Deeper Bragging
By David Wygant
Have you ever met the man of your dreams . . . or maybe he’s the man of your nightmares? You know this guy. You’re on a date with him. He starts talking about himself. Then he starts bragging . . .
He starts bragging about the stuff he has. At first he might bring up the kind of car he drives. Then he may tell you about the house (or houses) he owns. He has even produced a movie. You sit there listening and nodding your head, while he hasn’t listened to anything you have to say.
Then, all of a sudden, he goes into another mode. He shifts from bragging mode into what I call “deeper bragging” mode. Deeper bragging involves talking about some of the super-great things a man has or has done. Perhaps he has a horse who won the Kentucky Derby four year ago. What a stud he is!
What a man in deeper bragging mode will brag about may vary, but as he continues to talk each thing he says escalates into deeper and deeper bragging. Mr. Deeper Bragging never listens, often because the woman that he’s talking to is young enough to be his daughter.
That woman doesn’t usually care if Mr. Deeper Bragging listens because he is just a meal ticket to her. The thing about meal tickets, though, is that they are often accompanied by wonderful repetitive cycles of deeper bragging.
With every sentence, the deeper bragging escalates in his efforts to impress this young woman. Really though, how hard is it when you’re a 50 year-old man to impress a 20 year-old girl? It’s not really too hard.
Mr. Deeper Bragging doesn’t get it though, because do you know what happens him at the end of the night? Mr. Deeper Bragging ends up all alone in his big house with his bottle of KY Jelly going from deeper jerking off to watching deeper porn on his 68-inch plasma television set.
Mr. Deeper Bragging has no clue that the key to meeting women is not just bragging. You have to lose the deeper bragging and learn deeper listening skills.
Todays podcast is all about taking action in your life.
Are you a talker or are a doer?
Which one are you and how to take control and become a doer!!!
Hmm…talker? I guess I sometimes am a talker. I particularly like to think things over, think about all the possible outcomes,…and maybe never do it. I think one of the ways to get more spontaneous is to try to plan less and just act on things. Excessive planning means living in the future, but not being in the moment. When you live in the moment, you cannot really over-think things, you can just act. That’s the only thing that you can do in each particular moment. This is a concept that helped me a lot in being able to enjoy the moment – even if it’s still a way to go and I still fall back into “planning-worrying mode” sometimes.
Markus;
Very well said. I agree. I think when you put to much thought and expectation into things you miss the moment, as well as set yourself up for disappointment if not deep hurt within from your “dream man” /woman
gone awry.
Braggers are beggars in my mind. If you have to brag about the wealth you’ve accrued or how hard your c%$# can get? Chances are there is some fuzzy math not to hard to cum to a conclusion….its all a smoke screen.
I believe in being proud of our accomplishments. Lets face it…we are all flawed in one way or another, but there is a great ness to every single one of us.
That great ness will shine through naturally and humbly. There is no need to brag to impress. I will never understand it.
I know a woman…I will leave her nameless in case she reads this..lol ALL she does when you are at her house is brag about “my this…let me show you my….” You take a tour of the house everytime, go see her jewelry collection, which is very gauty to me. I am not a big rock wearer. Simple and delicate is fine…not pricey as hell and make you have to prop your hand up due to the heaviness…lol.
Ahhhhhhh just be yourself for God and everybody elses sake. Life is a lot easier that way!
gaud
David,
This was such a great podcast. I couldn’t agree more with the phrase “Life rewards action.” You posed a great question to us–What are you doing now to change (or whatever) your life? Doing not talking!
Again man, thanks, you should do more life talks like these.
Dan
Very interesting topics today.
They spew words at you in the hopes …. I guess to impress you, or have you like them … they can barely wait for you to finish your sentence before they start talking AT you again . And just as David said ” they haven’t listened to a thing you’ve said”!!!
Have you ever been at a party and someone barfs all over you?? Not literally
When I find myself in a one-sided conversation , I’m certain that the uninterested look on my face has to be telling them how badly I want to get away from them…. most braggards wouldn’t notice. Luckily I had all of this explained to me as a boy with one simple statement that has never left me. ” if you do something well enough people can’t help but see you”
The people I enjoy most seem to always be the modest types, and coincidentaly they are usually the MOST interesting.
I liked what Markus had to say about over planning and living in the moment . Some of the best times I have ever had were not planned. ( Last month I was in an Orlando Gay bar singing Karaoke “save a horse ride a cowboy”)How on earth could you plan that??
and Joan you said it so well … it is easier to just be yourself :-0
David,
One quick question for ya. You know how sometimes your in a great, happy, talkative mood and conversation and everything flows wonderfully, and then other days, its been a long day, and your really in a boring crappy mood. Well my question is how do you rise out of that crappy mood when your in it and you know that you want to get out of it? Whenever Im in that situation I basically try to fake like Im really interested in whatever.
thanks again! Dan
Dan
When you walk into a place…..you are there for 5 minutes.
Leave the bad mood in the car and realize that life is a stage and people are always watching and looking.
You can look at life in short bursts and that way all you need to do is be on for a few minutes at a time.
Jeff;
Thanks…yep I know I have to be me, and who likes “me” has made a wise decision…LOL and who doesn’t…their loss
haaaaaaaaaaa
That sounds horrible, but really I like “me” love me even…and would hang around “me” if I wasn’t me…LOL Hey, that actually makes sense…to ME it does
I’d say in many respects I’ve been lucky in life. This makes it hard to brag, as luck isn’t something we directly have control over… While it seems that I’ve been “stuck in the head” for most of my life, I feel that I’ve made good progress in balancing that with the heart… (Maybe it’s more accurate to say I’ve been taking the muzzle off of the heart, and have been learning to let it express itself and to listen.)
In the past I was sufficient at ‘doing’, but somehow lost touch with that aspect. I recognize that it’s now time to (re)integrate the ‘doing’ with the head and heart… I’m finding this easier said than done… It believe I’m at my best when I’m part of a team… and I currently don’t have a partner…
David,
It appears that you found a balance that works for you, whereas ‘talking’ is a large part of your ‘doing’.
David,
Im a dreamer, not much talker, but I definitely miss the doing part. This is my public confession..My target is to change that and be the man of my words.
I wanna change that by simply starting doing things, like the NIKE slogan, just do it.
I could not agree more that your words and trust are the important things that you have in relationships with other people.
Thank you for the great podcast and as Dan said, have more such fantastic talks.
Have a great day all here.
Joan:
Do you feel this way all of the time? Do you have days when you find yourself not liking yourself as much ( I’m betting you can make sense of that statement) …. maybe you give in to a selfish desire and it ends up affecting others in a negative way? The reason I ask is because this is something I struggle with.
Yesterday was the first time I went to Whole Foods and I saw this gorgeous woman (think Maria Menounos) that more than topped my scale. But I was frozen — my first thought was she was just too good for me. The second thought was my social conditioning that says nobody just goes up and approaches somebody for no apparent reason. These two thoughts really held me back, and it was just too easy not to take action. Hearing the podcast made me realize all the garbage inside my head that’s unnecessarily holding me back, especially Khiem’s remark that “life rewards action.”
Jeff;
I always love myself…but there are days when yes, I don’t like me or being around me but I am stuck! lol I think we all have those yuk days if we are truthful to ourselves.
As for giving in to selfish desire? No, my problem is in giving into SELFLESS desire, and wanting to please a person. I give too much of myself, and some people take the kindness for granted, act as if they are in the right for being an ass and I end up getting hurt in the process.
I never believed you could show someone too much respect, but after my recent encounter….that concept is pretty much bullshit. It is just very hard when you have been led to THINK they respect you and what you feel, think , say…..for them to end up being the type of man you would have NEVER in a million years pegged them to be.
It hurts….maybe I am too sensitive, but I do not like vagueness, nor do I like someone who is ultimately full of shit. Those are probably my ultimate pet peeves……A vague, mysteriously distant all blow no show man. If a person is going to crawl into their world of wonder and never let anyone in? They are headed for a lonely old age with no fun ahead.
Jeff, for the most part…I feel good. I am now in a brand new, and I do mean brand newly built area of Austin. There are a lot of singles in this area so they tell me and I am seeing for myself. Thats a good thing to know
I intend to enjoy life as always and roll with the punches when they come. You can bet…I will not suffer a TKO for sure. I have in the past…the recent past even, but fron those you learn when to “BOB & WEAVE!” 
Joan,
.
I like your attitude. Some people choose to withdraw and close themselves up after being hurt and others like yourself come away wiser for the next time
No wonder you like yourself .
Jeff;
lol Well geez…”next time?” Ok yea who am I kidding?! lol There will be plenty of nest times I am sure before SNAP!!! Woo Hoo C.O.M.P.A.T.A.B.I.L.I.T.Y. cums knockin on my door…
You know, maybe I should withdraw sometimes…but i did that for too many years…I think I am in recession…or consession….or succession??? One of those “sessions!” He he lol
Jim C.:
) but nice guy….”Mom are you done? Lets go ahead and go.”
You would DIE if you came to the Whole Food Headquarters for the world here in Austin Tejas…..MUY BUENO!!
There is the largest variety of Whole foods Whole Men and Whole woman you ever did see!! Woo Hoo! Unbelievable really Sho Nuff did enjoy myself until my son came and interrupted my conversation with a younger (probably a UT student
Do I look like I am done…stick a fork in me and know…I have just started to cook! LOL
Nest times?? LOL HAAAAAAA YES you guessed it…I have been watching the Barn Owls again
I’ll got back to something I said to a blog a few months ago: The suit doesn’t make the man. If it does, he’s not a man, he’s drycleaning.
David Wygant,
Maybe what I have to say may interest you:
I read this blog a couple of times to try to figure out if there was some sort of deeper meaning, which I felt quite sure that there was.
Anyhow, after the third time, I just tried to figure out which I may be in the dating world to others. I would not say that I am much of a bragger right off the bat, also, I prefer to get to know someone pretty well before I pass my judgement on them, which I eventually will.
I realized a few more things that I find rather important to disperse to you; I have been on the opposite side of a “Deeper Bragger” In fact… Quite often do I get stuck at the other end of the table to one-of-those people. I wish I could avoid it but its just not as possible as I thought. I felt that maybe my problem was the “type” of people I had been attracted to… rather than their age range and what they do for a living… because quite frankly I never cared about those sorts of things unless they really were apparently doing nothing with themselves…
THEN I think I just came to some sort of belief, based on what you posted, that it could possibly be that the people I have been attracted to just do the bragging thing because they really do “THINK” that they can impress me somehow by bragging. Bottom line is, I am the younger person interested in the older people who think that bragging somehow will keep me interested…
Heres a slap in the face huh? I must say Mr. Wygant, this “bragging-method” us younger people supposably fall for and get impressed by is not always the case at all. If someone spends a date strictly talking about themselves (and yes the person on the date is older than me) I simply say “wow, interesting” and I pay for my share of the meal and NEVER call them again. This way, I make it clear I was never in it for a freaking “meal-ticket” and they can hopefully get the hint that they are not the stuff of the century because they have a freaking career and look good.
The only thing that got me interested in the men in the first place, aside from the basics people are attracted to, was the fact that they truly looked interesting, and i figured that MAYBE, just MAYBE they would have some things in common with me and we could have a great time, just like any other couple.
I found it rather insulting that you posted these lines here:
“With every sentence, the deeper bragging escalates in his efforts to impress this young woman. Really though, how hard is it when you’re a 50 year-old man to impress a 20 year-old girl? It’s not really too hard.”
Well, sometimes it just may be harder than you think!!!!!!!!! I really wish that more people could understand that some of us just cannot help who we are attracted to! Really though, if it is that hard for me to find someone that will take someone like me seriously then I would be more than happy to just sit back, relax, wait till I get older and focus on more important things than “deeper braggers”.
And I must add, that it is not unusual for people that far apart in age to date for a while or fall in love with each other. Heck, my own family wanted me to date the family friend who was over 30 years older than me… I declined because it seemed bizaar considering how long I had known that person and how little we had in common. I do not find it morally wrong to date people that far apart in age, but I do respect others opinions on that matter.
I am not trying to be major hostile over here but I just really wanted you, and possibly even other readers to understand my oversized amount of frustration that compiled over time and caused me to feel the urge to sit here and respond to this…now… at about 4:00 A.M.
I have yet to be impressed by any of those braggers and I have never even felt the urge to use someone I went on a date with. I cannot believe that the 20-somethings age range are tarnishing the dating lives of people like me by falling for that kind of bull!!! It is appalling and unreal. I finally understand why most men that try that hard are in denial when I walk right out of their lives. They call again usually, and try again, though I just don’t answer.
Wouldn’t you say that if someone like me was after the money and automatic love/lust whatever the F***, then I would have stuck around and used the poor guy?
Without further ado, I hope that whomever reads this and feels the same way as I, can help to keep the 50 somethings from thinking they can get the 20 somethings interested and in the sac based on what they look like and do. I do believe there are sites for users called sugar mama’s and dada’s. Fools. Geeze.
We are currently in a recession, not only in our economy, but we are also having a recession of people who care, who are compassionate and want to try! This, my fellow readers is a travesty.
Thank you David Wygant, and Readers, for taking the time to read what I had to say.
Most Sincerely,
Annoyed.
Hey “Annoyed”,
you published an interesting post. I guess, though, you probably draw a misleading conclusion out of this post/blog comments. What David points out here is really the fact that bragging is NOT a good way to get to know someone and that it is, just as you said, quite frustrating to sit in front of someone who is talking about himself, his world and his achievement all the time and you still have to chew down that whole food plate before you can finally leave…
I just experienced that on an 11-hour flight from Europe to Atlanta (actually right now sitting in ATL terminal waiting for my connection)! Sitting beside a woman who told me each and every one of her extensive travel experience was definitely NOT among my favourites. Sitting in a plane makes it worse, because it’s quite difficult (well, not impossible) to jump out of the window and leave…
So have fun and see you soon on the blog!
Markus
Hey Markus!
Thank you for the reply,
Perhaps I did jump at that one, It was just the fact that I hate the stereotypes about us twenty-somethings always being impressed by the older men we are attracted to, or using them as meal tickets. Beyond that, the blog was not totally a bad one, he does post some interesting blogs with different perspective on things.
I am deeply sorry to hear about who you have been associating with during the flight! That is a rough one. I had to chuckle a bit though, hey, after all it did give you something to share with us. Hmm… did you pick up anything good from her travel experiences? Perhaps, bring larger head phones and remember to take an extra shot before your next flight? Kidding, kidding…
Cheers to you for being able to put up with that one!
-Not so annoyed any longer.
Hey Not-So-Annoyed-Any-Longer (do you have a real name, by the way?)
well the meal ticket theory is just so funny. Actually i know quite a lot of girls who are doing that, but I could never be mad at them for doing so. Would you reject a free meal? I wouldn’t!! Plus, I can tell you, NONE of these girls carries not even a minor spark of respect or attraction for that man. That’s how it goes – if men brag and buy expensive meals all they’re trying to do is mask the low self esteem they have and essentially “buy” the woman’s attention. But anyway, who rejects a free meal
Actually during my flight i had these enormous headphones on, but the lady had no respect for that. I mean that was ridiculous. I’d never do that to anyone…I should write a book about her life, or maybe post a long blog entry about women bragging. By the way a bragging woman is at least as annoying as a bragging man, i figured out. As you already proposed, a huge shot of tequila before liftoff next time should get me in a mood to accept almost any story
cheers
Markus
Hello Markus,
Yes I have a real name, you can e-mail me if you want penguinsRus567@aol.com So we don’t have to keep posting on here
I have a friend who doesn’t mind using people either, I guess people get kicks off that.
I don’t know if it is a downfall of mine or a positive, I have not figured this one out yet because it could go either way, but I actually don’t like free meals from random guys…at all(it may lead to stalking and aggression). I would let a friend of mine go halves or buy me a meal now and then as long as I can return the favor. If i like the guy I am dating, then sure he can get the tab, that is great, but if I am not digging the guy, I don’t want to waste my time, his time or hard earned money, and i’d much rather move on.
I am probably one of the most independent people in my age range you could meet. My mother raised me to work hard for my money and try to be mature about things. I don’t live with my parents, I work hard, go to school, have my bills to pay, own a car…etc. Not to ramble on like the lady on the plane.
Anyhow, It is shocking you still had your head phones on and she still didn’t mind! Was she an elder lady? Most times they do not even look at you while they talk, especially if they are sleepy. I think i’ll try that tequila thing also, but mainly for jet lag avoidance matters. :-p
So you say who rejects free meals! Do you ever? Hee hee.
-Sara.
OOps!! I just realized you already told me you would not, so scratch that last question! :-/