I just got off the phone with a client and I had to share this with all of you.
I could not wait till tomorrows blog……I think all of you will enjoy this!
There is no reason in life to take things personally.
If you truly respect yourself – if you really think that you’re a great person – then if someone else doesn’t like you, you won’t take it personally.
It just means that you might have some stuff to work on. You have some stuff to do.
Life is just like a mirror – we attract exactly who we are so we can learn the lessons we’re ready to learn.
So if you’re getting blown off on a regular basis and you’re feeling really bummed and obsessing over it, there is a lesson there that you haven’t yet embraced. You haven’t looked deep enough into it.
You have to look at yourself and think, why am I getting blown off? What am I doing to cause this pattern in my life? Something that you are doing is perpetuating that pattern.
Don’t take the rejection personally, just realize that there is something in your life that you have not done, there is something you need to do to work on yourself first.
You haven’t learned all of the lessons from the relationships you’ve had in the past. Every relationship in your life gives you a lesson that you need to learn from and embrace.
Since I posted this second blog today, I am putting up my podcast and announcement again on here so you don’t miss them! Here they are…
In today’s podcast, I am going to issue a challenge you like none other . . . and you will look at yourself in a way you never have before. I also reveal a SPECIAL OFFER in this podcast, so be sure to check it out!
Click the play button below to listen now:
Now for some great news and a big announcement…
==>Big Announcement<==
As some of you already know, my membership maxed out and has been full since soon after it launched. In fact, we had to put everyone who wasn't able to get a slot on a waiting list.
Well, due to me hiring an additional coach I am now able to accept an additional 125 Members on the membership site! (Because of all the individual coaching and personalized attention that members receive on the site, I strictly limit the number of members in proportion to the number of coaches)
If you want one of those slots, click here:
Once those 125 slots have been snatched up, the site will once again close and I will once again have to put everyone else on a waiting list. So if you want one of these slots, I wouldn’t wait too long to click on the link!
So if you’re getting blown off and thinking to yourself, god, why does everybody hate me, there is something that you are missing; you need to go deeper into it. Look deeper into why you are getting blown off and then work on that part of you.
It could be that you’re too needy on the first date. Maybe people are blowing you off because they see the desperation in you.
It could be that you haven’t gotten laid in a while, and you come in with way too much sexual energy that is overwhelming. Instead of letting the sexual tension build, the woman literally feels your dick growing under the dinner table – and it doesn’t turn her on!
There are a lot of things that you have to start looking at within yourself. Many times people don’t want to look within themselves, but remember that you are the cause and effect of everything you do.
You have to look deeper into it.
So true so true
I still have a lot of work, have come a long way from the first time I found this site, but what can you do but keep on pushing yourself and never be stagnant.
I am not here to date, not for a long time but this blog really have a lot of great little snippets of reminders you need reevaluate about yourself.
Thanks to David and the rest of the coaches.
I myself have things that I have to work on and not allow other things to bother me…I am a nice person but don’t bomb me out with a email telling me I am boring or you might not want to hear what I have to say. Not only should we respect each other but give the other person a benefit of a doubt. So maybe I don’t find some people’s blog interesting for all they want to do is seek validation from David. There are a few on this blog that I even had the honor to speak in person with is a very nice person and I will read hers and several others, but bomb me out and I have a secret to tell everyone…In this Country everyone has a right to defend themselves…And when you type that blog bombing that person out don’t think they are going to sit there and take it lightly for you might get a rude awakening. One day I will go through the blog and rate Pete’s and DTO….Tell you something DTO says certain people need help well there are times I think he needs a head shrink and Pete you need to accept your own validation and do one thing GROW UP YOU IMMATURE MAN….I will say this one more time…..David knows men in professions that have theirs where is yours do you see any of them on this blog asking David get out your crystal ball and genie lamp for I need a woman to love me. No…Only the guys that help David are his coaches….
Sandra
Sandra, are you reading what you’re writing???
You complain about people criticising you, and yet in the space of a few posts you said that -
- I can’t ‘find pussy’
- I ‘find DTO cock so exciting’
- my ‘comments are bullshit’
- I should ‘go find a faggot’
- I am a ‘cocksucker’
- I am ‘cold hearted’
- I use ‘ploys’ on ‘us women’
- I want to ’seek validation from David’
- I am an ‘IMMATURE MAN’
Wow! Thank God I don’t take things are personally as you or I would have gone out and shot 10 people by now!
Really, when you want to have an intelligent conversation, take a deep breath and think before writing. Otherwise, what is the point?
David, really I’m laughing to myself about all that stuff from Sandra – not of it has affected me in the slightest. The funny thing is that I do sense that she does mean well when she doesn’t let ego get in the way. But perhaps by continuing this conversation I’m indulging my own ego in trying to show how evolved it is.
In any case, its the early hours here, so time for sleep!
why do people post negative stuff in their response??
This blog is very true. I think most things teach you a lesson whether good or bad. Sometimes it takes me a little longer to realize what I need to fix, but in the end I take something out of every situation. I learn from my mistakes and work on what needs to be worked on.
Matt
People are different on how they percieve things…it would be like if you and i see an accident you would see it differently than I would…
David gave us a bonus blog post today! Hurray!
This post reminded me of the fourth toltecan agreement (the ‘toltecas’ were a prehispanic civilization in Mexico):
“Do not take anything as personal. Not even the worst offense. Neither the worst snub. Nor the most severe injury you should take as something personal. Who offends you has a poison to get rid of against you, because that person doesn’t know how to get rid of it himself. In the way he wants to hurt you, in that way that somebody is injured himself. But the problem is his and not yours.”
Haha, wow! Can’t we all play nice? lol.
Good post, David. You go over this in detail in your “Dating Principles” audio.
Last time I checked, this blog was for ADULTS. Can’t we respectfully disagree with someone whose opinion doesn’t exactly tickle our fancy? Way to be the antithesis of today’s blog, Sandra and Peter, and taking each others comments personally. You guys should try pulling each others hair and calling each other “doodie heads” while your at it.
I love a good fight as much as the next guy, but there’s a time and a place for everything.
This blog ain’t exactly the place.
Here’s some advice that you won’t have to pay $37.42 for: GROW UP.
Gaby
I was in a blog kind of mood today.
Would you guys like to see more 2 a days?
I feel like we are in football training camp!!!
Will
Yes i do go through this in my new program!!
And i also enjoy a good blog fight,.,…..funny term though…a blog fight.
Gaby, as it happens I started reading Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements yesterday – will finish it today.
Will of Fire, my original comment here was a spillover from a discussion on the post ‘Two Thumbs Up’. If you’d read that you should be able to see that this situation wasn’t how you wrote. Basically, I gave Sandra some feedback which wasn’t taken well – the comment above was a continuation of that.
Its funny, because I really was not offended in the slightest by any of Sandra’s comments, but I am slightly offended that you think I took her comments personally or that you think “I” need to grow up.
Not to worry, I guess you didn’t read it that carefully.
Sandra, you are very right that people will often see things differently to each other. My point is that if you want ti successfully relate with other people you need to be able to see how your communication is being received – all along I’ve been trying to point out how you’re coming across when you write. I tried to do this politely as possible, but I doubt I would have been more successful if I had of resorted to the sort of childish name calling that you responded with.
Some may say “why can’t we all just get along?”, but my take on this blog is that we should be using it as a platform to learn. If it just degenerates into meaningless comments or discussions about celebrities, then what are we learning? David’s giving us some great, challenging material, so lets use it and learn from it!
>>>>>>In this Country everyone has a right to defend themselves…
I love it when Sandra gets deep:-)
David: Day trading????
Dan, thanks for the first good laugh of the day.
Dan
I was trying to drag out his preferred software for daytrading, forget about dating trading is so much more fun.
You last entry boy did i know that feeling. How things change in a relationship with kids and everything. Not saying its bad its just a lot of focus to make it work
I agree with Will of Fire. I get tired of blog fighting. It’s so petty and childish. We’re supposed to be adults here, right? It seems too many blogs get sidetracked by this kind of stuff.
On the Two Thumbs Up blog for instance, we were having a good & enjoyable discussion about movies until a certain 2, maybe 3 people got into yet another personal flame war or pissing match. Does that do them and especially the rest of us any good?
The best thing to do is for them to move those pissing matches over to IM. They can get as nasty as they want without sidetracking these blogs, whatever the subject of the day may be. And the rest of us here can enjoy a peaceful and mutually respectful discussion about movies, dating & relationships, current events, whatever.
Tony, are you including me in the 2 or 3 people who “got into another personal flame war”? To me a flame war is when two or more people trade insults with other – in this case it was only one way, at least as far as I can see. However, I did advise Sandra how important it is to see how other people perceive your communication, and as both you and Will of Fire felt this way ….
As I said a number of times, it was my intention to call Sandra out on how she was behaving. Now, since you’re possibly calling me out for calling her out, how do you suggest I respond in future if I think I could offer someone useful feedback?
Let sandra be who she wants to be. It’s not anyone’s place to tell her otherwise.
Tony888, anytime you want to chat with me, I’d be more than welcome. You don’t have to code your responses to get me to understand you weren’t happy with me using the forum to discuss something on this blog. I chose to relate the information there because I thought selfishly about what I went through.
Why don’t you tell me how your last relationship went? I’d be interested to hear about your progress, since mine seems to be distracting you.
Mike, perhaps you could tell me which of the following two scenarios is kinder -
1. Someone has a problem that they can’t see for themselves. You don’t want to rock the boat or upset their feelings because you don’t think that would be nice, or because you think it would offend them. As a result they don’t get the message and never change.
2. You try and communicate to that person about their problem. Your approach may seem confrontational to them at first, but after a while it sinks in, they learn and have the chance to change.
I’ll admit that I’m making an assumption that the person has a problem. Fortunately I’m lucky to be fairly aware of the patterns people run (and I’m including myself in this), so if I see something shouldn’t I bring it up? I’m not afraid of someone not liking me or calling me silly names – it doesn’t change how I feel about myself. But if I remain silent I’m nothing worse than a spectator.
I think this could form the basis of an interesting discussion …
And Mike, to be completely direct, if letting Sandra “be who she wants to be” means letting her just spew forth the kind of comments she made yesterday, then I won’t stand it. For me it would be the same thing as standing by whilst a man beats a woman – that’s something I would never let happen.
Yes. I want people to tell me what they think is wrong with me. Everyone seems to think that they are helping by not saying anything. Tell me I’m a coward. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I need to change my ideas about being respectful to people because I go overboard to make sure everyone I meet is happy then when I go back to being a little confrontational people seem shocked. How could the nice guy be this guy too? Well, I am that way because I get frustrated and anxious and at the same time I know my problems are in my head but I am blocked with changing that in myself so I don’t know what to do anymore.
What happens when you are the one everyone looks up to and you think you are not worth anyone’s time, so that is the impression I give off to people that I know about. After that, all I get are he’s too cool, or too smart, or too erratic to be a good partner for me for life. I don’t want life, I want to walk away from a relationship feeling satisfied, educated, and not at all guilty about wanting to move on in life and find someone new. That was what I was complaining about. If you guys want me to write a movie and sell it and make it so I can talk about it on a forum about dating, then sure, I’ll get around to it eventually.
I’d rather write a book about me and how I want to be a little selfish in my life, even when everyone tells me that it is wrong or disrespectful to be that way.
Go right ahead, I can take it.
I’m here for myself, so if you are talking about Sandra, then sorry in advance. I say leave Sandra alone because Sandra already knows who she is and for all the things that happen in her life she is still a positive person, no matter what people seem to think about what she says.
oops, it was about Sandra. Go ahead, go after her. I’ve done it a few times too.
Mike, it applies to anyone. If I’m doing something I’m not aware of, then I’d want to be called on it – I also want to be called out for doing the things I know I shouldn’t be doing, but am still doing. Had a conversation along these lines with a friend tonight.
But I don’t think we should make excuses for someone because of what’s happened to them – that’s just a weak cop out that just keeps them stuck where they are. Would you put up with someone in your life who behaves like that? I’m specifically talking about the childish, homophobic comments from last night – there should be no excuse for hate. As I’ve said many times, I don’t take any of that personally (homophobic comments are particularly misdirected with me!), that doesn’t mean Sandra shouldn’t acknowledge that she behaved badly and apologise.
>>>>>>I know my problems are in my head but I am blocked with changing that in myself…
a.movie:
You need to find a good therapist, a good professional to help you, you won’t find one here!!!!!!
May I also suggest you go get laid! Yeah, go pay for it, LA is full of whores! You need some woman to rock your world so maybe some sense can enter your fucked up brain! Growing up we used to say to boys who just “were not with it” that they needed a hot girl to fuck them good or some boys to just beat them up to wake up from their self induced daze….Of course, I would love to be the recipient of the first method…As far as the second method goes, I want you all to know that I am a lover, not a fighter, lol.
I also still think a.movie should get the fuck out of LA….maybe move to Nashville to be near Nashville….unless he is black and/or gay, he won’t survive long downthere:-)
2 more weeks until a trip to China, explore new places…
One of my favorite places still remains Prague, Peter!
Oh, what was the title of this blog post again?:-)
Peter
I do not need a daddy figure in my life I have one of those and you would not like to hear what he thinks of guys on a computer…He thinks they have nothing better to do but bother people…
News Flash
Did anyone see the news where this guy and news reporter met online and the guy went to his apartment and killed the news reporter…See that is why I don’t trust online stuff…I keep it to a minimal and like to blog with Dave and yes especially Daphne…
Peter
I am daddy’s little girl my story oh I had fun this past weekend telling my dad how two guys treated me when I was a child….And the one that makes me laugh when he talked to one of my ex boyfriends about treating me like a lady….You have to get up awfully early in the morning to fool my dad…look on face book and remove the glasses and you will see my dad…I have his temper also….
Mike
Thanks for the comment I really appreciate it…Same back to u….
Peter
One thing my parents especially my mom taught me was jump to the defense first and usually ur battle is won…Leave Mike alone and if you don’t like our comments then erase them from ur email.
Oh Peter speaks again don’t like it when u can’t hit a woman… The two I attacked in front of my dad guess what my friends dad was at the table also….When I told them that him and one of my kin could not use me as a punching bag anymore you ought to see my friend’s dad’s face and guess what his mother was red faced too….They left early because they needed to talk to their son and you should have heard what my dad said to them and guess what my uncle my dad’s brother was at the table also see that was a family affair….
Thank you dan. Well put. LA is the place to be for me, though.
My professional sent me to David. I’m here for the long haul.
Mike
Follow your dream about that book and did you know I write poetry…If you go to Poetry.com and look up under Sandra Wilhelm you will find two of my poems…One is Beautiful Reflections and The Masters Hand…both are copyrighted…Did you know I was asked to go to the semi-finalist…I hope all goes well with you also…Anytime you need to talk you know how to get in touch ok…thanks for the comments…
Okay lets see
Peter, Mike and DTO!
None of you scare me send your troops just as long as you use Map Quest to try and find me…Did you know that it will lead you into someone’s field….Just as long as you keep this up I have a little advice for the three of you if I was murdered tonight all the FBI has to do is get my hard drive and follow where I went and see the threats you put on this blog….So keep it up and enjoy….
Oh guys the three musketeers mentioned above I have secret promise not to tell Tennessee loves accessories…read and weep the day I see you is the day I will worry about the three of you because if u want trouble Cheatham County will give it to u…
Peter,
How are you doing with the book? Isn’t it awesome? I really recommend it.
Peter Mike and DTO
These comments and remarks especially Mike sending you after fine yes I am taking them as personal threats. Now you three better get over it and leave me alone and let me live my life and blog happily or you three can tell it to a judge.
Talk to your buddies at work or those you meet on the street a woman can tear up a man’s ass in front of a judge that goes for the States you live in.
>>>>>>>if I was murdered tonight all the FBI has to do is get my hard drive and follow where I went and see the threats you put on this blog
WTF!!!!!!!
Sandra’s threats:
>>>>>>>if u want trouble Cheatham County will give it to u
>>>>>>>you three can tell it to a judge.
>>>>>>>a woman can tear up a man’s ass in front of a judge that goes for the States you live in.
Sandra, relax….It’s fun to get your reaction, you take it all so personal. You posted NINE times after my post in half an hour or so…NINE freaking times…can you consolidate your response into one post like I do…Use Cut and Paste for crying out loud!!
And now, for a completely different topic, DW should tell his friend that one day his wife may turn into this:
http://www.digtriad.com/news/most_popular/article.aspx?storyid=121464&provider=top
MUST CLICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first time I read this I thought I was reading the onion.com but….this was real! I feel sorry for her, talking about never letting go of the past. Out of all Asians, some of these Koreans can get really cookoo:-)
I was joking. I’m a reformed Sandra fan since I’ve gotten to know you. Don’t take anything I say seriously.
Now, now, Dan…what would David say? Maybe this guy chose poorly in the first place and had finally grown enough to come to grips with his bad initial decision but it would take a few scars in order to fully extricate himself. And Sandra is just being Sandra…
Mike
Thanks for the comment and I think the same of u…
Dan, you hit the nail on the head – I doubt the message will sink in though. On the bright side she does also make me laugh, even that’s (probably) unintentional on her part. Its a good reminder that people’s thinking can get really messed up – not everyone thinks or behaves rationally. I’m still trying to work out how you communicate with someone who acts like that – this is good practise I guess.
Gaby, just finishing the book now – as you said, its awesome. I’m going to read it a second time tomorrow (and maybe a third on Sunday), so that I can really let it sink in. I originally got it almost two and a half years ago, but for some reason thought it was about something it wasn’t and only made it a few pages in. It was sitting on my bedside table for almost two years after that, and was in storage along with most of my other books the past six months. Guess I was ready now!
Am also really enjoying listening to the recording of Wayne Dyer’s Power of Intention – it goes very well with this.
Peter, what book are you talking about? Curious, is all.
Its The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz – I picked it up in a bookstore on Lower Haight in San Francisco, but I’m sure you can get it in LA.
Its not too long and is very well written – I highly recommend it. Let me know if you get it.
Cool. Thank you. I’ll definately pick it up.