Ask Me If I Care
June 24, 2010 
17 Comments
Go ahead, I dare you. Ask me if I care.
The other day, I was walking down the street with Sonja. This guy came up to us and said, “Do you like poetry?” I looked at him and said, “No.”
I just didn’t feel like being hassled. Whenever I’m walking down the street, I’m walking down the street to get somewhere — maybe to get some food or to go to a shop. I might just be walking the dog, but I’m usually going somewhere.
I don’t like being harassed when I go somewhere. I hate being asked for money. I think it’s crazy.
I hate these guys who want to play music for you. I know they’re trying to hustle, but I’m just not in the mood to be hustled.
This brings me to my point for this blog, which both men and women need to understand.
Every man I’ve ever coached wants to know how to meet women on the street. They want to know, “How can I stop her when she’s walking? How can I stop her on the street and meet her?”
What I say to the guys who ask me this is always the same thing: How do you feel when people stop you on the street? It’s irritating.
Now, if someone tries to casually talk to me when I’m window shopping at a store, I might engage in conversation and I might not. To be stopped when I’m briskly walking down the street to get to a destination, however, is annoying.
It’s just like the man today who asked us if we like poetry. That was annoying.
To all the guys who are just so obsessed with meeting women on the street, why don’t you just stop a woman and say, “Excuse me, do you like to be picked up while you’re running down the street?” There are so many people to meet. Don’t bother people when they’re walking.
You can smile. You can say hello. If they respond, maybe a conversation could ensue. Otherwise, most of us are just going to a destination.
When we get to that destination we’re relaxed. We’re happy. We’re in a better place to probably communicate and talk.
Well said David.
Hi David,
Agreed. And well said.
David, Do you care?
I usually let those people that walk by me pass,I’ll say hello but that’s about it.Much rather flirt with the shop girl or a girl in a store looking at something.Over the years, I’ve had people (strangers) stop me and ask me for car rides,money,cigarettes (I don’t smoke) and people asking me to buy them for them! It’s crazy. I’d never ask a stranger for anything except her phone number
That is well said my friend.
Kevin
That sounds reasonable:) And its a lot better than cigarettes and all the other stuff.
Why is everyone saying well said, c’mon I’m sure you have more to share with us:)
Remember, sharing is caring:)
I think that’s what pua’s look like when they try to pickup women hardcore in the street.
@Jacob- I will keep that in mind:)
I usually get stopped by people who tend to support a good cause, like cancer,etc. Sometimes I stop and listen, but most of the time I ignore them. When they are done talking they usually want me to fill in a form to support the cause. I say no and they get stuck on me like leeches. Very irritating.
However, if its a cute girl, I try and talk about other stuff. Just to have a fun, flirty conversation.
I never stop people, unless I need to ask for directions or what time it is.
Definitely agree. Maybe just a smile or even a simple hello would be ok, but keep going. If she says hello back and slows down or hesitates, that’s the time to start taking it further. I’m really not a fan of the interruption tactic that a lot of people use. Great stuff.
This blog is funny! It reminds me of a time when my g/f was walking towards me. I see her coming at a distance to me… and at the same time, i see a guy trail her for a while… then gets the courage to walk beside her to give her a compliment.
My g/f was polite and thanked him for the compliment but was totally weirded out by him. She was like: where did he come from? He was coming out of nowhere!
And as soon as the guy walked away, she came to me in a loving embrace. I wonder if the guy saw that. I wonder how he felt afterwards LOL
Khiem – I must admit I have also been a bit wierded out by who get too friendly on the street.
Totally agree with it being a bit strange to try to pick up in the street. Although in 50 First Dates, there were some original ones!!
To make eye contact and even be aware that someone is out there is unfortunately very rare in these days of busyness and even paranoia.
When you are sitting down reading or in a cafe, or choosing a book or groceries… be open, look up, smile… you would be surprised how many genuine people there are around!
Cathy, what’s your story? How did someone weird you out?
So if you see a woman you’re attracted to, but you feel like you may never see her again, you would not stop her? Are you supposed to just let her go or just pray that you meet her at another point in time where she’ll be receptive to you?
Annonymous,
If you feel THAT strongly about her, you can sure try to stop her and talk to her. No one is telling you not to do it. If you feel it, act on it. But the truth is… isn’t there already a lot of good looking women you can meet through your daily interactions?
What does it say about you when you get so attached (aka outcome dependent) to the idea of meeting this ONE woman you saw walking down the street? Are you putting her on a pedestal already when your mind is going “OMG, I HAVE to meet THIS woman” when you really don’t know anything about her yet.
Khiem but what if you don’t see beautiful girl throughout your day? I mean it is kinda weird if you talk to a random girl in a store as well isn’t it?
It’s only weird if you make it weird.