Bring Them Back
February 15, 2009 
17 Comments
A quick blog today. I am a bit slow moving on Sunday!! Had a an amazing dinner last night and slept in late. A perfect Sunday morning!
Whenever you talk to someone, you need to come away from that conversation with some personal information about them.
Ask yourself after each conversation, “What personal thing did I find out about this person?”
If your memory needs work, try using a digital recorder or start writing down what you remember. I tell this to guys all the time.
The fact is that the more you remember about people, the greater your chance is to bond with them in the future.
So after you talk to anyone, ask yourself, “What did I discover about this individual personally? What did I learn?” This also trains your brain to think in this way, and it helps improve your memory.
Next time you run into that person (which you will!), you can start the conversation with something personal you learned the last time you both met.
For instance, we were just talking to some women who were trying to raise money for the homeless shelter. In a few weeks I might run into one of them again and say, “Oh, I saw you a few weeks ago outside Whole Foods. Have you reached your fundraising goal yet?”
It’s really important for you to remember things like that. Without a personal takeaway, you have no way of following up with someone that you want to speak to again!
Great advice David! This is one of the first things I learned about on how to build an emotional connection with another individual. Very important stuff.
I have started to use this great notebook called livescribe the pen that goes with it is also a scanner and a voice recorder. I know I tend to forget fast or suddently thoughts comes to me that I think would be great and then I can just record it if I am in the car. I tend to forget, but then out of the blue it just comes to me and this little nifty tool is just short of amazing. Those little connections are great because you already have the “opener” for the next time you see them. So true, and when people do that to me it makes me feel special and appreciated and right there you just created a stronger bond.
You a geek, Marina?
J-Dude
I scare my self sometimes:-)
I myself have started a journal of special things that have happened in life. In it has my personal thoughts of the situation that I am in. I call it My Dearest Diary. When a thought or poem comes to mind I would like to write it down but after work and I come home I have a tendency to forget.
J Dude
Are you being yourself again?
Sandra-
I have a smile every time U and Marina R around…
Does david wygant really answer every email we sent to him? i don’t think he got the time to read? LOL
Kelvin
This is actually my biggest hurdle at the moment
I know how important it is, just keeping things like first names/nicknames, a little bit of info, to build a relationship, is a little hard for me (not being sober doesnt particuarly help).
A question about this in light of a recent conversation with a hairdresser(I guess that’s the correct term for all female barbers). I was getting a haircut recently at SmartCuts and talking to the girl cutting my hair when she mentioned she had lost her dog. It went missing the day before and never came home as it always had. She mentioned that she & her bf went out looking for him, but never found him.
Now this is not about scoring points if you will cause she does have a bf. My question David, Kim, Sandra, Marina or anyone is should I ask the next time I go back for another cut? The obvious answer might be Yes, but what if they still haven’t found the dog a month later? Suppose its too emotional for her. I don’t want to cause her pain by asking about something that might be too saddening for her and cause a real downer. It may show i care, but it may make her sad and ruin her day just thinking about it again.
Bringing people back is like telling s childhood story… there’s always that slight gentle smile on their face as you see them look up to remember how it felt
Tony
I don’t see any problems in you bringing it up next time. She share and you will share back by asking her if she found her dog. If you or a family member has had a dog they lost then you can share that story showing that you understand what she went through. Just be sincere and don’t make anything up.
“Just be sincere and don’t make anything up.”
Wasn’t going to make anything up.
Tony888
When one of my friends even male friends that I have not seen in awhile I will ask someone how is so and so. But in the case of the missing dog just ask her have they found him yet and you will keep an eye out for it. If they have any pics up looking for it. I live in the country and when someone loses a dog they will put up poster looking for it and describing the dog and what they answer to. Hope they find it. Also that shows you are concerned and don’t feel like you are intruding you are doing this as a friend.
Sandra,
Yeah, I asked her if they had posted any pics of him around the neighborhood and said I’d keep an eye out for him. Haven’t seen him though.
Tony
I was not sure if she did and what was said. We are on two separate computers.