Do you want to be that guy who walks into a room and women are instantly mesmerized by him? How does that happen? Well, it’s actually very easy!
The first thing to do when you walk into a room is to slow down. A lot of guys will walk into a room very quickly, hustling and making a beeline to the bar or the corner of a room. They somehow feel they need to get there really fast.
What I always tell guys to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever doorway there is, and if there’s not a doorway then you make a doorway around you.
You stop for two to three seconds, and you look around the room. You scan the room — look left, center, right, right, center, left — so you’re looking at the entire room. People naturally are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who is walking in the room.
Not only do you do that, but when you walk in you also make sure you have really good posture. Make sure your shoulders are back and your chest is puffed out. Make sure you’re standing up straight and tall.
Body language is very important. So much of life is based on initial impressions.
So once you walk in a room and you command power (commanding power is standing upright and walking in), then you have to walk through that room slowly. You literally should strut through that room.
Walk through that room at a very slow pace, smile at a woman that you see – make that initial contact. Give her a look directly in her eyes, smile, and ask her “How are you doing tonight?” That’s it.
You can walk away right after you do that, because it is all about how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very strongly — with conviction and with good body language — then she’s going to wonder who you are and will be very intrigued by you.
Next, go directly to your friends (or whoever else you are meeting) and have great body language when you talk to them. People noticed you when you walked into the room. You smiled at the woman and she smiled back at you, and you now have acknowledgment from all of the people who are around you.
When you go to talk to a friend, you make sure that you greet your friend in the same powerful way. Put your hand on his shoulder, shake his hand, look directly in his eyes, and have a very commanding presence.
So not only is body language important, but the speed of your walk is equally important. When you walk into a room slowly, you’re a commanding presence that people will notice. When you walk into a room quickly, you’re hustling into that room so fast that you’re basically just a blur.
You have to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you’ve got to get the walk right too.
Another important thing to remember is the right body language when you’re talking to a woman. When you are talking to a woman, you need to look directly at her. Your body needs to frame her body. This means that if you’re standing there in front of her, you have to face her directly so you’re mirroring each other.
It’s all in the way that you look at somebody. Once again, a strong, powerful man looks directly into someone’s eyes and shows them who the man is in that situation.
If you have any questions about body language, I suggest you go to YouTube and search for Bill Clinton videos. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks.
I know when I’m talking to a room of people, I’m talking to left, center, right. I’m looking directly into people’s eyes to make them feel like I’m connecting with them, which is what people are looking for every time.
Men are extremely visual. Women need to realize that men are extremely visual.
Being visual does not refer to what men find attractive, but rather how they become attracted to women. It means that you need to use your sexuality and your femininity to attract men.
A man will look at a woman many times — five, six, seven, ten, twelve times — and will not stop looking until a woman acknowledges him. A woman who knows and understands this, can easily get a man to approach by acknowledging him. It’s really very simple.
Say you see a man to whom you are attracted. You need to look directly at him and smile. If he notices you, then go back and smile at him again.
When you do this, the man will become very curious and wonder why you’re smiling at him over and over again. You need to encourage him to come over to you.
Understand that men are basically Scooby Doos on steroids. You’re the Scooby Snack, and you need to lay the crumbs down for men.
The crumbs are your smiles. The crumbs are a casual hello. Once a man spots a woman to whom he is attracted, you are able to go and lead him with your femininity and your smile to come over to you.
In order to really learn and understand this at a deeper level, though, you need to be observant about all your surroundings. You have to be able to look around at all your surroundings and know that men are looking at you all the time.
Most women are not observant. Most women walk into a place with their head in the clouds — on their BlackBerry or thinking about what’s on their “to do” list — and never notice men noticing them.
So one of the best things to do to learn how to be more observant is to go out in the field with a friend for a day. Have your friend be your “wing girl” for the day, with her job all day long being just to observe you and to notice all the men who are checking you out.
By doing that, and by having her point all these men out to you, you will see all the opportunities you are missing to meet men every single day. Most women have opportunities to meet men that present themselves all day long, but unfortunately they are almost never looking!
Women have been taught not to look. Men, on the other hand, are looking at women nonstop.
Men never stop looking for women. Men are always looking for women, talking about women and obsessing about women. That is how men are visual. So in order for you to become better at this, you need to learn to be more aware of your surroundings.
When I talk about using your femininity and your sexuality, I am not talking about being “slutty” or overtly coming on to men all day long. I am talking about sexuality and femininity that exudes from within.
For example, women who have a lot of masculine energy need to dress more sexy. Many women end up having very masculine energy about them due their careers. You need to feel sexy as a woman. You need to put yourself out there more. You need to really explore your feminine side.
Take a look at your body type. Take a look at the type of woman you are. Start looking through magazines that have women with similar body types to you in them. See how those women dress sexy. Go to a store and get a makeover. Find a way to express your sexuality and to feel sexy from within yourself.
Men are attracted to all body types and to all types of women. The key thing here, though, is that men are attracted to sexy women of all body types.
So women really need to explore that side of themselves more. Women need to learn to use their feminine energy and start flirting. The Scooby Doos out there will respond when you do.
In order to meet somebody great, you need to create a great lifestyle for yourself. You need to do things you love.
The first thing (and one of the most important things) you need to do, is to evaluate your work environment. You need to be in a healthy work environment, one you love and one that has people in it with whom you enjoy spending time.
Of course there are going to be times at work you don’t enjoy. There’s going to be things you have to do that you don’t like. There are going to be people you need to interact with whom you don’t particularly like. In the grand scheme of things, though, you have to decide which compromises you’re willing to make with yourself.
You may be in a job that doesn’t stimulate you like it used to, but it pays you well enough to allow you to maintain the lifestyle you really enjoy. So you make an agreement with yourself that you’re going to stick with this job because it allows you to do the things you like to do outside of work.
If that job is something you just don’t like anymore then you could move to another company, except you’re afraid to move. If you can make a lateral move where you don’t lose money or seniority, then I suggest you spend some time and energy to do that. It will really improve your life overall.
Lifestyle is something a lot of people don’t fully understand. Lifestyle means doing the things that you love. If you do the things you love to do, you will always have something to talk about with people.
If you’re somebody who does not enjoy going to a bar, then you’re really not going to have things to talk about there. You’re just going to be standing there punching the time clock. You’re basically going to be walking in, handing your time card to the bartender to punch, spending a few hours there, paying your bill and then punching out before you leave. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
So, do things that you love. If you like exploring new neighborhoods, explore new neighborhoods. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s only important that the “it” is something you love.
One of the reasons why creating a lifestyle like this is so important, is that creating a lifestyle makes you more open. You want to be open all the time.
Don’t go places and just “show up.” When you go to places, you want to show up and embrace everything.
You need to smile. You need to talk to people. You need to have random conversations with strangers all day long. That way, when you find someone to whom you are attracted you will have an open energy that will attract them (and get them to come over and approach you!).
The reason why a lot of women don’t get approached and a lot of men aren’t approachable, is because they’ve got a look on their face that says ‘don’t talk to me’ to people. People have that look on their face because they’re not really having fun.
They are not enjoying things. Everything you do, you should do with a child-like enthusiasm.
Go to the supermarket and act like you’ve never before been in there. Look through everything, have a good time and ask questions.
Ask questions of other people in the store. If you see someone getting a brand of yogurt you’ve never tried say, “I’m curious. I’ve never had that. Is it good?” Use those kind of approaches to talk to people everywhere.
Let’s say you’re in a brand new coffee shop and it’s your first time there. Don’t just order a cup of coffee. Ask the person standing in line next to you, “What do you recommend?” Even if you’re the only one in line, ask the guy behind the counter, “Hey, What’s good here?”
Get into a conversation, because people notice open energy. People notice people who are having fun. People notice people to whom other people are talking. It’s called attraction.
The law of attraction works. When you walk into a place and you start talking to a bunch of different people, other people will line up and want to talk to you.
I teach this at my Bootcamps all the time, and the guys see firsthand that it works every time. I remember one time at a Bootcamp we went into Neiman Marcus and started to talk to a woman.
All of a sudden, everyone was watching us and watching this interaction. Everyone was watching her smile. Everyone was watching us smile. When we went into another department, I had the guys do the exact same thing.
So when we came back through again for the second time, people literally started walking up to us and started conversations with us. One woman said, “Wow, you guys are so much fun!”
That is the kind of energy to which people are attracted. People are attracted to people having a good time. No one wants to hang out with a person who’s pouting, folding their arms and looking miserable.
So it’s about creating a lifestyle and being open. Do things that you love, and enjoy and embrace every moment.
By doing that, you will naturally start attracting people. You’ll be more open, so people will start talking to you. Being open will also get you to start talking to more people.
The key here is that when you are more open, people will notice you and will want to be around you. If they want to be around you, they’ll start talking to you.
I would like to introduce all of you to a friend of mine. She wishes to remain anonymous, but I can tell you that she is a sex and dating coach to men and women all over the globe. We’ll call her “The Fiery Redhead.”
Now you all know how I feel about nicknames, so I’ll encourage her to reveal at least her first name soon. I will tell you that she is a woman in her 30’s who lives in Los Angeles, and who thinks that ‘Sex And The City’ doesn’t pertain to Los Angeles (because, really, it’s more like ’sex in the hills’ or ’sex on the beach).
The Fiery Redhead really wants to help men and women meet people, so I’ve offered her the opportunity to be a guest poster on the blog. Plus, I’m sure you guys have to get sick of hearing from just me.
So you will be getting a different perspective from her about every couple weeks. I also thought it would be a cool to have a woman giving her perspective and helping the women and the men.
So let’s welcome our new guest blogger and enjoy her first blog today. It’s a great topic. So, without further ado, here she is…
Hey Guys and Girls,
You know, David asked me to start writing a little guest column because he figured why not have a female opinion every so often. And why not have one who really tells it like it is. That definitely describes me (as you’ll quickly discover).
I’ve got to tell you something. The other day some girl friends and I were sitting around with some guys who were talking all about how to “close” a woman. You will never hear a woman say something like that.
You’ll never hear a woman say, “You know, we went on a boat trip the other day and met some really cute guys. My friend was flirting with one guy, but at the end of the day she ended up going home without closing him.”
No, she didn’t “close” him. She didn’t hook up with him. What is it with you guys having to “close” us? Why do you need to “close” us?
We’re not a door — you don’t need to close us. Really, if you close us it’s actually because we’ve determined that you were cool to hang out with so we want to go and bang you. I mean, that’s really what it comes down to. We make that decision, not you.
I don’t understand it. Why don’t you just learn the way women are? If we like you and enjoy your company, and we give outward signs of that, then you don’t need to close us. You just need to go with the flow.
Why can’t guys just be a little more relaxed and a little cooler about things? You’d get laid so much more if you would just listen to the verbal clues. That’s all for my ranting and raving for this time. I’ll talk to you guys soon!
Okay, thanks again to the Fiery Redhead for this first post! To all of you, enjoy the last weekend of summer, because fall is here as of next week. Also, if any of you would like to know any of my football predictions, be sure to tune into the blog on Sunday. Why? Because I want to and it will be fun.
Now, since it’s the weekend and some of you go out to the bars, I thought this great video will help you out. It’s all about how to walk the walk and talk the talk to be able to successfully approach women in bars.
What I’m doing tonight is the equivalent of all of you getting rid of your approach anxiety forever. It’s the equivalent of a four year old kid waking up on Christmas morning and getting that one present he’s been asking for all year long. It’s the equivalent of a wannabe actor getting to stand outside the red carpet on Academy Awards night.
Tonight is an event for which I’ve planned and done lots of research. It’s something that when it’s over, I want to do it again and again.
My brother and I have been on the phone six or seven times a day preparing for this yearly event. No, it’s not the Wygant family picnic or Daphne’s birthday.
No one is getting married and no one is having a baby. Those events would not even remotely come close to this. This is not a once-in-a-lifetime event like those. This happens yearly (although I know there are people who have babies — and maybe even get married — yearly).
As the clock strikes 5:00 pm PST today, I’ll be sitting at my desk with all my lists compiled, ready to make my first pick in the fantasy football draft. I’m in the 11th hole, so I’ll have to wait about 33 minutes, but I’ll be ready.
So tonight I will on a blog and email hiatus, because in six years of playing fantasy football I’ve made the playoffs five times. So there’s a lot on the line for me!
For those of you who don’t give a shit about fantasy football, let’s talk about how to approach women without waiting for confirmation.
We’re always studying body language and everything else and looking for that confirmation that never comes. Now you can blow the confirmation myth out of the water, and realize that you are in complete and utter control.
It’s just like when people decide to do a weekend Bootcamp. You learn better by being out in the field and doing things (instead of just “studying” things). You’re learning and understanding that the confirmation will never come, which is very powerful. You can have the feeling of actually being free.
If we know that the confirmation will never come, then really, what is stopping us? Think about it in terms of baseball. If you’re a baseball player, you’re always looking for a fastball. Most pitchers know that’s what you’re waiting for, so they’re not going to throw it to you.
So many hitters, though, will just sit there and wait for it. Minor league players do so well because minor league pitchers are just trying to throw heat. You can always hit heat, but those hitters never figure out why they do so well and yet are stuck in the minor league.
So now you know that in life you’ll never get that fastball thrown right in the center of the plate — ever — and if you ever do then congratulations.
It worked out for you, and it was easy. With that in mind, you can go out there and create things for yourself. You can create opportunities for yourself and not care about what she is thinking or doing.
It’s the same mindset you have when you go out there and really learn from doing. If you just do it on a daily basis, it’s going to work . . . plain and simple! Look at the odds. That’s what life is: playing the odds.
Yesterday when I arrived at the security line at LAX, it looked like the opening of a Harry Potter movie. I was thinking to myself, “Why did I fly United again?!” Then I remembered, “Oh yeah . . . it was the only direct flight.”
So because our flight time was getting close, we of course had to be pulled from the line to go through security (along with some others whose flights were also coming up soon). We were on the 11:45 flight.
Of course one woman whose flight was at 11:34, barreled past me breaking Sonja and I up. This other woman says, “Wait! I’m on the 11:24 flight!” and wanted to go ahead of the 11:34 woman, but the 11:34 woman wouldn’t let her go ahead even though the other woman’s flight was before hers.
Did you ever meet someone you just want to kick and shake? That woman was radiating negative energy. I’m sure her purse was filled with Tums, Mylanta, pain medication . . . and maybe some Xanax. She might have even been an emergency Valium woman like my mother.
So I made the flight here to New Orleans, and now I have a job for all of you this weekend. You’re probably thinking, “Wait, I read yesterday’s blog about the job you gave us to reconnect with old friends. You have TWO jobs for us this weekend?” For any of you who need a refresher on yesterday’s blog, CLICK HERE.
For those of you who are regular readers, you know I have limited experience with children. I’ve even called them “little aliens” from time to time, even though they’re really just little people.
I learned some things watching little Ashlyn here. It’s amazing how uninhibited a 2½ year old’s body language and emotions are. You know exactly when a kid wants to talk to you, play with you, communicate something to you . . . and you know when they think you’re a creep.
They are either naturally approachable or naturally unapproachable — like pitbulls. They are based on natural body language intuition, and are without fears and doubts.
So your job, Ethan Hunt . . . oh, wait this isn’t Mission: Impossible . . . is to go find some little kids this weekend and watch them. Go to a Chuck E. Cheese or a park and just enjoy yourself. Don’t go dressed in trenchcoat looking like a creep, and just enjoy the day.
I want you to go back to your more innocent days when you were more open about meeting people. The way to do that is to be open about body language, dynamics and from where the smile comes.
For those of you who think you’re above this, you don’t get the point of this. For those of you who think this is silly, you can be like Kristen’s cats and just hide in your room. People can be so much like cats — you take a cat out of it’s environment to a new place, and it freaks out for weeks and hides in corners in a room.
What would you rather be like? Think about it. Would you rather look at the world and the beauty that it is? Or, would you rather be like Kristen’s cats, Captain Jack and Hercules, scared of the living room? Would you rather be screaming with enjoyment, or screaming with fear?
Here’s a quote I just heard that fits perfectly into today’s blog and is a good ending to it: “You know if you hide from your fears, they don’t go away. They get bigger and they get worse. The only way to get rid of them is to face them.”
I’ve received a lot of emails from women lately wondering “Is this man sitting across from me attracted to me?” There are a few ways to know if a man is attracted to you.
1) He’s going to be leaning into you as you talk. 2) His eyes are going to be fixated on you. 3) When you get up from the table and walk to the bathroom, turn around really quickly . . . If he’s attracted to you, he will be checking out your ass as you’re walking away from him. And yes you can catch him and throw a smile back at him by using the quick turn around. 4) He will start talking about sex at some point during the course of the evening. If a man is attracted to a woman, he will not be able to resist talking about sex with her. 5) He will reach over and touch you once or twice, maybe on the arm, just to see if you’re going to react back to him. 6) Another thing he’ll be saying is he’ll be saying “we” a lot . . . He’ll be saying “we need to do this” and “we need to do that.” He’s trying to get information out of you to see if he and you are going to become a “we.”
Men are like Scooby Doo . . . They need to be rewarded. In another blog we’ll show you how to take the attraction further.
These are some clues to know if a man is attracted to you. Here’s one last clue. If he doesn’t stop looking at you the entire night . . . if he doesn’t check out any other women around the room the entire night — then you’ve got him hooked!
OK Ladies now its your turn. Its time you shared all of your attraction secrets with the men of this blog.
What do you do when you are oozing with attraction on a date with a man?
What are some of the clues that you want to be kissed?
What are some of the things you might say to tell him that you want him in your bed that night?
Have fun with this one…I know the men will love to hear all about this.
All women want to have sex with the man they’ve read about in the romance novels. Women are turned on by powerful, confident, self-assured men. If you want to learn about women, instead of looking at pictures on an online dating site and mass emailing them with some generic email, why don’t you read through what turns them on? If you actually spent time reading what turns them on, you would actually become that man. Not one woman online is looking for a soft, wimpy, wussy man.
They are looking for a man that creates passion and desire in them. So how does a guy do this? And can any guy do this? The answer is yes, if you actually take the time to understand women and take the time to connect with them. When a guy is confident and is able to stimulate a woman’s mind and connect with her, he’ll be in total control and she’ll be totally turned on by him.
So what is the key to getting a woman totally connected and turned on to you? . . . it’s to open your ears and listen!
Most men don’t listen. Most men buy into all the garbage that’s available on the internet of the so-called “pick up strategies” and think there’s some magic thing to say in every situation to meet a woman. You know what the magic thing to say is? Sometimes nothing. Sometimes when you listen to a woman carefully, and when I say carefully I mean listening to what she has to say and reacting to what she has to say. Because when you listen to what she has to say, she will open up to you and become more attracted to you as the minutes pass. She doesn’t want to hear about the amount of money you make, or the new car you bought, or how good you are at XBox. All she wants you to do is listen and connect with her mind. If you connect with her mind, she will give you her body. The best sex you’ll ever have is not when you’ve convinced her to have sex with you, it’s when you’ve connected with her mind and it’s her idea. If the sex is her idea, she’ll give you the best sex you’ve had in months.
So how do you turn her on? Well, don’t be a wimp and ask her to hang out with you. Tell her where to meet you . . . and make it somewhere interesting. Don’t just make a boring reservation at a restaurant. Challenge her to a game of pool – the winner get’s a great massage. Challenge her . . . be gutsy. Most men are so soft on this issue, and that’s why they get flaked on over and over again. Because they did not take control. Women will drop hints over and over again so you take control. Recently I was IM’ing this woman, and she said to me “It’s been so long since I’ve had great sex.” Most men would change the subject or not know what to do. I said “Well, let’s make it happen. What is great sex to you?” And we proceeded to talk about sex for the next 25 minutes, and she gave me the roadmap to having great sex with her. All I had to do is get in the car and drive. When they drop hints, you need to be the alpha male. You have to have the balls to ask her what she’s really thinking. You can’t play it safe. Most women don’t get turned on mentally or physically by safe.
They want sex as much, if not more, than you. It’s time you learned how to be the alpha male so you can be enjoying real connections with women every single day.
However, it’s late . . . we’ll talk more about this in a podcast.
