I get asked a lot about how am I so good at being impromptu with strangers. People ask me how I am able to so easily and effortlessly communicate with people, and how I am able to take a simple observation and turn it into a conversation.
My response is this: It’s very easy, because I am not censored. I don’t censor myself.
I basically see something and I walk right over to it. It’s almost like when you were a little kid and you first learned how to catch a ball.
Your dad would be standing there, you would be standing there holding out the glove. Your dad would wind up, and your legs would be shaking as the ball came toward you.
What would you do? You would essentially put the mitt out in front of the ball to try and catch it, or you would cover your face and let the ball hit you in the head (depending on your athletic ability).
In reality, though, all you had to do was allow yourself to react to each pitch as it came toward you. That’s the same thing you have to do with conversation situations.
All I do is allow myself to react to every single situation. I don’t monitor myself. I don’t censor myself. When I see something, I react to it and it comes across as being very genuine.
The problem with most guys is that they’re always over-thinking, trying to figure out what to say or how to say it. By doing that, it never comes across as natural.
You can’t stand there for five or ten minutes before finally spitting out what you hope is the “right thing” to say. It’s so awkward. There is so much apprehension because you spent so much time trying to figure out what the right thing to say is.
There is no right thing to say. It’s the way you own the words and the way you speak. It’s the way you come across.
You can say anything, as long as you say it right away and you say it with authority. When you do that, you are going to command attention. It’s just the way it is.
If you want to really learn this, one of the best things to do is go to any city and look at homeless people. Look at the ones who get attention and who get money. They are the ones who go to people and say, “Hey, you look like you’re having a great day today.” Watch homeless people and learn from them.
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You never, ever want to be a “background guy.” Do you ever walk into a store or into a party, and your friend is always the lead guy?
Your friend start talking to some people or to a woman, and there you are in the background. That leaves you hovering ten or fifteen feet away from the conversation.
You don’t join in the conversation because your ego won’t let you do it. You say to yourself, “Well my buddy is talking to first and I didn’t get to talk to her, so I am just going to stand in the background and look like a deaf mute.”
You don’t want to ever be ‘background guy.’ If your buddy walks over and starts talking to one person or to a group, then you go and hang out with him.
Just because you’re not talking or didn’t make the first approach, doesn’t mean that you can’t be actively listening to the conversation. When you actively listen to a conversation, you can join in when something intrigues you.
If you’re in the background, though, you don’t hear any of that conversation. So there is no way for you to easily join in that conversation at any point because you are a ‘background guy.’
Don’t ever be a ‘background guy,’ because background guys are forgotten. You literally are the background, like when you look at a scene in a movie with tons of extras in the background.
Those extras never get to speak. Do you know why? It’s because they are just background people.
There is no need for this to be you. So don’t ever be ‘background guy.’
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Your penis does the least amount of thinking. I was on the phone with a client of mine, and we were talking about how many guys are totally about validation. When they walk over to a woman, all they are thinking about is whether she will like them.
In reality, what is going on in that situation is that your penis is talking to you. It is saying, “Hey, Mr. Big Head up there. Yeah, you between the shoulders. Mr. Penis here. Listen, man, I think this girl is really hot and really want to get into her. So try not to f^*k it up this time. Please don’t say the wrong thing, because I really want to hit that vagina tonight. Please don’t f^*k it up and say that stupid thing you said last time you approached a woman. Play it safe this time.”
This is what your penis is doing. Your penis is controlling your head. If it wasn’t, then your head would be thinking “I’m a cool guy. Man, I’m awesome. I’m great. There is a pretty girl over there, but who cares? There are tons of pretty girls in the world. I’m just looking for the one I can really connect with who really gets me. Let me go over and talk to her and see what she’s all about. Let’s see if I even like her at all. I’ll ask her out for a cup of coffee and get to know her a little bit.”
That is what the rational mind would be saying. The problem, however, is that we are so driven by what’s inside our pants. We are so driven by Mr. Penis. Since Mr. Penis doesn’t understand anything rational, he gives his power away every single time.
So the next time you see a good-looking woman, stop looking for validation. Stop listening to Mr. Penis. When you do that, you will realize that you are an amazing person.
This is exactly what I did so that my penis never controlled how successful my approaches were. CLICK HERE to listen to me go through it step-by-step.
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So try not to f^*k it up this time. Please don’t say the wrong thing, because I really want to hit that vagina tonight. Please don’t f^*k it up and say that stupid thing you said last time you approached a woman. Play it safe this time.” 
