They are in constant bliss.

Everything is a joy.

I was walking along the beach earlier, looking around.

I saw these kids build this amazing sand castle. They were having so much fun.  I just wanted to jump right in and play with them.

(The problem is, their parents would’ve probably thought that I’m some really creepy, weird guy wanting to jump into a sandbox and play with their kids.)

The waves were really high and they would come up very close to where I was walking. In front of me, little kids were jumping in and out of the water and screaming their heads off in happiness.

Later, I went to the mall to grab a bite to eat.  A small group of children were staring in deep amazement at a fountain. Their eyes would follow the water as it shot up in rhythmic spurts. They were transfixed––totally caught up in the beauty of the moment.

Isn’t it time that we learned from these little guys? We should all work to become an adult kid.

Just have fun.  Look at the waves like you’ve never seen them before.  Look at a fountain like you’ve never seen it before.  Dig a hole in the beach and just have fun.

I remembered a boot camp that I had in LA years ago.  One of the exercises was to dig a sand castle and then go down the beach and find women to come and evaluate it. Advanced steps were to then get the women to come and actually help build. You’d be surprised at how many of them joined in!

It’s about being childlike and enjoying life.

Who would you rather be around: somebody having fun or somebody standing in the corner with their arms folded?

Life is too short to be miserable.

Dig a hole in the beach.  Stare at a fountain.  Jump in the waves and become a kid again and you’ll start to see how many more people you attract in your life.

We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Pretty wise words right?

Well, I didn’t say them, Aristotle did––and he’s got a point.

If you want to get good at something, you have to do it often. You have to do it so often that it becomes a part of you. Then you no longer have to try.

Creating attraction with hot women is approached the same way:

Create attraction with all women, all the time.

Find about more about that in the video below:

. . .

Have you made talking to all women a habit yet?

Are you ready to become excellent?

Are you sure?

I’m not even talking about potential mates…

…just people in general.

Watch this quick video, drop your fears, and get juiced about meeting people and having fun!

. . .

What are you up to today?

I was watching the football game the other night with some friends.  We got some food afterward and it got late.  My friend Jason ended up dropping us off at the corner of a busy intersection.  I got out of the car and stood on the street corner waiting to cross.

The light changed and I began to cross, with this woman walking ahead of me. She had on tiny little, itty-bitty shorts, hiked up as far as they possibly can go.  It almost looked like she was wearing dental floss—got to love South Beach—and a tank top on.

I was walking slowly and enjoying the night, a good distance behind her.  She went down the block and made a left turn. Then I made a left turn.  She looked back once with a look of panic and fear in her eyes.  I could have passed her to help alleviate the fear, but there was no need because I was walking slowly. I realized how trained her brain is trained to think that if she’s walking alone at night and a man is following her—the guy is a stalker.

It was interesting, because I actually got into the mind of a woman at that moment and I realized that it’s a scary thing.  There’s a man walking behind her.  She has no idea what this man is going to do.  And it’s sad that we live in a world like that, where women will actually have to feel that fear.

The reason why this happens is because so many men stare at women and don’t say anything.  They stare at them at a bar and don’t say a word and creep them out.  They walk down the street and actually do follow them, trying to figure out what to say, and they don’t say anything at all.  They stare at women at the gym and don’t say a word.

So the reason why this woman was all spooked was because of what all the guys do to her over and over and over again.  And I got really deep inside her head, and I thought to myself, “I’d be spooked too, if men would follow me around like that most of the time and not say anything.”

She finally stopped to answer her cell phone and I walked by her.  I walked by her, walked to the building, and walked in.  I turned around and I noticed her see me walk in the building and there was a look of relief on her face.  I actually was not following her.

So you guys have to realize that when you’re staring at a women, maybe following her down the street, whatever it might be, if you don’t say anything in a reasonable amount of time—you may freak her out.

You really should spend some more time approaching and learning how to approach women. Just take advantage of real opportunities instead of being so consumed with women on the street or a bar, or wherever it might be.  This is a great lesson and I want all of you think about that.  I want you all to realize that you have the power to stop this.

Years ago, I was vacationing in Boulder, Colorado. One day, after a two-hour massage, I went to Whole Foods for some dinner. As I was walking out, I passed by a gorgeous woman and we had one of those moments. (You know those moments that happen when a woman stares at you and you stare at her at the same time and an extreme sexual chemistry builds up that you can feel? It was one of those.) I smiled at her, she smiled at me, and I continued to my car, ready to leave.

I remember that night like it was yesterday. I got into my car. I started my engine. I backed out, collected myself, and then pulled back into the spot. I looked at my golden retriever Jessie and I said to her, “Be a good girl. I’ll be back in a little while.”

I walked into that market and I walked directly over to that woman and I looked at her and I said, “Excuse me, I must be the biggest fool in the entire world. But I was about to leave just now, and you know what? How many times have I looked and smiled at somebody and continued on and didn’t stop to experience them as a person, or what could have happened between us. I’m not going to do that again.”

We talked for what seemed like ever; we were honest with one another; we went out for coffee until 4:00 in the morning; we had some breakfast; we talked some more. We had unbelievable chemistry.

A couple nights later, she came to my house and we made a barbecue. We got undressed—basically in our little underwear, just like little kids—and we snuggled all night long. All night long we were cozy in bed, spooning, holding on to one another. I never slept with this woman at all, and I was never meant to sleep with her.

What this lesson taught me was that something feels so out of the ordinary, that’s when you go for it. Because what we do, and as people, we constantly go for what we’re accustomed to. That’s why we end up dating the same people over and over again. That’s why we have the same relationships over and over again.

So the next time you feel this intense attraction, you immediately go for it. You speak it. You say you could be on a date and you can look at somebody and just say, “God, you’re hot.” And that’s something you would never say. But say it anyway and see what happens.

Watch how your world changes when you say the things that you never said before, and do the things you haven’t done. Watch how your relationships change and watch your experience change.

And watch how you blossom as a person.

You know what she’s thinking?  She’s wondering, “Why doesn’t he talk to me? Why does he stare at me?  Why is he constantly looking at me but never saying a word?  Is he mute? Is he terrified?  Does he speak Russian and not speak a word of English?”

Here’s what funny: every morning I wake up and I walk for a few miles and I see the same woman every single day.  I look at her, sometimes I smile, and sometimes I don’t.  

So today, I looked at her and said hello, and she looks at me—eyes light up, face lights up—and she says “Hi,” like it was a relief that I finally talked to her.  I mean, come on guys, stop trying to always think about what to say and just say, “Good morning. Hello.”

If you see somebody over and over again the best conversation starter is not the most clever thing you can think of, it’s just a simple “Hey, Hi, Good morning, I’m a normal human being.  I know how to say good morning. It’s one of the first things I learned when I watched Sesame Street when I was a kid.”

Don’t overcomplicate it.  Make it simple. And if you make it simple, you’ll start building up your confidence and your social network.  “Good morning” leads to “Hey, how are you doing today?” or “I see you all the time walking.” It leads to a conversation the next time.

So stop appearing to be this neurotic freak that scares her because you never talk to her and just stare at her, and start being the human being.

It’s that simple.

Hey Shogo,

I’ve been practicing what I’ve learned from you—using conversation skills, observations, etc—and I’ve become good at starting casual conversations in a very non-threatening manner.  But from the reactions I get with women, I sense that I am giving off more a friendly vibe as opposed to a sexual vibe. I’m not trying to make a girl wet on the spot, I just don’t want to give the impression that I’m looking for a friend.  I frequently gave a big friendly smile when striking up these conversations and I get a good reception, but I feel like a big puppy dog and I can feel the lack of sexual tension.  So how can I use my smile, body language, tone, mindset, etc. to demonstrate my (not-so-friendly) intentions when approaching women? Thanks Shogo!

Jason, Grand Rapids, MI

Hey Jason,

I can tell from your first sentence what your issue is.  You’re too concerned about approaching women in a very nonthreatening manner.  That’s really what so-called “approach anxiety” is all about when it comes down to it.  It’s not wanting to come across as a threat, not wanting to disturb the person you’re talking to, and not wanting to be seen as a jerk or a pervert.

The irony is that almost every single guy who is worried about being too threatening or coming across as a jerk is almost never threatening or a jerk.  What happens is that you suppress yourself so much in your conversations with women that all you’re really doing is suppressing your sexual edge.

Hiiiiii! It's Me!

Now that doesn’t mean that you have to read a seduction book and infuse sexual words in your conversations or try to make a woman think sexual thoughts by touching her or sending subliminal messaging or whatever.  That is creepy.  And perverted.

The woman you’re talking to is either going to think sexual thoughts about you or she is not.  You can’t change chemistry and you can’t change the way a woman imagines you.  But you can change the way that you think and the way that you feel about yourself, so that when you come across the right woman down the road who senses your energy, sparks will fly and she will get turned on by you.

What you want to do is start conversations in a very casual manner, not in a nonthreatening manner.  Forget about trying to be nonthreatening.  Jason, I’ve talked to you on the phone, you already are a nonthreatening guy.  You have a great vibe and a friendly demeanor.  The problem is that you are most likely afraid of confrontation, and that’s where your edge comes from.

Now this is a big topic, but I’ll touch on it briefly.

You need to develop that sexual edge.  Stand your ground.  Don’t be afraid of coming across a little offensive.  Don’t be afraid of being abrasive.  Don’t be afraid of expressing what you are really thinking during the conversation.  She’s a big girl, she can handle it.  The more you start letting your sexual thoughts out, the more you will start owning your own sexuality and you won’t be letting your penis control every decision you make.

The big puppy dog smile is ok, as long as you’re being real.  But the puppy dog smile is not ok when you’re doing it to mask what’s playing out behind the scenes.

What is happening is that you’re too wrapped up in coming across as nonthreatening that you’ve completely forgotten about saying what is really on your mind.  We’re all a little dirty, we’re all a little perverted in our own minds.  Men and women both.  Be comfortable with it.  Let those thoughts dance around in your head for a little bit, then let them out.  That way, when the time is right you’re going to turn that Golden Retriever puppy smile into the sly Doberman that’s never had a trip to the vet smile.

It’s all in your mindset–body language, smile, tone, all that will follow–but you have to change your mindset first and foremost or you will come across as very contrived and pick-uppy.

They had good pedigree. They were successful and age appropriate. They were good-looking. They followed up with phone calls. Then all of a sudden—poof—they just vanished.

You’re in shock. You can’t believe that this one went away. You felt like it was the perfect kind of a relationship. You really felt like you were ready for it. You really needed this relationship because you were so tired of dating. You were tired of putting yourself online and having nothing happen. You were tired of going to the parties and heading out to the same bars and restaurants. You felt like this was the one.

Here’s the deal: everything that you’ve ever known about dating is wrong. During those three weeks you never kept a dating journal. See, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect do not exist. What we do when we date is we get caught up in what I call the oxytocin moment. We get caught up in this wave of emotion, like a drug is released in our bodies.

It feels so good to be rescued from being single. But in reality, the warning signs are there from the beginning. I tell everybody in my very new book, Naked, to keep a dating journal, and write down how you feel at the end of each date. How does this person make you feel? Do you feel desired? Do you feel excited? Take it even deeper. Do you keep a journal where you know exactly the way you need to feel in a relationship?

My new book Naked goes really deep into dating. It gets you to fall in love with the most important person in your life: you. Because when it comes down to dating, most of us date based on needs. I need to have a relationship. I need to no longer be single. I need to find somebody different because the last person didn’t treat me well.

What Naked does is it takes everything down to the root and allows you to forgive everything that’s gone on in your life and allows you to embrace all the lessons you’ve learned. But more importantly, it gets you to fall in love with who you are as a person. It allows you to realize that you’re an amazing catch.

Naked is almost 200 pages of daily exercises that help you no longer date out of need, out of frustration, or out of desperation. When it comes to love, in order to find someone to love you the way you need to be loved, you need to love yourself first. You need to take yourself out on dates. You need to do things for yourself. You need to feel amazing and wonderful and you need to strip yourself down of all your fears and become naked. You need to forget about past failures and learn from them.

But more importantly, you need to know exactly what you want going into that date, emotionally. Because when it comes down to dating, all it is is based on feelings. How did you feel at the end of a date? Most of us have never asked that question, because we always date based on wants, needs, and desires.

It’s time to change the way you date. It’s time to get naked.

Today I want to talk to you about something that a lot of guys already know on the inside, but they forget when they’re out in public or they’re in the presence of a woman they’re attracted to.

It’s something that I talk about a lot—it’s the fact that you have to have fun whatever it is that you’re doing.  And if you’re in a situation that you feel uncomfortable in, either find a way to make it fun for yourself or stop doing that and go do something that you actually enjoy doing.

Ditch your friends if you have to.  If you’ve been going downtown to the clubs, but on the inside you actually feel like the artsy hipster girl is a better fit for you than the dolled-up high heels girl, start hanging out with the artsy hipster crowd.

The internet is so full of information about this and that.  I was watching a video this morning that revealed 10 secret places to touch a woman when you’re on a first date.  What?  10 places?    What is this, the game “Operation”?

When I’m on a date, I hold a woman’s hand during the date, and then I kiss her on the lips at the end of the date.  That’s it.

It’s funny how quickly we forget about the basics.  Going out and meeting women is not that difficult.  Going on a date and engaging the woman you’re out with in great conversation is not that difficult.

So why can’t so many guys do it?  It’s because they’re not having fun.  They’re not engaged in the conversation at hand.  They’re thinking about whether or not they bought the right Axe body spray out of the 38 varieties on the shelf.  They’re thinking about whether they’ve touched the girl on secret place #6 yet.  They’re trying way too hard and they’re just not being themselves.  And the most frustrating part about it is that most guys are actually aware that the only thing holding them back is themselves.

So what do you do?  How do you solve this?

You tell yourself that you’re going to enjoy yourself no matter what.  You don’t worry about making the best impression possible.  You don’t worry about getting laid.  Don’t even think about trying to get laid.  You’ll get there eventually.

Go out to a place you like to go out to.  Smile at everyone.  Wink at the hot ones.  Eat what you like.  Wear what you like.  Talk about what you like to talk about.  Tell jokes that you like.  Laugh when you feel like laughing.   If something goes a little awry…laugh at that, too.

And why do you do it this way?  Because the #1 key to attracting a beautiful woman is by being yourself, and I truly believe that it’s impossible to simultaneously have fun and not be yourself.

When you’re out this weekend, I want you to feel like this guy:

If you’re feeling a little uptight, play this on your phone.  Forget about other people looking at you.  Stop behaving the way you think others want you to behave.  The reality is that nobody is really looking at you and nobody really cares about how you behave.  Let loose.  Have a drink, for chrissakes.  Approach the entire situation like you’re having a blast, like you’re just having the time of your life.  That’s what makes you an attractive personality, and that’s what’s going to make women want to be with you.

Remember that this whole thing is not that complicated.  The weekend is here for you to enjoy, so go out and have fun!