getting a brand of yogurt you’ve never tried say, “I’m curious. I’ve never had that. Is it good?” Use those kind of approaches to talk to people everywhere.
Let’s say you’re in a brand new coffee shop and it’s your first time there. Don’t just order a cup of coffee. Ask the person standing in line next to you, “What do you recommend?” Even if you’re the only one in line, ask the guy behind the counter, “Hey, What’s good here?”
Get into a conversation, because people notice open energy. People notice people who are having fun. People notice people to whom other people are talking. It’s called attraction.
The law of attraction works. When you walk into a place and you start talking to a bunch of different people, other people will line up and want to talk to you.
I teach this at my Bootcamps all the time, and the guys see firsthand that it works every time. I remember one time at a Bootcamp we went into Neiman Marcus and started to talk to a woman.
All of a sudden, everyone was watching us and watching this interaction. Everyone was watching her smile. Everyone was watching us smile. When we went into another department, I had the guys do the exact same thing.
So when we came back through again for the second time, people literally started walking up to us and started conversations with us. One woman said, “Wow, you guys are so much fun!”
That is the kind of energy to which people are attracted. People are attracted to people having a good time. No one wants to hang out with a person who’s pouting, folding their arms and looking miserable.
So it’s about creating a lifestyle and being open. Do things that you love, and enjoy and embrace every moment.
By doing that, you will naturally start attracting people. You’ll be more open, so people will start talking to you. Being open will also get you to start talking to more people.
The key here is that when you are more open, people will notice you and will want to be around you. If they want to be around you, they’ll start talking to you.
So, why chase when you can attract?
Tags: attract men, attract women, attracting men, attracting women, bad work environments, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, david wygant, hot to talk to the opposite sex, how to attract men, how to attract women, how to meet hotter women, how to meet men, how to meet women, how to start a conversation, how to talk to men, how to talk to women, law of attraction, lifestyle, meet hotter women, meeting men, meeting women, neiman marcus, seniority, work
Posted in Attract and Approach Men, Attract and Approach Women, Body Language, Dave's Faves, Day Game, How To Be A Better Communicator | 19 Comments »
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
Have you ever seen the movie The Sixth Sense in which the little kid utters that now famous line, “I see dead people?” I sometimes feel like I see bullshit.
I read my emails every day and I listen to what people are saying, but when I read between the lines what I really see is bullshit. Every day someone emails me and tells me that they can’t do something, or they won’t do something or that change is too hard.
The truth is that they don’t want to do the work because the work is too hard. A lot of people are lazy. A lot of people don’t want to do the work.
A friend of mine has been complaining for the last fifteen years about how fat he is. Every year when I go see him in Manhattan he complains about this and tells me that he needs to lose weight.
Then he’ll go on some miracle 48 hour diet expecting it to fix the problem. I tell him all the time that if he’d just go to the gym and do cardio four days a week, that he will lose weight. I tell him that if he’d just eat healthy that he would look good.
I’ve had this same conversation with him probably at least one thousand times, but he’s always looking for the miracle cure to the problem. We’re all looking for the miracle cure, which is why I see bullshit.
There is no miracle cure to losing weight. The only way to lose weight and get great muscle tone is to work out.
There is no miracle cure for anything. There is no miracle way to meet men or women unless you practice and do the things necessary to develop the muscles in your brain (your personality and inner confidence).
There are no shortcuts. So when I find a person who is looking for a shortcut or who falls for shortcuts, I usually say to them “I see bullshit.” I see bullshit every single day.
You want to be a great lover? What you need to do is practice. How do you practice? You learn, you read and you practice with people. You open yourself up and you tell the truth.
I recently had a client at a Bootcamp who is a fantastic guy, but didn’t have much sexual experience at all. I told him he needed to practice. I told him to find some great women that are attracted to him and learn how to be a great lover.
You’re never going to become great at anything unless you practice. Ask any athlete about this and they will tell you the same thing.
Do you think Lance Armstrong wanted to ride his bike 35 miles every day? No, he didn’t. Do you think Peyton Manning wants to throw the same route over and over again to Reggie Wayne in practice when he’s already done it 10,000 times already? Probably not.
I remember reading on the Internet one time that Peyton Manning had thrown something like 123 touchdown passes to Marvin Harrison. Really, though, he’s thrown over 10,000 touchdown passes to him if you count all the times he’s thrown those same passes to him in practice (so that those passes would be successful in the games).
Do you want things in your life to work for you? Then you’ve got to work at it.
Whether you want to lose weight, meet women or be a better lover doesn’t matter. Whatever you want to achieve in life, you need to go out and practice. You need to work hard.
You need to be willing to do things you’ve never done before. Otherwise, all you’re going to hear me say is, “I see bullshit.”
Tags: advice, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, david wygant, how to achieve goals, how to become a better lover, how to get what you want, how to lose weight, how to practice, i see dead people, lance armstrong, marvin harrison, miracle weight loss, nfl, peyton manning, practice, reggie wayne, the sixth sense, the sixth sense movie, tips, weight loss
Posted in Dave's Faves, Goals & Aspirations, Mindset | 9 Comments »
Saturday, September 26th, 2009
It’s Saturday and as I was leaving this morning to go speak, I was thinking that I still need to give all of you my lead pipe, surefire football picks for this week. I do have my 3-0 record at stake here after all.
So for tomorrow, I like the Ravens and the Giants not only to win — but to crush their opponents. Tomorrow will also be the day that the Lions finally win a game. The Redskins have shown nothing so far, and the Lions are due.
On to today’s blog, and it’s a good one . . .
This blog today comes right from my heart. The wisest person in life is not the one who knows everything. Sure, that person is pretty damn wise, but only if that person has actually experienced everything he or she knows.
There are a lot of “Mr. Humble” people out there. You know who that person is, don’t you? He’s that guy who who is NEVER humble?
He is the one who always has something to say about everything. He thinks he knows about everything even though he’s never experienced half of the things about which he talks.
The wisest people are those who can shut the hell up when something new and unknown comes into their life. “Mr. Humble,” on the other hand, is always feeling like he needs to contribute something to the conversation even if he knows nothing about it.
I know when something comes up in a conversation with which I’m not familiar, that I sit back and listen. I don’t let my ego get in the way. If the conversation is going in a direction that I’m unfamiliar with and I can’t control, I just kick back and listen. As I listen, I’m learning.
Life is a series of repeated experiences. Two weeks after that conversation where I kicked back and listened, I might find myself in another conversation about that same topic about which I previously knew nothing.
Because I sat back and listened the first time, I’m now able to contribute. By contributing to this new conversation, I earn respect and I learn even more about the topic.
People often over-talk because they think that people will respect them more if they have a lot to say. People, however, actually respect you less if you over-talk. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s okay to sit back and listen.
The quiet, silent types are the ones who are always listening and learning. We all know people who will always contribute to the conversation, regardless of if they know about the topic or not.
It’s their ego talking. Their ego wants them to be the wisest person in the conversation. In reality, though, the wisest people I know talk half of the time, and listen the rest.
Tags: advice, attract, attraction, communicate, communication, communication skills, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, david wygant, how to be a better communicator, how to be successful, how to listen, money and success, success, tips
Posted in Dave's Faves, How To Be A Better Communicator, Life Style 101, Mindset, Money & Success | 29 Comments »
Monday, September 21st, 2009
I think I’m going to change professions. As predicted here on Saturday, the Jets beat the Patriots on Sunday. I think I even predicted they would win by a touchdown (which was what happened).
So not only can I predict the outcome of your dates, I can predict the outcome of football games for you too. Regarding your dates, I predict that most of them probably won’t go really well. That’s not to be negative, but the majority of dates don’t go well.
The Jets are the only team not to allow an offensive touchdown this year. That impresses me. Do you know who impresses me more? Rex Ryan, the Jets’ coach.
So much of life is all about coaching — in football, basketball, baseball . . . and even in dating. Without the right mentor, coach and system in place, you’re never going to get good at anything.
Life is really all about having good systems — good belief systems and good coaching systems. There’s a reason why Bill Belichick makes the Patriots competitive no matter which players they lose. It’s the system he’s put in place. Every player believes in him and believes in being a Patriot.
Life is also all about your mindset. Yesterday I saw a good friend of mine, Dr. Wayne Dyer, speak. I really enjoyed it. Here’s a man who has lived 69 years with the right mindset and belief systems, and he’s accomplished everything in his life that he’s ever wanted.
Without the right mindset, coaching and guidance, people will remain lost. How many of you resist change? How many of you have trouble changing because of your belief system? How many of you fear change, but yet you desire it so much?
Who coaches you through your hard times? To whom do you go for advice?
How honest are you with yourself about the changes that need to be made in your life? Are you someone who repeats the same mistakes over and over again, yet you can’t figure out how to change that pattern?
It’s all about coaching. It’s all about implementing a belief system that can work for you, and a belief system that will still get you to make changes on a daily basis even if things don’t always work out for you.
The reason why the Jets won yesterday, was because they made changes to their game plan at halftime. They came out in the second half, and Mark Sanchez began throwing the ball. They got the lead, and then basically proceeded to shut the Patriots down for the rest of the second half.
How did they do this? They made changes necessary to dictate the flow of the game in their favor.
Can you dictate the flow of your life in your favor? Can you do it even after frustrating things and setbacks happen to you? Can you recover quickly from rejection, or do you allow it to torture you all day long?
When something doesn’t go my way, I recover instantly. I shake it off as any good well-coached person will do.
I don’t allow things to affect me for any longer than they need to affect me. Whatever happens to me affects me in the moment, then I get over it and don’t remember even five minutes later why I was so shaken.
The systems I’m talking about are not some kind of magic system to pick up men or women. It’s about having a belief system. It’s about having the right belief system.
What is your belief system? What changes do you need to make in order to accomplish everything you want?
Wayne said is really well yesterday. He said that we should all spend the last five minutes of each day before we go to sleep imagining how we want the next day to be, imagining how we want our life to be, and imagining how that will feel.
You don’t want to spend the end of your days thinking about what didn’t get done, what you messed up and what you haven’t achieved. By thinking this way, a lot of you are programming yourself to be in a constant state of panic (that begins from the moment you wake up).
So today on this Monday, I challenge all of you to write down all the things you want to change, and how you will feel when you implement those changes.
For those of you who are looking to bet on tonight’s game — because you know I am a master handicapper — the game will be a lot closer than you think. The Colts, however, will squeeze out a win when the Dolphins forget to throw to Ted Ginn.
Tags: advice, behavior pattern, belief system, bill belichick, coaching, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, dating tips, david wygant, dr. wayne dyer, get a coach, goals, handicapper, how to deal with rejection, how to reach your goals, indianapolis colts, mark sanchez, miami dolphins, Mindset, monday night football, new england patriots, new york jets, nfl, nfl coaches, nfl football, nfl handicapping, rex ryan, ted ginn, tips, wayne dyer, wayne dyer excuses begone
Posted in Dave's Faves, Goals & Aspirations, Life Style 101, Mindset | 24 Comments »
Friday, September 11th, 2009
I want to share something with all of you that I think will be really interesting. Right now, I’m personally working on changing a behavior pattern I’ve had most of my life. I’m not going to tell you what it is, because it is not like I’d be admitting it to my best friend (but rather to probably around 10,000 people). I am, however, going to talk about the process I’m going through to change that behavior.
I am actually doing an exercise I tell all my clients to do. Every week, write down how your week went. Write down your wins and your losses, and do this based upon whatever behavior pattern you want to change.
We tend to get in our heads so much about something we want to change about ourselves. We tend to beat ourselves up so much that we don’t see the gains we’ve made.
So as part of working on this behavior I’m working on changing, last night I actually wrote down my wins and losses for the week. I had six wins and two losses. That’s a great week!
What’s so interesting is that if you don’t write down your wins and losses, then you can often miss them. Your two losses will feel like a hundred and your six wins won’t feel like any, because when you want to change something about yourself it tends to feel like an overwhelming task. It’s easy to get discouraged.
I also tell people to write down how they want their week to be. So, for example, if you want to meet women then write down where you’d like to meet them.
That way, you can always envision yourself doing these things. If you can envision yourself doing things, then you’re already feeling how it feels to be successful in the situation.
By writing down your wins and losses, you are confirming that you can actually break this behavior pattern. It takes time to really break behavior patterns. It takes work.
Wouldn’t it be great if there was a magic pill we could all take that would eliminate the things that drive us crazy about ourselves? Well, there is no such magic pill or herb or pharmaceutical drug that does that. There’s nothing but hard work, determination and perseverance to achieve that.
When you write this stuff down and look at it, it becomes far less intimidating. You actually can see yourself accomplishing it even more.
It takes thirty days to form new behaviors. That’s it, just thirty days . . . but it takes thirty days of being aware, thirty days of work, thirty days of trial and error, thirty days of wins and thirty days of setbacks.
By documenting it — writing it down and reading it on a weekly basis — you can actually trick your mind into making it easier. I even tell some people to do this on a daily basis so they can look at their daily wins and losses.
Remember that we all have losses. If you watched the football game last night, you saw a great example of this.
In that game, Hines Ward caught a great pass. His competitive nature made him fight to get to the end zone. He got the ball stripped from his hands which meant that instead of winning, the Steelers were forced into overtime.
If you look at Hines Ward on the sidelines afterwards you can see that even though he had a great night, that the fumble got to him. He was stamping his feet, pacing around and blowing off steam. When Pittsburgh got the ball in overtime, however, he was back on the field blocking and running and acting like the winner that he is.
Can you imagine if Hines Ward was trying to meet women and acted like a lot of you do? He would go into Whole Foods where a woman wouldn’t respond to him in the way he wants, so he would spend the the next three days thinking about what he should have done or said differently. No way. He’d never approach it that way.
Football players watch themselves on tape. It’s time you watched yourself. It’s time you journaled. It’s time you hold yourself accountable. It’s time to forgive yourself. It’s time to look at your wins and losses. Are you ready to play in the game of life?
Have a great Friday!
Posted in Dave's Faves, Goals & Aspirations, Mindset | 11 Comments »
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