Attract Women Tonight . . . By Having Fun!
January 13, 2012 
11 Comments
Shogo here with another Friday blog for all you guys going out to bars, parties, restaurants, and generally just being social this weekend!
Today I want to talk to you about something that a lot of guys already know on the inside, but they forget when they’re out in public or they’re in the presence of a woman they’re attracted to.
It’s something that I talk about a lot—it’s the fact that you have to have fun whatever it is that you’re doing. And if you’re in a situation that you feel uncomfortable in, either find a way to make it fun for yourself or stop doing that and go do something that you actually enjoy doing.
Ditch your friends if you have to. If you’ve been going downtown to the clubs, but on the inside you actually feel like the artsy hipster girl is a better fit for you than the dolled-up high heels girl, start hanging out with the artsy hipster crowd.
The internet is so full of information about this and that. I was watching a video this morning that revealed 10 secret places to touch a woman when you’re on a first date. What? 10 places? What is this, the game “Operation”?
When I’m on a date, I hold a woman’s hand during the date, and then I kiss her on the lips at the end of the date. That’s it.
It’s funny how quickly we forget about the basics. Going out and meeting women is not that difficult. Going on a date and engaging the woman you’re out with in great conversation is not that difficult.
So why can’t so many guys do it? It’s because they’re not having fun. They’re not engaged in the conversation at hand. They’re thinking about whether or not they bought the right Axe body spray out of the 38 varieties on the shelf. They’re thinking about whether they’ve touched the girl on secret place #6 yet. They’re trying way too hard and they’re just not being themselves. And the most frustrating part about it is that most guys are actually aware that the only thing holding them back is themselves.
So what do you do? How do you solve this?
You tell yourself that you’re going to enjoy yourself no matter what. You don’t worry about making the best impression possible. You don’t worry about getting laid. Don’t even think about trying to get laid. You’ll get there eventually.
Go out to a place you like to go out to. Smile at everyone. Wink at the hot ones. Eat what you like. Wear what you like. Talk about what you like to talk about. Tell jokes that you like. Laugh when you feel like laughing. If something goes a little awry…laugh at that, too.
And why do you do it this way? Because the #1 key to attracting a beautiful woman is by being yourself, and I truly believe that it’s impossible to simultaneously have fun and not be yourself.
When you’re out this weekend, I want you to feel like this guy:
If you’re feeling a little uptight, play this on your phone. Forget about other people looking at you. Stop behaving the way you think others want you to behave. The reality is that nobody is really looking at you and nobody really cares about how you behave. Let loose. Have a drink, for chrissakes. Approach the entire situation like you’re having a blast, like you’re just having the time of your life. That’s what makes you an attractive personality, and that’s what’s going to make women want to be with you.
Remember that this whole thing is not that complicated. The weekend is here for you to enjoy, so go out and have fun!
First!
Love this post Shogo! Funny becuase I wrote a post very similar to this on another forum (you know the one lol) about approaching life with a child-like attitude, not childish. Which I know is something that David talks about a lot.
But I was talking to my girlfriend about how she was having a shitty day, and this cute little 3 year old girl made her day while on the bus. How?
The 3-year old girl was creating her own positive energy, her own fun. She could’ve been bored and cranky on the bus like most kids but she wasn’t.
The child was curious, genuine and engaging everyone on the bus. Saying hi to everyone and playing peek-a-boo with the people on the bus including my girlfriend. Looking at people, smiling and saying hi to them. She’s only 3.
She approached and engaged people because she wanted to, not becuase she was in her head thinking whether she should or not.
She uplifted everyone’s attitude without any expectations. She just wanted to have her own fun, for herself, and no one else… and even on a crappy bus ride, she was having a blast!
Wise words from my former college roommate Shogo here as usual. But I beg to differ on a couple small points. First, Shogs shares his belief that it is “impossible to simultaneously have fun and not be yourself”. But what about Halloween my man?? Or Eyes Wide Shut style costume orgies?? Maybe you’d be more hip to how awesome costume parties can be if you had made it back to the city for my epic 2010 Halloween party and were able to play the Johnny Utah to my Point Break Patrick Swayze. You were missed.
And secondly, Shogs advises us here to “wink at the hot ones” in order to have fun. Why just the hot ones Shogo?? Why not make a more average girl’s day with a wink here and there – you don’t have to go home with a 6.5 just cuz you bat your baby blues at her. Reminds me of the epitaph H. L. Mencken came up with for himself: “If after I depart this vale, you remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.” And Mencken definitely knew how to have fun and get laid, so maybe he’s on to something.
If you’re more of an artsy hipster, you’re going to be a lot more successful with other artsy hipsters, and the dolled up high heels girls is less likely to be interested in you anyways. Sure there are exceptions, but that initial recognition of, “We look like we belong together,” is pretty powerful, even if you never mention it with words. Any natural connection you can take advantage of is something you can use to your advantage.
As for tonight, it’s one of my friends’ birthdays, which means tonight will be a guaranteed blast. Sure it’s about celebrating him, but the women that accompany this party will be like a bunch of birthday presents for me. Good times will be had.
Great story, Patrick! It’s amazing what we can learn from little kids and how inspiring they can be!
@Conor: “I am an F–B–I agent!” Halloween 2012 perhaps. I didn’t want to ruin your first pilgrimage down the Silk Road.
Next time I see you, I’m going to hold you accountable to some random winking. We’ll stay out of Chelsea for your sake.
About the winking: Shogo, based on what I’ve seen in the comments on this blog, you may want to provide a little step-by-step guide on this maneuver for some of your readers. Fellas, basically what you’re gonna wanna do is (1) make eye contact with the female in a friendly and non-threatening way, (2) close the lid over one of your eyes, and (3) re-open the eye-lid. Remember, you are only going to need to shut and open ONE eye; otherwise, you’re just blinking. Which, by the way, you should automatically be doing already at regular intervals in order to avoid having a creepy 1000-yard stare like Christopher Walken in the second half of The Deer Hunter. I’m not gonna name names, but I already get that vibe from some of the commenters here – so let’s keep that in check.
Also, don’t let Shogo fool you when he says he’s only interested in a female’s hands and lips on a date. I can confirm that he is in fact quite familiar with various “secret places” on the female anatomy which lesser men dare not explore. Last time I checked, simply “holding hands” with a Dutch tour guide doesn’t leave your fingers looking like you’ve been carrying a snickers bar around on a hot summer day. Truth?
Oh yeah and Patrick – don’t ever, EVER share that story above with a female you are interested in. She will immediately assume you like the cock.
LMAO, old dude was tearing the house down you go man!! im sorry when i saw that i couldnt help myself so i started dancing. lol. Man, i dont know if it was the blog or the video but something inside keeps telling me to let go. ive always had fears of going to a club. the reason is because i would have to go by myself witch would get me down and depressed. So since i dont have to work tomarrow night. im just gonna make a promise to myself and KEEP IT GODDAMNIT and just go to one and have fun.
and during the rest of the day talk to 5 or more people. and say hi to everybody that walks by. lol
Thanks shogo.
Hey look,,, Richard Simmons has a new gig.
I AM NEVER GOING TO GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT FEELING LIKE THAT AGAIN!
That guy definitely made me smile tonight! Loving his energy! He’s just so happy!!
When I can leave the house again and do WHATEVER I WANT and RUN and DANCE and PUT MY WEIGHT ON MY LEFT FOOT again, I’m gonna party like that every second!
Shogo, I actually like to make faces at women. Some look at you like you need to be in a hospital which is hilarious, and the others make faces back and then you get into a “face-off” if you will. It’s a really good time. I used to do it in class all the time when I was bored. Sigh, good times.
I do not remember where I read it, but it said something like the people who are looking for fun are going most probably to get the girl, rather than the ones looking for sex!