I usually warm up my voice before I start the day sometimes by talking, sometimes by singing in the car at the top of my lungs! Warming up helps to get the energy flowing and I am ready to start talking when I get to work or wherever I am going.

You’re right about David’s voice, Infinity, it never wavers in his videos – very authorative. I find that when I speak authoratatively I seem to project more energy and get better response (of course).

You can’t be afraid of the thoughts you want to share with people. Confident people aren’t afraid of speaking their mind… whether they are right OR wrong.

I think that many people here who are low talkers are often the extremely shy who don’t want to project a loud and authoritive voice because people might hear them. They may think that people may not agree with what they say or they may find that someone might be listening to their conversation w/ the opposite sex and don’t want others to know they might get shot down or that they even took the courage to attempt a conversation.

It all starts with self confidence. When you start to talk to someone you should do like Infinity says above; if it is important for you to say something then say it like you mean it. Make sure those who you are trying to talk can easily hear you and they don’t have to ask you to repeat yourself.

so important to project well not just dating but in life.

people going to treat you so much better when you speak with conviction.

it is said greatest sex organ is her ears:)

I wanted to first thank everyone for their responses to my posting placed in “overcoming dating shyness.” I know I was openly raw and brutally honest, because I know of no other way to be, but I had wondered if there was such a thing as giving out too much information too soon. But I know now despite my challenges with oral fluency, I’m not alone.

This posting particulary hit me hardest than most. At the latest NSA conference which was held in New Jersey, I had the honor of presenting a seminar called “A is for Attitude,” which I was going to empower and work with people who stutter who struggled with their self-esteem, myself included. If you saw me five years ago, you would have known I was never capable of pulling something off. But in front of forty people, I did. I entertained, but most importantly, I encouraged everyone to get involved. And I heard from so many people that my semianr was one of the most entertaining, and I’m going to do it again when we hold the conference in Arizona!

I know I stutter and I say that loud and proud. When I see someone new at these conferences, I’m the first one to give them a big smile and shake their hand. But it’s all about HOW I do it. The smile is big, the handshake is FIRM, I FOCUS on their eyes, etc. That’s the kind of man a woman wants to know. For so many years of my life, I was in the zone, and I’m not talking about the zone Britney was in. I was so alone in my negativity zone. If you are in a negative zone, GET OUT! I guarantee if you stay there, you’ll transform yourself into a person no one wants to know, or even want to see. Hindsight is often 20/20, and I wish I learned this lesson sooner. I would eat by myself, travel by myself, and people can smell a vibe that no one wants to be bothered a mile away. The smell is unattractive.

I will close on this theme. We had an author in attendance who published a book called “Tending to Grace,” about a teenage girl who stuttered. The theme was, “If you don’t tell the world who you are, someone else will do it for you and they’ll get it wrong.” Make sure you tell the world who you are!

Steven Kaufman