So, yesterday I had to go find last minute airfare to take care of some personal business down in New Orleans. I first went online, only to discover that it would cost me $700.00 per ticket roundtrip from Los Angeles.
Then I tried to get one of the Southwest vouchers. The problem is that they only allow a certain number of people per flight to use a voucher, and I missed being allowed on one flight I needed to get another flight, so I couldn’t work that out.
Then I called up American Airlines, and American told me we’ve got award travel miles (12,500 for one way and 25,000 the other way) available so the ticket would cost an additional $100.00. If two people fly, though, you can get it for $120.00 but only if it comes out of one mileage account. If it comes out of two separate mileage accounts, then it costs $200.00.
So then I called up United Airlines, which was the best one so far. They could get us there using 25,000 airline miles, except that we were short some miles in my account. So I asked if I could transfer some miles into my account (which they could), but they said the transfer takes 48 hours and I needed to be on the flight before then.
Since I was already on the phone with them and they could see on their computer screen that the miles I wanted transferred were there, I asked if they could just do the transfer right then and there so we could get the tickets. They said no, they couldn’t do it because the 48 hour thing is a rule.
It’s unbelievable the amount of rules that are out there. People are robots. Nobody can break a rule . . . or even alter a rule.
Last night we went out to dinner to talk about this wonderful day spent finding airfare. We were at a sushi restaurant, and I wanted one piece of uni. At this restaurant, uni comes two to an order for $8.00. I asked if I could order just one piece of uni, and the waiter said no (because they only serve it in orders of two).
So, basically, the restaurant didn’t want to make $4.00, and they didn’t want to split the order up because it would break the rules. I talked to the manager to see if he would be willing to break the rules, but he said he wouldn’t break the rule because it’s a rule and he had to obey the rule.
People are such robots. Nobody can ever bend a rule even a little bit. I know the airlines have to have certain rules, but the problem is that they have so many different rules — and the rules change so often — that no one can figure out what all the rules are.
Can you bring on carry-on luggage or can you not bring on carry-on luggage? Now, all of a sudden, you have to pay to check your luggage. Because of that, everybody’s trying to just have carry-on luggage (leaving no overhead space on the plane).
The “rules” say that the plane should have a certain amount of overhead space per person, but most people put their suitcases up there with the wheels sideways so only about half as much luggage actually fits up there. Isn’t there also a “rule” about which direction the wheels should go in the overhead containers? How come no one follows that rule?
We all are robots. We all follow rules in life. So what does all this have to do with dating?
Well, a lot of people think there are rules in dating. I can’t tell you how many times I get an email from someone asking something like, “David, I read where you said that you should lean in on a date when you’re talking to a woman, but someone else said you shouldn’t do that. Now, isn’t that a rule that you’re not supposed to lean in like that?”
It’s unbelievable. What about intuition? What about doing something just for the sake of doing it? What about trusting your own gut?
What about bending and breaking the “rules” sometimes? Why does there have to be so many rules? Why are we such a rule-driven society?
It’s amazing how many people have trouble meeting and dating the opposite sex because they believe there have to be rules. Hmmm, she flipped her hair on the left side, which means I should not kiss her tonight. Really?! Where did you read that . . . in some “10 rules for dating” article somewhere?
Whatever happened to just doing things because they feel right in the moment. Now, I’m not talking about a rule-less society, but every once in a while can’t we just give up that one piece of uni, allow someone to transfer a few airline miles or go in for a kiss without reading a textbook about it ahead of time? If we did, we might all actually live a little longer.
I’m a middle school teacher and today was the first day of school so I’m really feeling today’s blog. Not so much from the teacher-student relationship but rather from teacher to teacher. My peers were arguing over 2 minutes of lunch time (from 19 to 21 min.)because it’s IN the contract!!! They kept overlooking the fact that they also have three 20 minute breaks between classes and a 50 minute prep period on top of an early dismissal…I doubt the contract is that sweet. The worst part – I had to sit there biting my tongue because of the social rule that it’s “rude” to walk out of meetings, no matter how repetitive they are! My baaaaad.
What about the idea that you weren’t willing to stretch your own boundaries just a bit. I mean you could have got that piece of uni if you were just willing to spend the $8. Actually two pieces what a deal, maybe just throw away the other piece. Sometimes just bending on your end will get you what you want as well. If you are always willing to bend then often everything seems pretty easy. Maybe the $700 ticket was truly worth the price since you really needed to be in New Orleans. Now apparently you were not willing to part with your money to make it happen so the trip was not as pressing as you thought.
Just playing with the other side of things here. I totally get what you are saying people are often uptight these days. Imagine if your family of 4 is counting on your ticket sales/serving tables job. Break the rules and you might be on the street. Sometimes you just do what the boss says not cause its right or The Rule but because your family’s survival is most important to you.
Brad
Those 2 minutes are huge in the scope of a 24 hour day:)
People are hilarious!
Chris
Why waste food that is what i was thinking. Thats a deeper issue with our country is the amount of food we waste and how we abuse natural resources.
So i am not about throwing food away.
I have from time to time paid double and had them give the other piece to someone else but last night it was all about principle.
As for the airfare why pay 1400 for 2 tickets when they both should be free and i had the miles.
So in reality I am going on one free ticket and paid for the other but the rules are a bit out of control.
Chris
One last thing I leave for New Orleans in the morning after buying one ticket and getting one for free.
I have to go to funeral otherwise would not be going.
You would think that people could bend the rules a bit for emergencies.
Its all about having some human element here and not being a sheep:)
When I worked for companies that had a corporate environment that created rules (**cough, cough, blockbuster) it was the duty of the employee to uphold them.
The issues I had with this system is that, asking people to return their video on time out of respect for another customer were frankly lost on most people. Instead, they would think, well its just a corporate rule to make my life harder so I am going to ignore that and return the tape when I feel like it. Then the tape comes back and they are assesed a late fee and then the employee who wants to keep his job and has to “enforce” the rules is the person who gets to hear the verbal abuse that come from people asking us to bend the rules for them, just this one time because of how unfair the rules are to them.
Well, like Chris, I’m not trying play devil’s advocate, but when you are faced with an innocent request to change the rules, usually the first thought going through your mind is, if I change the rule for this person, then I have to change the rule for everyone. And if the person is abusive about it (not you of course David) and I have had some ridiculously abusive customers in the past, you get awfuly jaded about helping people out with the stupid rule that was a corporate decision in the first place. So you dig in to your trench, tell the person, nice or mean, that the rule is there for a reason. Most people that work in “rules” enforcing types of jobs, are also people who typically don’t enjoy their jobs but enjoy the income. At the end of the day, the jerk who was yelling at you about his tape, is just a part of the job and is not worth losing a sense of self over.
Hope your flight goes well and sorry to hear about the loss.
Hey David. I had a discussion about that the other night. It’s amazing how many articles are out there about the ‘rules’ of dating. ‘Kiss on the third date’ or ’sex on the third date’ etc. More than half these rules take away the whole being in the moment effect. Many people get frustrated because of so many rules, i.e. Brad’s 2 min debate. Thx David.
My condolences to you and the family of the person who passed away.
As for the blog post, I agree with you. I frankly think people (especially institutions) use rules, in part, as an excuse to think.
It’s sort of what you always say David about people going through the motions in life as if they are in a coma.
David, this just happen to me the other day, i went to McDonalds, and there was the following offert: 1 cheeseburger + small frites + small coke = $10, but i don’t like cheese so i asked if i can get that offert with a normal and simple burger and they say it would cost me $12 because the rule says that it must be a cheeseburger to pay less…
David
Good example of a robot:)
David,
How funny you say this man. The other day me and my friend took our bikes to SF, were from the bay area, and we take the BART train there (maybe youve heard of it?) ..anyway, we go on an awesome ride, go over the golden gate bridge and all around. We get back to the BART station with our bikes, and the station agent guy starts telling us how we cannot take our bikes through here because of this and that right. He then says we need to go so many blocks down to the other station and theyll let us through with our bikes. Now in my mind im thinking im getting on the train here period because Im here, its a dumb rule, and who cares right. This btw was after reasoning with him which didnt work (robot lol). So I told my friend to follow me. We go to the other gate behind him while the robot is on the phone and just go over and get on the train, haha.
Go back 5 blocks my ass
Also, youre so right about doing what your gut tells you in regards to dating in the moment. The present moment is all we have so you have to take advantage of it.
Thanks again for all,
Dan
These rules are so funny!
I got to say some of the rules are just so ridiculous, and then there are rules for things that need some rules to work it out.
David – is the cheeseburger story true, man that’s sad they wanted to charge extra for that.
Charles-
I agree too many rules get us nervous, and get us to think way too much to fast, and we truly lose touch in the power of being in the moment.
Some rules are needed, and some are just pure stupidity.
Btw….welcome to the blog Charles never seen you here before are you new here?
Too much rules really get is to be robotic instead of feeling things out.
Johnnyloveo- curious if you ever followed dating rules?
you spelled my name wrong Lance can’t answer your questions anymore j/k
a movie
so true that when you do work for a big company the rules are there for a reason but sometimes the human need and desire to be nice should be allowed:)
Getting back to your question-
Believe it or not i used to follow the 3day wait til you call her, God what was I thinking back in time:)
Dan
That is crazy……you can bring your bike on in one station but not the other.
Go figure that rule!
wow that’s funny kind you kind of remind me of the movie swingers:) you are more like the John Favre character:)
Hahhahahah Swingers a good movie bud!
Craig
People are funny sometimes and so many people prefer to go through the motions of life
Another great blog today, always learning something new thanks!
wow good to see David Wygant on here involved!
David is always here John, its his blog:)
I meant great to see him interact with people on the blog that’s what i meant:)
he couldn’t give you one piece of sushi because odd numbers are bad luck in Japan. Sushi comes in even numbers as a result. So it’s not just, did he want to make four bucks, it’s did he want to make four bucks but risk having bad luck as a result. I’m sure people believe these things to different degrees just like anywhere else, but it is sort of a cultural habit.
A question- how can one break free from rules when they are so used or condition to follow rules?
Your blogs are so natural and I believe in the same. Rules are for followers
Do what you feel and live the moment because it doesn’t last long. It amazes me how people count the # of dates and what to expect on the next?! I like your playground example in a previous post. Last week at a organic food store, I asked girl about which organic soup tastes better, not because I wanted to pick her up, but I was looking for the best soup can. I then asked her about her fav recipe and she loves to cook, etc. We exchanged recipes on the fly. Long story short, I met her again at a bus stop and we re-connected, it was so easy to ask her to a soup place for lunch 
Kelly
Thanks i did not know that rule at all. Now i know its bad luck to have one piece of sushi.
See you learn something everyday of the week!!
Pizzabox
The 3rd date and she must have sex with a guy is by far the dumbest rule i have ever heard.
Why do we feel the need to make rules like that up?
John
what rules are you so used to living by?
I used to living by i got to keep on approaching women to increase my success ratio, and i feel like its kind of mechanical to constantly approach women, what you think? Thanks David!
I also share the same rules like pizzabox- sex by 3rd date, which i feel like a huge mistake, as the women in the past don’t feel comfortable with me to escalate so quickly.
Btw….i keep hearing you talk about sushi, it must be some good sushi, do you always go to the same place?
That’s funny john i was wondering the same thing, every time i hear David talk about food or especially good sushi, it makes really want to go to a a good sushi bar.
Ahh the absurdities of life, yet there are some pretty dumb ass rules out there. Just came back from driving 30 miles to a club and I could not get in because they wanted me to wear a collar shirt smh.
Well Dave I think that the guy in United Airlines simply did not make it happen, because it could cause him/her a problem. You are just one of the anonymous customers, so who cares? But if his/her manager finds out, she would have a problem (maybe she could even loose a job if she has done something wrong in the past already). So why should they break a rule for you?
Anyway I totally agree with you that dating is not about rules – otherwise it would not be fun at all, right? Imagine you knew some routine that would get you every girl – would you be then interested in meeting girls?
Ohh,
I had a rule enforcer not that long a time ago. On the island where I live we have a free trolley that covers the whole island.
I was about to pick up my kids my car breaks down and of course of all the days I have my dog with me. I am scrambling to try to get home so I can get my other car so I can pick up my kids.
So naturally I run for the trolley, very distraught explains my situation but of no use the rules states no dogs in the trolley. Amazing that people cant make these judgement calls when situations like these arises and just bend the rules a bit. Personally in a lot of cases it seem the rules are often based on what their insurance lets them do.
If anyone should do a reform in this country it’s the crazy lawsuits. more than anything they stops great initiatives and not to mention could reduce our health care cost if these crazy law suits were not able to be filed in the first place.
Johnnylove-
Im not new to the blog but thx for welcoming me. Im on here everyday, just never posted anything.
Haha, take about rules. I currently live in Japan and trust me–they are ALL robots.
This hits home. Reminds me of wal mart, especially the management. Gotta love that robotic crap.
I wish people would live more in the moment so they could be more creative and relax more.
The only rule I live by is: David Wygant is always right
I did a search for “Bend the rules, break the rules, change the rules” and this was the first article in the results. Ironically enough I wasn’ thinking about “The Community” when I did a search, but your article is right on man. Sheeple have too many rules, whatever happened to freedom?