The best way to approach a woman in a bar is to go up to her after the douche bag has just tried to pick her up and failed.

The guy always goes over there with his training wheels on – and not even decent training wheels, but the ones that are squeaky and wobbly. So he goes over and tries his ridiculous line on her, and it obviously doesn’t work.

The second he leaves, you can go over there and say, “okay, I’ve got to know: what the fuck did that guy say to you? I watched him and his friends over there, checking you out and elbowing each other to decide who was going to come over and talk to you. So, just for the sake of social research, I’ve got to know what he said to you – I bet you money he picked it out of some book, right?”

You can play the odds at that point, and say, “did he say, ‘I’m thinking of a number between one and ten,’ or did he ask you, ‘who lies more, men or women?’ Or was he REALLY creative and said, ‘my friend got caught by his girlfriend the other night kissing someone else, would you consider that cheating?’”

Client: Or, “did he say, ‘I have to get back to my friends, I just need your opinion on something…”

But you really could go up there and be curious about something. For example, you could approach a girl wearing a scarf and ask her if it’s okay for a guy to wear scarves. I see all these guys wearing scarves all of the time, and I just don’t know if I could pull it off. I’d kind of feel weird being a guy wearing a scarf! You could just ask for her opinion, if you’re genuinely curious. Then you could see where it goes from there.

David: But you should go even deeper with that and tell a story. Say, “look, I just moved here from Cali, so I’m already wearing some weird shit to begin with. I’ve been hanging out with my buddies today and realizing how crazily I dress, like wearing flip-flops in October…” – you can be self-deprecating with your humor.

And then you can say, “but I have to get this scarf thing down because the other night it was like 40 degrees out and I was thinking about how cold my neck was here!” Boom – she’s laughing, and it shows that you are real and genuine.

It’s an entirely different thing. Instead of these ridiculously manufactured conversation-starters that don’t actually work, this is real.