Speed Dating – The Greatest Approach Anxiety Killer?

Have you guys ever tried speed dating?

You’ve got two minutes to impress a woman, and then you go the next woman, and the next one, and the next one.

That’s two minutes!

A lot of times guys go speed dating, don’t see a woman they’re really attracted to, and have a piss poor attitude for the night.

These guys are missing a serious trick!

Speed dating is the best place to practice your openers.

That’s right. It’s a great way to have a practice date. It’s a great way to practice your charm. It’s a great way to work on your confidence. It’s the perfect tool if you struggle with approach. If you’re shy or have trouble communicating with women speed dating is the perfect way to beat approach anxiety.

I don’t care if the women are older than you, heavier than you, not as pretty as you want them to be, it really doesn’t matter. It’s a great way to work on your social skills.

I remember years ago I used to watch speed dating events. And I always watched the guys. You could always tell when they weren’t interested in the woman they were talking to. They would slouch, they wouldn’t make eye contact, and they were obviously completely disconnected from the “conversation.”

But guys…

Life is all about perfecting skills so when the beautiful woman you do want to meet walks in the room, you’re able to go and talk to her. You’re able to approach her and sound intelligent, open, engaging, and exciting. You’ll actually sound like a man who actually knows how to talk with women.

Honestly, if you haven’t tried speed dating yet you need to get out there and give it a go!

If you’ve had any good (or bad) speed dating experiences I’d love to hear them.

About David

1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.

I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.

Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.

5 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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anthony

Thursday, July 4th, 2013

nice blog david! i have a question about approaching women. I know one of your methods on approaching women is by using the art of Observation. It has helped me open them up and talk to them with no problem. i have no approach anxiety when it comes to talking with the opposite sex. however, my biggest challenges or when i feel stuck, are times when I'm at a bar or club and i feel that what i observed is not enough to open her.(besides the obvious thats going around me .. people dancing,drinking and having conversations.......I try to find something on them that i can compliment on like their clothes.. shoes.. etc but most of the time i cant)..... so what can i say when i approach her? what can i say that can be genuine and natural??most of the time the girls im attracted to are with a group of friends just talking and having a good time.. or she could just be sitting down with a friend having a drink and talking..... and most of the time im thinking what can i say???.............any advice will be a big help! thanks!

Mike

Happy Birthday, America! :) I think your idea on this "speed dating" is good but not great. I looked it up in my area and found it's more than 2 minutes, more like 5-7 minutes depending upon the crowd. I like also like this part, meeting people and before each date starts, you can write notes about who you met! :) The only thing, I didn't like was the drinking atmosphere because I don't drink and I don't require a drink in me to talk to someone. So I wouldn't be totally comfortable with the situation, but I still might try it anyway! :)

Jay S

This is a really silly idea. Yes, it is good for practice, I suppose, but it is a rather expensive way to practice, when one can go, anywhere, and do it for free. Most events are at least $20, $30 or more dollars. If you are going to do this, go in with a strictly practice oriented mindset. I did an event once. Felt like I connected as much as one can connect in the limited time with five or so ladies. Put them down as a yes to get their contact info from the organizer, and came away with one number out of 18 women I talked to. Found out that was actually a good average as the majority of guys generally come away with nothing.

Adam

Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

I think this is a great idea especially if you are shy or have trouble attracting women. You will meet a wide variety of women and besides practicing conversation skills, you get the bonus of talking to women that maybe you would be scared to approach under normal circumstances. I did an event where I met 8 women in about an hour. Nothing came of it, but it was good practice and not really expensive at all. For about 45 dollars (30 for the event + the price of a drink or two), I had an evening of guaranteed conversation with several ladies. I don't think you can beat that price... I encourage everyone to try it at least once. Then learn from it - one thing I found is that having pre-selected questions in mind to ask doesn't really work. I had 3 or 4 I asked each girl, and instead of allowing each conversation to flow organically, I tended to stick to my script. This is of course before I learned about "he talk - she talk", which is such a simple but true concept... stick to David's program guys!

Daniel Carille

Monday, May 19th, 2014

David, I met my wife speed dating in nyc 6 years ago and we are happily married with a 3 month old daughter. I would recommend it to anyone as It is a great way to meet and practice talking to women. I went on a number of great dates before I met my wife. I experimented with various questions to see how women would respond. Questions such as "if you could be any fruit what fruit would you be?". It was fun to see the reactions and hear the responses. Learned a lot about women during my speed dating days. Dan PS I was on stage with you chasing the laser pointer during David D's man transformation.

Speed Dating – The Greatest Approach Anxiety Killer?

About David

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