Are You A Low Talker?
September 30, 2008 
12 Comments
There is a disease sweeping the nation, affecting men: it’s called Little Voice.
Do you have Little Voice?
Everything you say in life should be spoken with authority. You have to be authoritative with every word that you say.
Let’s say, for instance, you’re in the middle of a bootcamp, as we are right now while I’m recording this blog. There’s a group of about ten of us heading down the stairs, and this woman starts to walk up the steps in front of us.
Of course, we could say anything to her: “hey, how are you doing?” “what direction are you going, my friends are always in the way!” – anything.
It doesn’t matter WHAT you say; it’s how you say it. It’s all about having a big voice. It’s how you project your voice.
You never want to have Little Voice.
You have to say everything with authority, like you’ve said it a thousand times before. That’s what makes you a natural when it comes down to meeting women.
When you say things over and over again, say them with authority.
How do you do that? How do you say things with authority?
Start practicing! There’s an exercise that I tell guy s to do all of the time – take a mini digital recorder and start talking. Start reading stories, start saying sentences: “hey, how are you doing today?” “How are you today?” – things like that.
Then replay everything you’ve said. Listen to how you speak. Would you respond to yourself? If someone was walking towards you and said that to you, would you respond?
This is something that you need to ask yourself: how do you say things?
The reason that women don’t respond to men often times is because they are suffering from Little Voice. Little Voice is the worst thing to have.
The next time you see a woman, project your voice. Learn how to speak, and learn how to project.
Although body language counts for more, that doesn’t mean that your voice counts for nothing.
Clearly, whatever you have to say is important – or else you wouldn’t say it.
So act like what you’re going to say has significant importance, which it does.
Your voice can convey so much strength and confidence if done the right way.
Think about it. If you watch any of David’s videos, do you ever hear his voice waver? You can just tell that he has strength and confidence. Those of you who have gone to his bootcamps could vouch for me in saying that his voice is one that you just have to listen to and believe everything he says.
This is a simple thing you can work on this week and practice with everyday activities, in front of a mirror, or with a recorder, like David suggested.
The results will be significant.
Good post, David.
Interesting…
I think there’s not just Little Voice but a whole family… Little Posture, Little Strength, Little Handshake (yuck!), Little Everything!
I got chopped for Little Everything in dance class this week. It was HARSH. Sometimes we need harsh.
Let’s work on Big Voice, Big Posture, Big Strength, Big Handshake (that’s the easy one), Big Lead
Hello everyone, and good evening,
I wanted to first thank everyone for their responses to my posting placed in “overcoming dating shyness.” I know I was openly raw and brutally honest, because I know of no other way to be, but I had wondered if there was such a thing as giving out too much information too soon. But I know now despite my challenges with oral fluency, I’m not alone.
This posting particulary hit me hardest than most. At the latest NSA conference which was held in New Jersey, I had the honor of presenting a seminar called “A is for Attitude,” which I was going to empower and work with people who stutter who struggled with their self-esteem, myself included. If you saw me five years ago, you would have known I was never capable of pulling something off. But in front of forty people, I did. I entertained, but most importantly, I encouraged everyone to get involved. And I heard from so many people that my semianr was one of the most entertaining, and I’m going to do it again when we hold the conference in Arizona!
I know I stutter and I say that loud and proud. When I see someone new at these conferences, I’m the first one to give them a big smile and shake their hand. But it’s all about HOW I do it. The smile is big, the handshake is FIRM, I FOCUS on their eyes, etc. That’s the kind of man a woman wants to know. For so many years of my life, I was in the zone, and I’m not talking about the zone Britney was in. I was so alone in my negativity zone. If you are in a negative zone, GET OUT! I guarantee if you stay there, you’ll transform yourself into a person no one wants to know, or even want to see. Hindsight is often 20/20, and I wish I learned this lesson sooner. I would eat by myself, travel by myself, and people can smell a vibe that no one wants to be bothered a mile away. The smell is unattractive.
I will close on this theme. We had an author in attendance who published a book called “Tending to Grace,” about a teenage girl who stuttered. The theme was, “If you don’t tell the world who you are, someone else will do it for you and they’ll get it wrong.” Make sure you tell the world who you are!
Steven Kaufman
If anything, a have too BIG of a voice sometimes. After months of going out, I often times will forget that I’m not inside a loud club and will practically shout at people, lol.
Ha ya, I notice that sometimes too Taras. I definitely speak with a stronger tone after going out alot, but I generally don’t think its out of place. I think im just more used to speaking with more authority and power. Practicing with women really does affect all areas of your life.
great post.
so important to project well not just dating but in life.
people going to treat you so much better when you speak with conviction.
it is said greatest sex organ is her ears:)
It is great to see you back Steven K.
I think that many people here who are low talkers are often the extremely shy who don’t want to project a loud and authoritive voice because people might hear them. They may think that people may not agree with what they say or they may find that someone might be listening to their conversation w/ the opposite sex and don’t want others to know they might get shot down or that they even took the courage to attempt a conversation.
It all starts with self confidence. When you start to talk to someone you should do like Infinity says above; if it is important for you to say something then say it like you mean it. Make sure those who you are trying to talk can easily hear you and they don’t have to ask you to repeat yourself.
I like this post. It’s all about expressing yourself confidently and owning the very words you want to say.
You can’t be afraid of the thoughts you want to share with people. Confident people aren’t afraid of speaking their mind… whether they are right OR wrong.
I like how you said the practice it with the recorder, David. That’s a good idea!
I usually warm up my voice before I start the day sometimes by talking, sometimes by singing in the car at the top of my lungs! Warming up helps to get the energy flowing and I am ready to start talking when I get to work or wherever I am going.
You’re right about David’s voice, Infinity, it never wavers in his videos – very authorative. I find that when I speak authoratatively I seem to project more energy and get better response (of course).
hey, what a great little exercise. I will definitely do that right now – lucky my new phone has a cute little recording program. its actually a great way to spend all those little breaks during the day where normally people get stressed up – like being in a traffic jam! I love traffic jams, because I can take a break from a busy day! Or I could do some voice exercise!
I think if you don’t have speaking skills, then you can practice them by just going about your everyday business and talk with everyone you meet. Having conversations with everyone helps you not only to converse better, but you may even become knowledgeable about things you knew nothing about. As far as projection of your voice, just having confidence in who you are and that you are worthy of being listened to helps you make the right impression. Relax and enjoy life. As you may have heard in church, This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!
Hi
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