Be Cool!
September 28, 2007 
26 Comments
Be Cool! By David Wygant
Recently I was having a discussion with a friend of mine, and he asked me “Is it possible for a person to learn how to be cool?”
I looked at my friend, who is 47 years old, and I said “This isn’t high school. You mean you want people to think that you are cool? Are you looking to score with a cheerleader? You want to become one of the popular kids?”
This conversation got me thinking deeper. Life is really like high school. People of all ages walk around and try to be accepted by other people.
When you go to a bar, you always see the group of guys that are “cool.” They are talking to all the women. All the women are talking to them.
When you go to a kegger . . . Oops, I mean a wine and cheese party (which is the same thing for adults), you will see the group of people (men and women) that you know are cooler than everyone in the room. They are the ones chatting everyone up, and people are lining up to talk to them.
So what makes somebody cool?
A lot of people think a shortcut to becoming cool is to dress a certain way. I know fashion is important, and it’s great to look good. How you dress alone doesn’t matter. If you look good but you are feeling insecure, you look like a well-dressed insecure person.
The only way to become cool is to become secure with yourself. When you see a group of people that you think are cool and you think you are not as cool or hip as they are . . . then you are absolutely correct!
What you think about you bring about. Dating and life is all about having the proper mindset. There are no shortcuts to becoming cool. There is no magic pill you can take that will make you instantly cool in other people’s eyes.
You need to believe that everybody you talk to is your equal. You need to start becoming that cool person and engaging others in conversation, instead of waiting for them to engage you in a conversation.
Standing with your hands in your pockets at a grown up keg party hoping people will notice you, is not being cool. Walking around the room and engaging others in conversation is the way for people to notice that you are one of the so-called cool people in the high school of life.
This blog could be a ten page blog on teaching you how to really feel better about yourself so you no longer have cool envy. That is far more, however, than we can cover in this blog today.
If you feel this way about yourself (that you are not one of the “cool” people) and your life is full of excuses, then you need to tap into this audio program I recently created. . This program will help you overcome your fears, and make you part of the in and cool crowd.
David – Love the Teen Beat … So funny!!
I will have to admit that suffer from this … and spend (probably way too much) time wondering what others think of me. What’s so interesting, though, is that I never think about others what I’m sure they’re thinking about me …
I also understand and have seen the truth of what David is saying regarding being confident … My question to David is always HOW do you just “be confident?” It to me is a lot like someone telling you to just “be happy.”
I don’t consider myself “cool” and never have. In fact, in high school and college I was developmentally delayed when it came to talking to the opposite sex. In my early twenties, I spent four years in the Army, the last two of them stationed in Germany.
For some reason, I think because I was in close contact with my peers for so much time, there were no pretenses and I became really comfortable with who I was. After the first year, I was actually seduced by German girl, and by the time I got out, my attitude about who was had changed.
I think it’s an incremental process, and it takes an investment, or a willingness to take risks. You have to put yourself out there, realizing that you’re making yourself vulnerable, and reflect on the positive and negative experiences.
That’s why David’s dating advice is so great. The more you talk to people, the more things you can find in common with them. In fact, just by allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you become more human and more attractive to others.
Oops, that’s “…about who I was…”
I always like the saying “What you think of me is non of my business” Look at David he does his own thing, style, woman, yoga, ect…… Personally I think his shirts are a little small and tight, but hey, I know mine are a little big and loose! LOL!! I like to have something to show when the shirt comes off! LOL! But it works for David! Your a cool dude David!!
Thanks jim and I wear my shirts tighter to show off my man figure:)
Being “cool” and who is “cool” is a personal perspective, and gratefully/hopefully changes as we change and grow. You want cool? Here’s a few cool for ya and they will always be big time COOL:
Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Lao Tzu, Buddha ….
Paul Newman, Denzel Washington, Tommy Lee Jones, Paul Walker, Liam Neeson …. just a few ….
Angelina Jolie, Princess Di, Condoleezza Rice, Tina Turner, Joan, and My MOM.
oh David, and you wear those t-shirts so well …. fitted, tight, the shape of your pecs, the smooth flatness of your tummy nicely outlined just to make all the women wonder what you look like naked, how your skin feels and how you smell, those longer-than-long legs in snug jeans fitted around buns of steel from years of yoga …
honey you are a long slick slice of cool and in my haste, i forgot to put ya on my cool list. forgive me?
Taleda
Now that is the way to stroke my ego:) Thanks for the great words!!! And you bring up a great point.
Men need to learn the importance of dress and how to wear clothes that show off there man figure and how important it is for men to seduce a womans mind….women are visual as well and they are sick of looking at men in golf clothes!!
Cool is just an impression you get. Its funny but I never really felt anything other than my goofy geeky self until a whole group of us goofy geeky chicks got together our last years of high school. We used to take pics of each other all the time. Looking back on them, hey we were pretty cool! We were just having fun and on film it just translates to cool. Haven’t thought much about who is cool and who is not since then. Don’t know that that is such a good thing, but not sure it really matters all that much so long as I’m having a good time.
Well said David…
I said in a long ago blog, give me a Man in jeans, a white t-shirt, some old spice after-shave and look out!
so I’ll clarify: fitted jeans on long ass legs that give me a crotch to look at instead of wondering if his cock exists somewhere in all that baggy space. any t-shirt that FITS so that i just wanna run my hands all over that skin underneath, but i’m still and always will be a slutty sucker for old spice after-shave, a slam-me-to-the-ground smile and a strut with purpose in every step.
Confidence, a will of steel and determination. uh-huh, now that’s cool
Love hugs and slow deep dewy kisses to you David, have a MOST pleasant day.
a nice dewey kiss back at ya taleda!!!!
See what I started for you David!! Like you needed help.
awww Jim ….
are you a tight jeans-fitted t-shirt-strutter with confidence, a will of steel and determination?
if you are, add old spice to your giddy-up and i’ll be your huckleberry
Taleda, I keep the guns under cover. LOL!
It’s about time someone recognized “cool” as the national drug of choice. Except the only way to get it is to manufacture it yourself.
I remember in high school, trying to figure out why some girls were popular and some (read: me) weren’t. It was mystifying, especially when I noticed that the popular girls weren’t necessarily the pretty girls. I figured out that the popular girls had confidence which made up for their average looks, while the pretty ones who weren’t confident (read: me) stayed on the sidelines.
So I started practicing being confident, even though I didn’t really feel it. Thirty years later, it comes much easier. True confidence means facing your fears of success, and walking boldly in spite of them. A new wardrobe and a good haircut work wonders, too.
I can only add that men often are wearing a wrong size cloth
This is good information from the women and an excellent incentive to get back on the exercise machine. I fell off the wagon after a foot injury, and I need to do something about it starting now!
I don’t know…I mean that suit men often scare me. Suits are the ones that come down on you at work and decide that we can use something substandard or a nurse is a nurse is a nurse. So I don’t really have an issue with what a man wears. I just want him to smell good, have a pleasing face, and be able to keep up with me.
Wow David, you’re really taking me down memory lane here!
I don’t think I’ve used the word cool to describe a person since I was in high school. I don’t really care if the people I hang out with are cool or not … I like them for who they are, not what other people think about them. Plus “cool” is so generic I’d much rather someone say that I’m creative or sweet or funny, something a little more specific that actually means something.
To me “cool” seems kind of like the tooth fairy. When you’re younger everyone buys into it but then one day you realize its just a fantasy. How would you qualify that the concept of cool actually exists? There’s no certification or license to show you’re cool, and who would be the judge of cool anyway? The whole idea of being cool is all in our heads. I’d much rather have fun and pursue my passions than waste time thinking about an artificial concept. Besides, artsy types are intrinsically cool so I’m set. Totally kidding of course.
Men need to learn the importance of dress and how to wear clothes that show off there man figure and how important it is for men to seduce a womans mind
Joe
Not only is shopping great for buying clothes but you can shop for people as well!!!
Darkpoet,
I agree with you 200 percent! Unfortunately, men who don’t know how to dress, don
I love the term “showing off my man figure.” I will be giggling at that all day.
There was a song recently about how adult life really is high school and I totally agree. For me, the way I dress does have an affect on how confident I feel. I’ve been working to build an entire wardrobe of clothing that I feel absolutely amazing in. So it doesn’t matter if I’m running to the grocery store or heading to a wine tasting, I’ll feel gorgeous and project that air of “cool” that folks tend to be drawn to.
Yes, how insightful Bowling for Soup is huh?
to Jessica,
…really, an interesting T-shirt and tight fitting jeans on a date? huh.. single seminars I have been to say, a shirt with a collar…and wear cologne, polo sport, halston, etc..