A lot of people think that they are takers.
Many people – both men and women – start dating somebody and they realize that all that they really want from the other person is sex, and they start feeling bad.
They start thinking to themselves, this is just a sexual relationship – I don’t want to give them the wrong idea.
And then they feel like they are taking something from the other person, and they begin to feel really guilty about it.
In reality, you’re just experiencing that other person. There are no promises being made. The other person might be just taking from you as well.
For all of you that cut your experiences short because of guilt, here is a word of advice: the next time you are dating somebody and you think that they are falling for you, realize that they might just be experiencing you as well.
Here’s another word of advice: the next time you are dating somebody and you’re just fooling around and having some fun, why don’t you ask them where they are at? Ask them what they want from the relationship.
You might be surprised. They might also be just enjoying you sexually. They might be just enjoying getting to know you. They might also be using you as an experience.
Of course, I’m not talking about using people in a cold or callous way – I’m just telling you to be a little bit more upfront and to stop assuming that the other person is falling in love with you.
You’ll know it when someone is falling in love with you. You’ll feel it in your soul, in your heart, and in every inch of your body. You’ll feel it in every conversation you have together.
So stop with this ego. Stop with the ludicrous way of thinking. Stop worrying so much about the other person. Start enjoying the experience of another person. Start enjoying the gift that the other person is giving you.
Who knows what you might learn?
In todays video we go over how to get out of your head and enjoy the opposite sex.
Lose the monkey chatter forever!! I also go through this in depth in my no excuses product which is a must for anyone who wants to turn off the negative voices.
Click here for details.
This is a great post David. This is a problem that’s plagued me quite a lot in my dating with women. Overthinking things and assuming I know what the other person is thinking. Taking things easy and being relaxed about the time you spend together is key.
I’ve had an experience that might be interesting to think about in relation to the above post. I do a lot of outdoors stuff: skiing, rock climbing, hiking, mountaineering, whatever. I moved to a new place ~2 years ago and didn’t know many people to do things with. So I started dating this guy “for fun” who was also very outdoorsy and we went on some really fun trips together. But I didn’t see any long term potential for the relationship and he was just dating me for fun also. Unfortunately, after about 6 months, we got into a pretty bad car accident, and while he was fine, I was pretty badly hurt. Lying in my hospital bed, I would have liked to be reassured by the presence of someone who I knew really cared about me. But instead, I was thinking about how this guy would probably break up with me now because I had some broken bones and wouldn’t be able to do outdoors stuff for a while. Since I had been hanging out with him so much, I didn’t have many real friends to fall back on. He didn’t break up with me, but he certainly wasn’t the supportive person that I would have wished to be with me during that time. Eventually, I broke up with him. And also got almost all the way better. But I guess my point is, that it is really cool to just be hanging out and having fun with someone, but anything could happen, and you don’t necessarily know when you will want people around you that actually care about you. If your life is filled up with frivolous people, then there isn’t that much room for real people in it.
David, I think I needed this blog. Thats one of the things that really did plague my thoughts when interacting with a girl : Am I being fair? Is she going to want more than what I do? I don’t want to hurt her by being less serious than she wants to be.
And of course this leads to monkey chatter (its a good term) when you interact with them, and then you wonder why they’re not so interested as you thought they might be.
The last 3 or so years of my life have been with girlfriends, where its either ended up she getting hurt, me getting hurt, and I just need a break for… well till I fell better about it. At least this blog has made me get rid of the unnecessary guilt when hanging out with people casually.
David,
Sinn has challenged you to a boxing match for charity. Are you man enough to meet him face-to-face, or are you a little coward?
All I have to say about this is that we all need to focus on enjoying the experience.
PU GAy
Do you see what name you used.
Pu Gay.
That is about how I feel about pickup artists and there dumb knicknames.
Sinn and a boxing match are you for real.
This man teaches people how to meet women and he wants to box.
What a class act.
He needs anger management help he really does. And i feel sorry for him and the boys who he teaches.
No idea why this sinn person has such anger but i know a great therapist for him to call.
What if the money went to charity?
would you be up for it? There are people who are willing to pay to see this cause it would be actually quite funny
(ps. you can´t help someone until he´s willing to accept help…sure you can insult him)
“Sinn and a boxing match are you for real.”
I think this is as real as cancer.
Sinn said it was going to charity.
Wait I smell something….. Really strong too… Is that fish? Or is it just pussy?
David Wygant wont fight some little pissed off pooha for CHARITY?
Sounds like some guy who has a vagina between his legs instead of the world’s premier dating authority.
I mean they both talk smack about each other like it is the end of the world or something.
Don’t you know that there are people starving in Inglewood? The money could be put to a good use.
Come on DW what are you MAN or BOY?
Rey and I will fight the same day and I LIKE Rey.
Come on it is for CHARITY and you will get your name out to sell more products.
well, David, I am not trying to be the party pooper, but your posts/articles usually are tinged with a “male” testosterone driven logic instead of reflecting how things really are from both male and female prespectives. they are gered twords making men feel “empowered”, but by unrealistic and improper means. naturally, I am a female, and I don’t buy this bs you wrote above. enjoy the experience? women of today are not very good at holding back sex because they think that’s how they will get love. after all, everyone is doing it. they feel somehow that if they hold back they will lose the guy. they make it too easy. although we should (not the best word) enjoy EVERY present moment and experience, (not just sex) it should never be irresponsibly and at the cost of someone else’s emotional investment. if any man feels guilty ’cause it’s just for the sex, good for him, he probably has a conscience. listen to it, indeed. because being there just for the sex is called “using”. talk about users and takers… “So stop with this ego.” (haha, your conscience is NOT your ego, you got it backwords) “Stop with the ludicrous way of thinking.” (that’s called concience) “Stop worrying so much about the other person.” (yeah, be narcissistic and selfish)” “Start enjoying the experience of another person. Start enjoying the gift that the other person is giving you.” haha! that must have been cathartic. is there ANY man who does not enjoy that experience??? (sex) but any man I would go to bed with would have to earn the experience. I don’t give away anything without getting back the same. that’s fair. the “getting to know” and “experiencing” people should be done not just in bed, but way before you hit the sheets. unless, of course, you are just playing the field, in which case you should have the guts to say so from the begining. see how far that would get you. you don’t seem to know much about women yet, so here’s a hint: we are usually after love, and we might give sex to get it. yes, that is reality. have you heard the saying “women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex”? if women would stop being afraid of being rejected for their honesty, that is what you would hear them say. (even if we enjoy sex just as much, we attach different meaning to it!!!) every man is a potential prince charming to us. it’s biology. blame the big bang. (haha, big bang!) we are wired differently. any woman who plays like a man with you, will play like a man with everyone else. you’re not special. sorry if that is harsh, but that is reality. do you have ANY idea what we girls talk about in the restroom? no, it’s not “let’s all have lesbian sex!”, it’s about how men don’t give back what we need. I hear all my girlfriends complaining about how great the sex is, but you don’t call, forget their birthday, your ex still calls you, and you won’t commit. then they cry. David, it’s really too bad you leave out the fact that we are all multi-layered, multi-faceted, multi-dimentional beings and that sex is the icing on the cake, there are other important things and give and take can be rather a complex concept if not properly understood. “I’m just telling you to be a little bit more upfront and to stop assuming that the other person is falling in love with you. You’ll know it when someone is falling in love with you. You’ll feel it in your soul, in your heart, and in every inch of your body. You’ll feel it in every conversation you have together.” what bs. this is so untrue, and to make it simple, men don’t have the most acute intuition/perception, especially not horny guys. c’mon! you don’t even like the sound of the word “feelings”. we live in a society, in this age, where relationships have become comodities, (for free sex) and connections are too superficial to be meaningful. you keep going around like that and very few will find real meaning and fullfillment, no matter how you will try to convince yourselves. I am talking to men and women. David, live a few more years, and you will understand. you’re the nation’s leading personal coach? no wonder so many people are miserable in love. (I am not blaming you, because you are just a product of the environment as well) why does a man “need” help knowing how to “pick up” women??? what men “need” is self-respect and self-esteem and knowing when not to fall for quick scams. if you practice David’s tips, you *might* “pick up” more women, but guys, quantity is NOT quality. although if you are starved, you might not care. if any of you guys is “plagued” by doubts with regards to being fair to your girlfriends, why don’t you fess up about your intentions and have a *talk* about your “feelings” with your girl. be honest. have the guts to tell her what you really want. women are very understanding and accomodating. that would be fair and real. and finally, David, for your information, I specialize in LONG term relationships. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 yrs, and I won’t marry him because I don’t want to. (I am waiting for you. haha) David, in the meantime, careful with that “advice”.
AmericanGothic is a long winded cunt
Brava! I’m working up a response to another post of his. My readers will find it amusing.