Let’s talk a little bit about the monkey chatter – that internal voice that says, “Who is this guy? Why is he bothering me?” That is a constant theme here.

The biggest problem with the monkey chatter is that there are more than just monkeys up there – it’s like a whole zoo! There are apes, gorillas, lions and tigers – there’s a whole brawl going on in your head.

In my twenties, I used to tell people, “You don’t want to be inside my head – it’s like a really bad neighborhood. You don’t when you’re going to get mugged, when you’ll get your ass kicked….” We all have that.

If you’re considering walking over to her but you’re thinking, “Man, she looks like she doesn’t want to be bothered, she won’t be interested,” then you’re giving your power away again to her.

You should never give your power away to another person. You have to start thinking about the small wins in life.

What do your friends think of you? What does your mom think of you? What does your sister think of you? What about people that you work with? You have a lot of people who think that you are pretty damn cool.

You have to start really embracing the fact that all of these people think that you’re a really great person, because you are.

If you have monkey chatter before you go and talk to a woman, it’s because you’ve put her in a fantasy box. Before you approach her, you’ve totally made her a fantasy. You don’t even know her! She could have breath that smells like my dog’s ass! She could be the meanest person in the entire world.

So turn off the monkey chatter, just smile, and relax! One of the best ways to get rid of the monkey chatter is to spend an entire day just walking around and saying hello to everyone.

Keep a scorecard. It’s almost retarded, but it works. Be enthusiastic about it: “Hey, how are you?” Take a book and write down how many people respond favorably. By the end of the day, you’re going to be in the hall of fame!

Think about it: three out of the ten times you go up to bat and you get a hit, you’ll be in the hall of fame. If you complete 60 percent of your passes in the NFL, you’re Payton Manning.

But so many guys are disappointed if they don’t get 100 percent. I meet so many guys who come to take a bootcamp with me, or come from coaching, or even just products – and they want a 100 percent success rate.

But you should see me – I’ll get blown off today, and I don’t even care! It doesn’t even bother me. I don’t care if she doesn’t think I’m interesting.

So you have to build up your confidence, very slowly. By building up your confidence, you can talk to people and actually see how they respond to you very favorably. You’ll find that a lot of people will respond favorably to you every day.

This is one way to work on the monkey chatter. To be honest, there is no instant cure to get rid of it entirely and immediately. The best way to minimize it is to go out there and have successful interactions all day long.

The more successful your interactions are, the more confident you’re going to become as you progress throughout your day. It took me a long time to realize that.

As men, we always seem to be keeping score. The mentality of men (and the stupidity of men) means that we’re always telling each other, “Man, I had such great sex last night, it was the best. You should have seen this girl that I picked up….”

Why are we telling our friends that? To impress them and to validate ourselves. Who should you be impressing in bed? The woman that you’re with. You should be able to talk to her the next day and say, “Oh man, I fucked you so good last night.” Then when she responds, “Yes you did!” there is all the validation you need!

You don’t need validation from other men.