Do you know a surefire sign that your relationship is on the edge, and is going downhill? It’s when you start masturbating again, and actually start enjoying it.
Think about your past relationships at the point they were ending, or at the point when you and your partner were “on the outs.” All of a sudden you get to a point in the relationship where you’re having sex, you’re fighting, and you’re not really connecting.
Then one day you’re angry because you haven’t had enough sex, so you beat off. You think to yourself, “This isn’t bad. I can do this again.” The next time you fight with your partner and have sex, you realize it’s not really working at all. You jerk off again.
Pretty soon you are jerking off a couple of times a week. You start to not care anymore about having sex with your partner. You are able to fight with your partner without any emotion.
You become a lot more mellow because you’re not dying for them. You’re not relying on them sexually. You’re not needing them sexually anymore. You’re just basically alright with wherever you are.
It’s the weirdest thing, but if you think about it there is almost a cycle to masturbation.
When you first meet a woman (or a man), you’re really hot for them — and even have sexual fantasies when you think about them — so you masturbate.
Then you start having sex with that person all the time, and you don’t need to masturbate anymore.
You will masturbate for fun, like if you masturbate together. You show each other how you touch yourself. You turn each other on that way.
Maybe you will masturbate alone if you’re not with your partner for a week. You’ll always tell your partner about it, though, and turn each other on by doing that.
At some point in the relationship, you start masturbating two or three times a week, and are hardly having sex anymore with your partner. You start to think, “What went wrong here?”
What went wrong is that you’re not connecting anymore. What went wrong is that you’re not sexually turned on by that person anymore.
At that point, you realize that it’s not worth it – what you’re going through in that relationship — because you’re not connecting and you’re fighting all the time. Looking at when, how and why you’re masturbating in a relationship is usually an indication of what’s going on in that relationship.
Popularity: 4%
What Do You Think? Vote Now Below! Life ChangingPretty CoolWorth ReadingNothing Special
So you’re dating someone new and they ask you this: “So tell me, how many relationships have you had?” At that point, you’re thinking “Here it comes…” It is almost like the ominous background music from a movie.
You know once someone asks you that question, that they are inevitably going to next ask you what went wrong in those relationships and why you are no longer with those people. When you’re first dating, people love to try and get a bigger picture of you.
They want to form an opinion of you. They like you, but they’re not totally sure about you, so they want to get some more information. They was to get the facts, so they ask you about your past relationships.
One word of advice to everybody who has to answer that question. You can talk about your past relationships all you want, but you had better talk about them in a positive light.
Never say that someone cheated on you. Never play the role of the victim. Always say something like, “I’ve had a few long-term relationships. They’ve all been wonderful. I’ve learned things about myself, and I have to tell you that I really respect the people I’ve dated.”
When you take the high road like that, the detective on the other side of the dinner table isn’t going to pick up anything negative about you. If it looks like you haven’t yet processed your past relationships, they will think you aren’t ready for another relationship.
So the next time someone asks you to tell them about your past relationships, you had better be ready to be 100% positive when you answer the question. If you are, then that person will think that you are someone with whom they could potentially have a relationship. They won’t be worried that if they date you and later breakup, that you will go around trashing them to others.
Popularity: 7%
What Do You Think? Vote Now Below! Life ChangingPretty CoolWorth ReadingNothing Special
How do these things make you feel? How do you feel if someone cheats on you? How do you feel if someone steals your cell phone out of your car? How do you feel if someone slept with somebody else?
We’re getting to the real root of cheaters right now. You’ve been cheated on in the past.
If someone asks you what happened in your past relationship, is your answer something like this: “She was a great girl, but all of a sudden something happened and she started cheating on me. It was ridiculous. I don’t understand why she cheated on me. I did everything for her.”
Immediately, the person you’re saying this to is going to look at you and wonder what made that person cheat on you. When you’re cheated on, it means that there is something that’s not working between the two of you of which you are not aware.
To tell you the truth, I’ve never been cheated on, but I have cheated one time. I know exactly why I cheated on them. It was because the communication in our relationship was dead, over, done. I wasn’t happy anymore.
So if you tell someone on a first, second or third date that you’ve been cheated on, they’re going to really wonder about you. They are going to wonder why you didn’t realize why you were cheated on, and why you aren’t taking responsibility for your part in it.
A lot of people don’t understand that cheating is a two-way street. In order to push someone out the door to cheat, you must be pushing them one way or another.
There’s something that you’ve been doing in that situation. Maybe you were not aware of the person’s needs, wants, and desires. Maybe you wanted more out of the relationship than they did. It could be a number of different things.
So if you’ve been cheated on and someone asks you why that relationship ended, just say “It ended mutually” and leave it at that. As you get to know someone better, you can uncover the depth of your last relationships.
In the first couple of weeks, though, people are judging and looking and evaluating you. It’s not that you want to hide things, but you just want to get to know each other on a fresh face.
You don’t need to tell every negative detail of your past. You don’t need to dump everything about each other in the first few weeks. You want those first few weeks to really bond with each other, to build up the trust, so then you can talk about all that stuff later when you’re in a safe space with each other.
People are still judging in those first few weeks. So the next time someone asks you if you’ve ever been cheated on, just say “You know what? I have been, but it’s no big deal. I learned a lot from that. I really learned that my communication in that relationship wasn’t good and I take full responsibility for it.”
Take the high road in everything. Anytime you take the road of a victim, it means that you don’t know how to communicate properly with anybody else.
Popularity: 8%
What Do You Think? Vote Now Below! Life ChangingPretty CoolWorth ReadingNothing Special
I get asked a lot about how to “properly” break up with someone. Breaking up is really a hard thing to do. I’ve written about this in the past, but I keep getting this question. So maybe I should tackle this subject again.
Breaking up is tough. You could do it like Sylvester Stallone and break up with someone via FedEx.
You can also can sit someone down, look them in the eyes and be 100% honest with about how you feel. You can tell the person exactly how you feel about them — that you love them as a person but that you no longer romantically feeling them anymore. You can tell them that you’re great as friends but not great as lovers.
Honesty is really, really hard for certain people. By being honest, though, you are allowing someone not to live with any doubt or questions, and it allows them to move on. It will of course hurt in that moment, but then that person can start healing and move forward.
Too many people don’t allow someone to heal. By being honest with someone when breaking up, though, you are allowing them to start healing.
So share with me today some of the toughest times you had breaking up with people. I’d love to hear from you guys.
Popularity: 4%
What Do You Think? Vote Now Below! Life ChangingPretty CoolWorth ReadingNothing Special
One thing you notice when you get to the breakup point is that you actually fight less with your partner. You fight less because in your mind and in your heart you start detaching yourself from the other person, and you don’t care as much anymore.
You have already made a determination that they don’t understand you, that they will never understand you and that the relationship just won’t work out with them. So, all of a sudden, the incredible anger that were starting fights decrease.
You start walking away from them. You used to feel like she was busting your balls or like he was riding you and not understanding you. Now the minute you get into a fight, you just walk away from it.
The fact that you are on opposite sides of the bed, which used to bother you and keep you up at night, turns into the natural way things are and you are able to sleep with no problem. You go to your side of the bed, they go to theirs, and you both just go to sleep.
You are not up for four hours every night thinking, wondering, feeling and missing them. You just want to go to sleep.
When it hits this point, i.e., when it hits the breakup point, then you need to face the business of breaking up. You know breaking up sucks, but there is only one good way to do it.
When you think you might have hit that breakup point, you must tell the person that you’re disconnecting from them. You need to be honest and raw.
If you don’t think the relationship is going to work or you know you’ve already disconnected based on how things have been going, then you might want to consider walking away for a week. Spend a week without that person.
Go visit some friends or family. Really think about what life would be like without that person. How would you feel without them being there?
When you’re in the thick of things, they never seem to be able to work out. So take a break. Take a walk. Take a week long walk.
Take that week to ask yourself some questions. What does your life look like without them? Do you like and enjoy the way it feels?
Then, after you’ve taken this time, go back and either take a stand for the relationship or break up. Whichever decision you make, you need to be honest with yourself.
Life is too short! There are a lot of wonderful, amazing people out there whom you can meet.
When you take this time to think, be sure to think about what it was like when you first met this person. How did you feel about them before things got so frustrating? Did you feel like they were your soulmate and the two of you were meant to be? You’ve got to dial back into that.
A friend of mine said to me one time, “Pretend you just got amnesia and all of a sudden someone told you the person with whom you are living (or in a relationship) is the person you are going to marry. You would have none of the bad feelings and none of the fights. What would you do in that situation?” What you would do in that situation is try to get to know that person again without all the anger, fights, frustration and history getting in the way.
So maybe take a week to yourself and then a week with that person. Get to know them again and remember the reasons why you fell in love. If you guys can do that, then you might be able to save your relationship.
Popularity: 6%
What Do You Think? Vote Now Below! Life ChangingPretty CoolWorth ReadingNothing Special
Guys send me questions a lot, asking me how I deal with my ex-girlfriends. My answer? It depends.
The crazy ones I let go into the Universe. I said goodbye.
The ones with whom I had a bond, I absolutely kept the friendship going. I love the friendship I have with some of my ex’s. They were great friends to begin with, and I see no reason to throw a five year friendship out the window just because I am no longer romantically involved with them.
We have talked about this subject before, but I really and truly believe that if you are on good terms when you breakup that you can stay on good terms with them for the long term.
It’s important to stay on good terms with people, because you never know where you’re going to be, to whom you are going to need to reach out, and what you’re going to need. Ex’s are good people, so don’t throw them all out.
Popularity: 5%
What Do You Think? Vote Now Below! Life ChangingPretty CoolWorth ReadingNothing Special
You start walking away from them. You used to feel like she was busting your balls or like he was riding you and not understanding you. Now the minute you get into a fight, you just walk away from it. 
it feels? 
