Another Trip Into The Friend Zone
June 15, 2010 
10 Comments
It seems like it’s all I hear: friend zone, friend zone, friend zone. I’ve done blogs on the friend zone. I’ve done podcasts on the friend zone. Nevertheless, I still get emails practically every day about the friend zone.
How many times do I need to tell you guys that the reason you end up in the friend zone, is because the woman never looked at you as a sexual being. She’s never felt that you turned her on sexually and emotionally.
It’s all about how you got involved with her in the beginning. Instead of asking her out, you said, “Let’s hang with a group of people” or you would just kind of run into her over and over again. You acted like a friend.
If you want to get out of the friend zone, the next time you first meet a woman you need to ask her out. You step up to the plate. You get some balls and you ask her out.
If you’re friends with a woman and you have a crush on her, stop. Ask her out. You can always go back to being a friend again.
If you’re a woman who’s stuck in the friend zone with a guy, look at him and say “Look, I have feelings for you. I’d like to explore this more. Are you up for it?” If the guy is not up for it, he’ll tell you. He’ll say he enjoys the friendship.
Do these things so you no longer have to email me and tell me you’re stuck in the friend zone. Do this so you can move forward. So many people waste time pining away for people they’re never going to have.
So today your challenge is to get out of the friend zone. Approach those two people in your life with whom you’re stuck in the friend zone, and either ask them out or state your intentions.
The real reason why you’re friends with them is because you’re hoping one day they will wake up and fall in love with you. So why don’t you take control of it? Get out there and do this today.
Great blog,
The picture in this blog is just AWESOME..lol
A friend of mine once told me: “Looking for something, prevents you from actually seeing it”.
He told me some signs women show when they are interested are dilated pupils, flushing of the cheeks, stroking her hair. He told me that if you go looking for these signs you will actually miss all the other subtle ones.
When we are interested in the opposite sex, we send thousands of subtle little signals.
Ditto with Farley – I like it!!
Farley – I totally agree with your friend – looking for something often makes you miss seeing something.
Also as with men – look at what she does, not what she says. Attraction is firstly intuitive or unconscious so watch out for obvious and subtle signals …
then once we become conscious of it, we can to let it pass by or go for it!
Cathy,
Sometimes its so subtle and happens fast without us realizing it. One time, I was talking with a girl I know, and I was looking for the pupil dilation or any other kind of sign from her bodylanguage. She was communicating with me though, through her voicetone and the questions that she was asking me. The ones that she already knew the answer to.
I got a question.
When a woman asks a man “what are you going to do later on today” or “what are you going to do tomorrow,etc”,is she just showing genuine interest or is she suggesting that the two of them go hang out?
This is an excellent post. Frequently, when we find ourselves with a guy who has put himself in the “friend zone”, we are actually aware of his yearnings, but it is uncomfortable and awkward and feels like it’s supposed to be some big secret, so we politely ignore it.
There is also something sort of unattractive about someone who implies, “I am attracted to you and would like to go explore that, but I am going to make you do all the work because you are not worth even the smallest effort of being up front and honest about what I would like from you.”
My policy…Never, Ever, ask a girl out (which gives all your power away, and puts her in total control of the situation then, and later during the date, since you are the one doing the “asking”) Always suggest a really interesting event that you are already planning on attending, and ask her if she would like to “join you”. You are going to have a great time whether she comes or not, so it is her loss should she not want to join you. If she can’t figure out your intentions, by this type of scenerario, move on…
BOB AND KELLY!!! LOVE IT!!!!! YOU ACTUALLY GET IT!!!!!
Today I had a conversation with a classmate of mine who has many female friends and he currently is in a serious relationship.
We were talking about the type of girls who like men to chase them.
He told me he loves women who play hard to get, but there is only one problem though, he does not chase these women.
He told me even if he was single,he still would not do it. Its just a waste of time.
wow, powerful post as I am currently in this situation. Friends with a former co-worker, known her for 8 years, been pretty close friends for the last 2-3 and it appears as though it may now be going in a different direction.
it seems as if we both want it, and in the past things have happened, i guess its time to man up and talk to her about my feelings.
hmmm the friend zone, Im a Jr. in highschool, and started talking to this girl for a few days in class, was just the two of us in class for those days. I let this girl know I like her even though she had a boyfriend of a year and a half. She said good friends for now…. She breaks up with him a week later. Got her# over FaceBook, lame I know. Now she’s playing hard to get… Let the games begin I suppose
Wow, that’s amazing Kelly, i am in the friend zone with a girl i like but she has a boyfriend she told, me but she still somewhat cares how i am wanted to check on how i was feeling cause i told her i had a headache, very playful txting me. But never mentions here boyfriend to me, but i am woundering if i should tell her my true feelings to her that i like her. Or should i keep in and not tell her.