Become A Soloist
September 13, 2009 
8 Comments
It’s time to let the coolness factor die. Let’s say you live in Washington DC. Every Friday and Saturday night, you go to the same bars in Adams Morgan or Dupont Circle, and you hit on the same 24-year-old blond girls.
At 10:30 pm, you decide the place is lame and you go somewhere else. At midnight, the same guy every week says, “Dude, we have to go check out this other place. I heard it is great. My friend just texted me from there…”
It’s like Groundhog Day over and over again. You go home, and you’re always frustrated because you missed talking to the girl that got into the cab as you were walking over to talk to her.
In reality, what you’re doing is chasing the night. You’re miserable and not enjoying yourself, but you go back and do it again the next weekend.
While you’re doing this every weekend, other guys may be sitting around the house with some buddies having a great time barbecuing and drinking some wine. Others may have a great soul-searching weekend. Those guys come back on Monday feeling invigorated and alive.
There is a time when you really have to stop giving into your friend’s bullshit. You have to start saying that enough is enough.
When I was single, some of my best Friday nights included going out to dinner and being home by ten o’clock at night. I never cared about chasing the night. I’d be home at 10:00 pm so I could get up early the next morning and have an amazing Saturday meeting the kind of women I really wanted to meet and doing things I loved to do.
When you finally break up with your friends and stop buying into their bullshit, then you’ll know you really didn’t miss a thing when you get that day after call saying, “Dude, you should have been there!” So start breaking up with your friends and start becoming an independent, free thinker!
Hey David. Short post but definitely straight to the point. When I saw the title I thought you were referring to the Jamie Foxx movie. I think this goes back to the last blog, about needing validation from your friends. Until we achieve self-love, it will be groundhog day weeks after weeks, year after year. Thanx David.
Hey David,
Love your Blogs my friend, great to see your doing so well. ALways inspiring and telling it like it is!
Be Well,
Steven (Berlin)
Developing your social repertoire is critical to achieving your ideal lifestyle. You must build a network of contacts that will allow you have access to the events and circles that interest you.
Running in the same pack, going to the same venues, and doing the same things does become monotonous and comfortable after awhile. Comfort builds complacency, and complacency is your #1 enemy to growth.
With that being said, I am not sure that ditching your friends altogether may be the right advice… Perhaps if they are dragging you down. It is imperative to have male camaraderie in life.
I believe the most important thing is diversifying your social skills and learning to push you comfort boundaries. Do things you aren’t accustomed to and you will find things that bring passion and joy to your life.
I’ve already started this before I read the post and again I’m 18.
It’s quite easy. I started breaking up with friends because, for one reason they were assholes and desperate, stalking women and making fools of themselves. You can guess what kind of reaction they had when I tried to give them an advice.
So the best thing to do is get rid of that best friend or friend thing but not in an arguement. Just let time pass witouth going out with them or spending time with them. I’m saying this because if you really feel bad or something one day you can text him or something to spend just a day and talk.
Don’t you agree?
I don’t think you should break up with your friends completely. It’s important to have friends there that you can relate to, talk to, and still have your own life when you are in a relationship with someone. You don’t have to go out with your friends all the time and if you do occasionally, you don’t have to stay the whole time. When I began to Start Love I was still connected to my friends, but I didn’t break up with them completely. They are great people, none of them are assholes. Maybe this depends on how old you are and if your friends are in relationships or not.
Maybe…but…’friends’ are rare. I mean true friends. There’s a song and a verse sounds like this:”Have you met a living legend?…just a real friend” so yeah…real friends are hard to get and you CAN break up with some people that you think are your friends.
Mike,
Being only 18, you need to make sure you are running around and making enough mistakes. Failing your way forward is the best way to grow. Just make sure you are focusing your energy and time on something proactive.
I am only 24 and my life is incredibly different now than how I predicted it would be when I was 18.
I don’t think David literally meant to break up with your friends….
but his post is awesome in reminding you that you shouldn’t let your friends run your life… or dictate what’s important for you!
You got to find your own meaning, your own pleasures, and truly learn to CHOOSE what you want… and truly learn to GIVE (yourself) the meaning you want to the experiences you are having.
For me… no matter where I go (with or without friends), I have fun! I create the fun! I become the party of my own life…. and as such… friends come to me for that reason… for me.
Friends don’t call me because THIS event or THAT event is fun. They call me to make THAT event even MORE fun because I am there