But now that I’ve read your extended scenario – having to make one’s living putting the creative juices to work for whatever narcissist has the money to pay for one’s services – now that would make me crazy, so more power to you. I have enough issues with self-important management pricks and I know that they are just part of a never-ending parade. But to make my livelihood depending on such types? No, thanks. You must have a strong stomach to suck it up and listen to people who CAN’T do what you are doing but think that hiring a story consultant will make them sound better…and that consultant can’t write either or else he would have been hired to do the writing. Must be nice to have enough money to re-write your own history again and again….

But making your living with writing on a project like you describe, you DO require a different persona – that of the observer AND an “absorber.” You don’t have to like the guy to write his story or to actually enjoy his particular style of storytelling. However, it also sounds like you are letting that necessary work persona fallout bleed over into your personal life. Your career also depends, to some degree, on how well you squash a normal response to dumb-shit thoughts or commentary from your latest project and his erstwhile minions. Those things will “out” eventually and I’d wager that this may happen in your personal life – to its detriment – even though they are really related to your current assignment.

At some point on the personal side, you have to engage in your non-work life and stop being only an observer who gets irritated with having to deal with misunderstanding of his work or his point. Survival in your work situation clearly requires a more publicly ‘vanilla’ persona. Being otherwise a self-described “very strong personality” just means that you probably aren’t letting it out enough! So welcome to our world! Let us know when you are done with this gig so that we can see more of the real you!

I’m actually using some of my posts to air some of my old dirty laundry because it helps to reaffirm the changes I’ve made in my life up until now. One of the biggest changes was to correct the behavior I am talking about in this thread, which does relate to the topic.

I am definately more true to myself and to what I want and desire but I still fall for these little traps once and a while. I used to do the defensive thing a lot more often but like you and David always talk about, I have done a great job of just having fun and enjoying the moments that are brought to me. I guess my example is about the one area where it still affects me, and that is my work. The client I work for is a great guy but he is very successful and dynamic in his personality and the whole point of me working for him is to show him what I think about his life and how he lives it. So, in essence it is my job to cater to what he is expecting from me.

But at the same time I know what the joy in writing his story is for me and I follow that when I write, not the expectations. If they happen to clash when we meet up very soon and I turn in the first draft, then I will know that I did all that I could and I enjoyed myself writing it and learning about this fascinating and complex person and I can take all these epxeriences and use them as inspiration for future projects. I won’t sit around wondering what I could have done to make him like the work more, that’s his problem if he can’t follow his own heart.

Thanks for all the great adivce Khiem and trust me I listen. I had to air that one because it was starting to get to the point where I was going to behave according to what I think he wants and posting that story helped me stay true to myself.

Take care,
Mike

You said it yourself… “I just don’t think the majority of people out there are vulnerable or want to be, because they have been so burned in the past”

Most people act the way they act because they are afraid.

Be vulnerable and open up from a place of love and self-empowerment.

When you do so, more likely than not, the other person will reciprocate and show you who they truly are because you made it comfortable for them to share themselves with you.

When you both see each other “as is”, with no pretensions, you give yourself the opportunity for a real and meaningful connection.

As far as avoiding being the only one to open up, that won’t happen if you do it the way I described.

However, if it happens, well so what?

Learn to let go of the fear so that you can truly enjoy whatever (even limited) connection you have in that moment.

You gotta be grateful for the people around you, no matter how things turn out because in the end, they contributed to your experience in life. They helped you create a memory.

You just need to learn to stand your ground and express yourself.

Instead of just expressing what you want or what you stand for only when things in your life are threatened, how about you tell people in advance what you care about or how you feel about certain things.

People are free to disagree with you at any given time in the process of interacting with you but by the sheer fact that you showed them from the beginning what you were about, there is less chances for you to be stuck in a sticky situation of not wanting to offend anyone and swallowing your pride versus telling people how it is.

To get back on the blog’s topic, the blog is really to remind everyone to share and really express what they are about.

A lot of people like to listen and only relate when someone brings an interesting or juicy topic. What is important is to really show the other person who you are, what you are about, what you want at every step of the way.

That’s the only way you avoid miscommunication, unnecessary pains… etc.