Big Apple Bootcamp: By Sean

Over the next 6 weeks I am going to be coaching a few guys live on the blog. They will be uploading videos and audio of there attempts to meet women. I will be also uploading audio and video everyday in the comments section helping them on their journey. So make sure that you check back a few times a day to read the comments.
This is going to be a blast coaching these guys right in front of all of you.

So let the journey begin.

Hi guys. I’m Sean. That’s not my real name, but seeing as how I’m about to start revealing some very personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences with you, I’d rather not let you know exactly how to trace me. No hard feelings?

I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself. I’m a 21-year-old college student and I’ve only had 1 girlfriend my entire life. I haven’t even had flings or casual hookups…in other words, I’ve only been with a single girl. Until 6 months ago, I was absolutely convinced that I was simply not the kind of guy that could attract most girls. I thought you either had it or you didn’t, and sadly I felt that I was destined to have a very few number of relationships in my life, all of which I would be forced to make the most out of. All of that changed when I stumbled upon the seduction community this past August, and I realized that the ability to attract women, like everything else in life, is something I can learn, and get extremely good at…if I practice.

Fast forward to last week when I took my very first bootcamp with David Wygant, and AJ & Jordan from the Pickup Podcast in NYC. I learned so many things from the David and the other coaches that it would take far too long to recount everything. Instead, let me give you a taste of a specific area that I was struggling with before the bootcamp, and one which I now feel I have a strong handle on.

I have been good at initiating conversations with strangers for a while now, but I would always keep it very superficial, and would never create attraction with girls. Worst of all, I never closed the conversation effectively by getting girls’ phone numbers. In my head, I could never rationalize asking for their numbers because it would feel too forced, awkward, and therefore have a small chance of success. It’s no wonder that I’ve only had 1 girlfriend– I’ve never even tried to get phone numbers of new girls that I encounter every single day.

On the morning of the 2nd day of the bootcamp we were walking in the Union Square street fair, and Dave was demonstrating how he walked up to vendors and started conversations with them about their artwork/other products. As a group of 4 or 5 of us were looking at a particularly interesting series of paintings, I noticed 2 young attractive girls walk by us.

Before they walked away I asked them “have you ever seen artwork like this before?” They looked at each other for an instant and then quickly responded by saying that they hadn’t. I started telling them how I’d lived in New York City for most of my life and I still have not seen artwork quite like that. They asked me what part of the city I grew up in and before I knew it we were in the middle of a normal conversation. I can usually come up with talking points that are relevant and intelligent enough to maintain “small talk” with almost anyone…it’s taking the conversation further that I have trouble with. After about 5 minutes, and finding out they were both sisters and studying at a university in the city, I sensed the impending moment where I would run out of ways to keep the conversation going, and the only thing left to do would be to abort.

Sure enough, that is exactly what happened, and I said something like “alright, well enjoy the rest of the street fair. I might see you around on the next pass…” Clearly, I lacked the ability to effectively close the conversation and arrange for a way of contacting them in the future.

David taught me how to be extremely observant of people during the day, and start conversations with them about things that they are already thinking about (and will thus be relevant to them at that moment). The next key component is to actually listen to how they respond, and then take the conversation from one point to the next naturally based on each response. After only a few minutes, I learned it is critical to say something like “you know it was great talking to you, I’ve gotta run but we should definitely continue this conversation later.”

Then I would take out my phone and present it to her in such a way that it is clear that she should put her number in it. While doing this I say “put your number in my phone and I’ll give you a call sometime” in a slow, clear, and confident tone. The important thing is that I’m not asking if I can maybe have her number. That would show neediness, low social value, and uncertainty that she would even want to give me her number. Why would a strong, confident guy that has lots of women in his life even stop to wonder if women want to give him their number when he already knows that they will? Women enjoy his company, of course they’ll give him their number!

On Sunday some of the coaches helped me pick out a new pair of sunglasses and new pair of shoes. When we were in Armani Exchange I noticed a female employee folding some clothes by herself, looking quite bored. I immediately approached her and asked her to give me a lesson in folding clothes, because “I can never get it to look that nice.” She laughed, and it reinforced what David said about being playful and having fun with them in the moment.

She started showing me, but then her co-worker came and she said “oh, Joanna is actually much better at it than I am.” I took that as a perfect opportunity to start a conversation with Joanna (who I was even more attracted to). I asked her to show me how she folded the clothes, and she was pretty responsive. I was able to ascertain a good deal of information about her once we entered a normal conversation. After about 5 or 6 minutes I told her that my friends were about to leave but I would like to talk with her again. I took out my phone and said “here, put your number in my phone and I’ll give you a call sometime.” She complied without hesitation. Not only did it boost my confidence to new heights, but it also gave me an incredible sense of satisfaction. It was really one of the first times I had gotten a phone number from a girl that I was attracted to and otherwise would NEVER have gotten.

As for now, I’m going to continue to go out there and approach women as often as possible. The best part is, I’ll be sharing my experiences with you along the way, and hopefully getting some insightful feedback from David as well. Until then, have a wonderful day, and don’t forget that no matter who you are, you have a lot to offer to any social interaction, and people would be fortunate to gain the opportunity to spend time with you. This is in fact the mentality you will need to have if you want to become desirable to women.