Comments on: Can A Long Distance Relationship Really Work?

By: mashon

mashon — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 17:31:45 +0000

right now i am away at college, and i am 3 hours away from my boyfriend, who is still a senior in high school. lately i have become annoyed with him and keep picking fights with him for no reason. im not sure if i want us to break up though, we have only been dating 4 months and i met another guy but i havent cheated. i think that if we broke up id miss him, but at the same time i might want to give it a shot with this other guy

advice?
thanks

By: Megan

Megan — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 12:36:09 +0000

Okay, met a girl on three ocassions when she was in my city. Attracted physically to her as 6/10 and mentally as a 10/10. Keep in contact through instant messaging every night for half an hour and phone calls ocassionally. Want her to move to my city and in with me when we both graduate high school next year. Still have a year to go. Does anyone think this relationship will work out? especially when we will be living to together, going to uni and working??

By: Markus

Markus — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 01:15:34 +0000

Collin I agree that long distance relationships need a strong base, having spent some time together. But in general it’s difficult.

I have had two quite long-lasting LDR’s (Long Distance Relationship; sounds good huh?) and they both didn’t work out in the long run. One of them was even across continents. Now that is just hard to handle on a day-to-day basis. And we both nearly died everytime we had to go our separate ways after seeing us for a few days.

I don’t do LDR’s anymore. Just because I don’t want all the hassle and pain involved. I want a relationship to be fun everyday, and I love to spend quality time with the person i’m in love with. And this is only possible face to face.

By: Joseph

Joseph — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 04:33:43 +0000

I did distance relationships for a bit, one lasted almsot two years. It was a wonderful chance for the person I was at the time (young, inexperienced and unable to hold down a local girlfriend for over a month) to have things bumped down to slow motion and learn about the foundations of the dating world and myself. I found that after a time I naturally started to gravitate into the real dating world and I wouldn’t trade it for anything… like most any less than ideal situation distance dating can be used as a tool for self discovery and improvement. I have heard of distance relationships working however one factor is key: There must be a mutual drive to have a long term relationship and meet asap, a date must be set as soon as possible… only then does it have a chance of success… also watch out for falling into the trap of distance dating and getting stuck there, not growing yourself and not being truly happy. One of the comments above on the excuses distance dating can be used for was bang on!

-Joseph

By: dierock

dierock — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 21:27:18 +0000

hmmm… i met someone really great online. i only wanted to say hi, and somehow we turned out to be soulmates. she lives in dixie, i live a bit more south of the border. hopefully, we’ll meet soon. bringing her into 3-D reality would be better than winning the lottery.

By: Chelsea

Chelsea — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:11:32 +0000

I enjoyed the post! I have been looking for a serious relationship on the internet for awhile now and have finally found a long distance one! Yours is one of my favorites!

By: Chris

Chris — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:06:44 +0000

Another useful bit of dating advise is to manage your expectations. If you expect too much out of one date, or of the person you are dating, it’s likely that you will be discouraged by the results.

By: Cathy J

Cathy J — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 07:22:44 +0000

Well although I agree with you guys in general….

It can be done.

In fact I have given a chapter of my new book ‘Cost of Dating: The Real Cost and How to Turn These Costs into Investments’ (due out any day now) over to a particular testimonial from one of my ex-students who met her partner on FB. They are coming up to their 1 year defacto anniversary after living on opposite sides of the country when they met.

I know of a few other examples, where for extended periods people have lived in different countries, and these are all from different age groups – late teens, late 30′s, early 40′s and 60′s/70′s!!!

Extremely difficult at times … however perhaps we all need a few obstacles in our way to make the relationship worth fighting for….

By: Collin

Collin — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 06:19:18 +0000

I think it can only work if it is already long-term before it becomes long-distance, and only if there is a definite date that it goes back to being local. I’ve seen plenty of friends study abroad for a semester and maintain a relationship back in America. Both sides know it’s only for 4 months, and they had been together for a while beforehand. Oh, and Skype helps.

Trying to keep something going with a girlfriend in Detroit while I was in Atlanta, and we could only see each other once a month? That was a disaster. The sex was amazing though…

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 04:26:53 +0000

I think the ones that stem from vacations, etc are indeed fantasies. They can be fun for a while, but there are too many reality obstacles in the way to make them work beyond a traveling booty call.

I view a lot of long distance relationships as defense mechanisms. There are obviously exceptions to this, but a lot times it seems people hold onto these long distance relationships to ward off other potential dates,to conveniently avoid the “tough” dating world, or because the participant(s) are in denial that any relationship that ever existed is over. Actually there are many potential reasons: fear of true connection with someone locally; to boost self esteem by fooling yourself that you’re in a meaningful, lasting relationship; because you feel others expect you to be in a relationship; not sure how to function in a “real” relationship; you crave the attention of having people ask you about your partner (who barely exists); you get the esteem boost by turning down weekend plans because you’re traveling to wherever to meet your partner; you get the esteem boost to brag about jetting to wherever to be with your prince/princess charming. Whatever the reason and whatever our intentions, long distance relationships are tough.

There are so many potentially suitable partners out there. He/she could be right down the road. Let’s meet them!