Air Words And Why You Are Not Lebron James
January 23, 2009 
45 Comments
In basketball, sometimes you just miss the backboard, you miss the net, and you miss the hoop. Air balls happen in basketball, and air words happen in life.
You see something, say something and no one says anything. Or maybe you go into a store and ask, “Hey, how much is this?” but everyone ignores you. Nobody hears those words. They are air words.
We’re sitting outside the market right now, and a woman just tied up her dog outside. So I made some comment like, “Hey, we won’t steal your dog,” trying to be funny, and she just said nothing. She didn’t even hear me.
In this situation, most guys will start to evaluate it and think to themselves, “Oh, I did something wrong!” But you didn’t.
If your voice tone was great, you said it with humor, and you owned the words, it doesn’t matter. They were just air words – nobody picked them up.
Not everyone is just sitting there, waiting for words to come out of your mouth. Don’t look to other people for acknowledgment or validation. Sometimes in life it’s just about trying. It’s just about the air words.
For some reason yesterdays video was the wrong one. Love technology!!
Today here is a sneak peak into my members site that just launched last night.
Air James!!!
Great advice David
ops…King James
Yeah, I’ve done that a lot, I’ll admit that – it’s all down to validation. This is way beyond women and dating. The most ridiculous thing is when the other person doesn’t hear you, you unconsciously think it’s disapproval.
Sometimes you just have to stop, take yourself out of auto-pilot and realise the reality of the situation… realise the fact that you were not heard. Simple as that.
Thanks for the post.
This is a GREAT analogy for all of us. It brings to mind how Shaq always took a lot of flak for his astoundingly poor free-throw shooting ability – especially compared to his skill at shooting from anywhere else on the move. You may do very well at some things in terms of social skills but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to improve on a particular skill that may be the difference in being able to use your other skills! If you can’t get your foot in the door, other people will never have the opportunity to see who you are and when you’re NOT all psyched out and nervous.
We all need to figure out how to see the difference between a practice stroke and a successful hit and we shouldn’t let an air ball deter us. It’s only the first step on a continuum and the more practice strokes we take, the more likely it is that we will connect on future attempts. When my father taught us sports as children, he used to say, “In all things – first form, then accuracy, and then speed.” When you rush things without one of the first two, you will not be as successful as you might have been otherwise.
Aaron
I think this might have answered what you asked about in the last blog.
I know with myself I am preoccupied I do not hear anyone, you can stand right next to me and I would not notice. I sometimes tend to immerse myself in things that I don’t notice anything around myself, have often forgotten to eat a whole day.
Aaron
one more questions I have aa almost 14 years old, is Dave’s things making a lot of sense to young boys. Input others, if you have any input in this regard.
Have a nice night
Great Blog
There are times when people are thinking of other things and do not hear you. This is what I call the zoning. If someone calls my name and they don’t let me see them I don’t hear them. No offense intended. There are times when I have things on my mind and try to keep up with what I am supposed to do.
Marina…….I’l start from the top and make my way down…..
I guess your right on my tone there , and jumping to conclusions how could I forget. Its just seems like every girl that I have been on the go with come to me and my success with going to them was terrible, well at least it was terrible until Ive saw one of Davids videos on youtube. And yea it is possible that she wasnt really paying attention at the time when I talked to her but, all the signals I was getting and when I did approach I thought for sure id get a response. Shes a year older to so when shes in her cirlcle with her older friends its way harder to approach if u can see where i got abit frustrated. The next blog did explain possibly why I never got a response though.
To answer your question on if a few of my buddies or just teenage guys in general could understand what he is teaching i’l have to say yes. Simply because everyday Ive noticed the samething using Davids tip on observation. That the few guys that are doing most of the things being taught on this site, like smiling confident all of that are the ones being successful, and the shy guys or the jerks are the ones that arent.
Probly 5 years ago I was a absolute jerk , and well i realised that i shouldnt be. I became just like a really nice shy guy. That was working a bit better than being a jerk, but it didnt allow me to be that cool funny guy that I am around my buddies , or allow me to show girls that I do love the things i do in life such as sports and hang with friends.
So i guess im telling you this because I want to show you that i am understanding wats going on and i am willing to bet that some of those shy guys or jerks would love to know this stuff to. There 15 now but it wont be long until they are an adult. So why not teach us. Just like David says , conversation is a skill, conversation is a art…haha
TTYL, hope this helps
oh…. when I say Dave i mean everyone that did and helped make this site…. thanks to you all!
David, I still exactly remember when you threw those air words in front of Whole Foods. That’s one of the unforgettable lessons I learned from you: “Misses happen in life. Let it be.” Lately, I realized how much difference your life can change just by changing your perspective.
A couple days ago I set up a date with a girl, but she never responded when I called to confirm the day before. Normally, I would’ve been self-analyzing, “What have I done wrong? Does she not like me? What can I do to make sure that this date is still on?” Instead, I took the half-glass-full approach and did exactly what David described in this article, “I asked her out with confidence, being friendly and non-threatening, and she said yes with enthusiasm. I’ve done my best and I’m not gonna worry about things that I cannot change.”
After the weekend passed, I found out that there were a series of weird coincidences that made her phone unreachable. Moral of the story, “Don’t worry. Let it be.”
David
I was looking through past videos and I have a question. How do you pick up a date in the cemetery? I laughed til I cried. Lets see count dracula that would b a good one or Elviria who knows. Wanna go ghost hunting see you in the graveyard at 12 midnight in which that will be 10 pm ur time. lol are u having fun yet? lol
Easy Sandra, you are a predator and taking advantage of another person being fragile. It happend to me recently, first the sympathy the starting to say things you used to hear from some one you loved and before you know it you fall for the person and find out you have been played like a fool. I know players but there are rules of engagement even for them, you just don’t prey on someone that is so a fragile state of mind. Ok venting here.
Did you see the wedding crashers Will Ferell makes a great PUA at funerals.
Great evening to every one
Marina
Who is the predator me? How can I take advantage of someone who is fragile? I don’t even know you. Then if u think about it you also can be a predator in ur own way. I am not preying on u either. Just like everyone here on the blog I can vent also but I have some people who don’t take very kindly to me.
Has it occurred to anyone that I have feelings also I am also human. God did not exclude me from emotions. I myself have been through living hell from the time I was seventeen to the time I was 43 years old. How would u like to be talking to ur attorney and tell him the one u plan on divorcing that I could have gotten him on vehicular homicide. You know I was told something once by a guy nobody cares but for number one.
attempted vehicular homicide.
U know I have struggled in life and if it were not for Lord Jesus and what he had done for me I don’t know where I would b right now. I know it is not ur problem and who cares anyway. But maybe that is some people’s way of saying we don’t want u here. Just venting. Had to get it out b 4 Dan the Original says something.
Sandra,
I for one enjoy your off-beat posts. I also like Steven K’s posts, have not seen him for a while.
J-Dude
Thanks man but who is Steven K? Are u going onto David’s new site? Just curious.
Sandra said “How do you pick up a date in the cemetery?”
With a shovel.
Sorry.. I couldn’t resist that one.
I think Steven K was the name… he had some speech issues and would truly bare his soul in here. David has a new site? Sure, I’ll go there if he pays me!
Adam
Do u remember the movie the Shinning in one of the scenes Jack Nicholson was in the bathroom and this beautiful woman comes in there and they started to kiss and all of a sudden she turned into one ugly ghool. Can u imagine?
Sandra
I know you say you don’t care what others think, but you really mention Dan quite often, he must be getting to you anyway. Why even bother answering him, i think he just is doing it to get you going. Your response is his reward, you don’t to justify why you write the way you do. Let it go, release him out of your system
Marina
I don’t know why I want to put a g at the end of ur name. That is what I plan on doing. Right now I am going through some issues. Family problems that I don’t want to discuss ok. No offense taken.
Sandra
I was referring to a guy… Not you. You were asking how do you pick up at a cementary. Come girl cheer up seem a little touchy of what I say. In a previous post crazy was ment in no way negative. Seems you are not feeling to good.
Sandra
You know there are plenty of people if you feel like talking alright.
Everyone group hug to sandra
Lost me with a g at the end of my name
Marina
Instead of typing Marina I was wanting to type Maring that is all
I believe I work with some of the dead myself. Wal Mart on Charlotte Avenue in Nashville TN is built on top of an Ancient Indian Burial Ground. I can tell u some wild tells if u want to hear them. Lowe’s across the way was where the Confederate Soldiers roamed during the Civil War.
Alright, take care of you self, did you ever see the wedding crashers Will Ferell was funny as a PUA at funerals. Give your self some tlc.
Sweet dreams everyone
Marina
Nite Nite sweet dreams to u
Marinaa, you were righttt…..okay so there was a dance tonight here and anyways i figured id try some of the stuff ive learned out again…., I walked into the dance and yea I owned it , i built up momentum, talked to every girl in there right from the “get go”….. the girl that i thought had ignorred me that day ,,, well i talked to her to ……, the wholee night, i danced with her like 5 timess, and i only asked her to dance once…., woww,, and when i was talking to her i asked her about today and she said she was in her own little world, baha…..anyways this is the last time youl be hearing from me cause im kinda starting to take up alot of the space on the blog and theres more people then me. your advice helped alottt!
Best of luck with this site….thanks
Air Words has happened to me on a few occasions. Earlier this week to be exact. I was at a Coffee Bean (for the free wi-fi) sitting at a table in the center of the place and the line got kinda long where there was this girl standing right next to me. She had been studying at another table and I was about to ask her what it was that she was studying when she began to simulate a dance. I was quickly intrigued and she could sense my watching her. She was so enraptured in her dance that I didn’t want to interrupt. I finally spoke up and asked, “You need a dance partner?” No response. I heard a few giggles from some teenagers sitting in a table behind me, but that was it. I’m pretty positive she heard me and perhaps felt a bit embarrassed, but I don’t know for sure.
The middle aged man sitting next to me made a comment, saying that was “ghost-dancing.” Never heard that term before, but apparently it’s common. I don’t even wanna bother googling it. Anyhow, I was thinking about going to her table afterwards and saying something like I hope she didn’t think I was teasing her, I was simply intrigued by her moves, but i began talking to the idiot next to me who went on to tell me how the government is trying to screw the world and the banks want all the money. This jackass had me listening to him for a while as I watched the dame pack her things and leave before I could ever say another word. That moron is gonna pay.
Aaron – you’re so lucky that you can learn this stuff at your age! Hope you’ll come back and tell us how things are going because the rest of us need to be reminded that there’s too much out there waiting for us to experience it…if we will only take a chance – on ourselves. Happy hunting!
MAC – FOCUS!
It will never happen again, K. If I ever have the privilege of seeing her again, I’m gonna disclose everything I mentioned above to her. She’ll surely get a kick out of it. She wasn’t even all that pretty, although her body was. But that’s not the point. I wanted to practice my communication skills. She could have taught me how to dance!
Mac
Who is the bigger “moron”, or the “moron” who listens to him. You did try with an icebreaker points f that. Getting stuck in details, you refer going to this Cafe for free Wifi, maybe it’s me but that Mawould never be interesting if someone had a conversation with me. Relavant would be their great specialty coffee or the interesting crowd etc.
Dan
Atleast someone picked up on my MarinaTheNotSoOriginal I don’t what is scarrier that, or that I amuse my self with it or that someone picked up on it. She just had a darker shade of grey day.
Aaron
You think you are done now, now it really gets confusing and fun. We will you back here…besides it will be fun with some younger input. Read between the lines you thought hockey moms were agressive Try Date Moms trying to help their teen son.
K
Wise she is !!
I had an air word but it went to my advantage. I went into this place where I had to show my id. I slid it under the glass and came in through the door. I walked in and the person who took my id, looked up and smiled (she was interested). So she put my id on her desk and slid it across to me. It shot off the side and hit the ground.
Now, her idea of a flirt was this “ooooh. I am such a bitch.”
So my reply was, “Thanks. Now I know I don’t have to waste my time on you.”
It went into the air and didn’t get caught. She spent the next ten minutes bugging me to tell her what I said and that made it even more fun for me. I kept saying, well I guess you have to learn to start paying attention and respect other people’s id’s if you want to hear what they say.
Sorry, just a funny story. She gave me a clue into her personality right away and that made it easy to walk away. She was cute, but I am not going to waste my time on someone who is proud she is a bitch.
Mike
I find air words to be funny.
so many people going through so many emotions, so yea I never expect people to respond to me favorably every time. My thing is to have fun with it.
A.Movie- thats very funny story `
Marina,
I agree with you. The entire time I was being polite to this retard while thinking how do i get this guy to stop. I finally packed my things and got up and left, but the freak was still talking to me as I was walking out. Poor guy needed someone to listen to his rants. He had mentioned his wife had just died.
Okay, I’m over it. It was a learning experience.
here i another way me might think about the world.
B Beautiful
I Individual
T that
C causes
H hardons
Always this in terms of the glass being half full, not half empty
Marina
That was cute about the understanding of BITCH. I like that.
David,
“In this situation, most guys will start to evaluate it and think to themselves, “Oh, I did something wrong!” But you didn’t. … They were just air words – nobody picked them up.”
Hm, well, I think that’s only partly true. Sure, a guy or girl in a similar situation didn’t do anything wrong, and there’s really no reason to start blaming themselves. But if they said something and nobody picked it up even though it was information other people were supposed to hear and react to, something clearly didn’t quite work. So if it’s not done with the intent to blame oneself, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad idea if they asked themselves why they couldn’t get through or if they did, why the other people chose to not react. I think that would help them improve their calibration.
Marina- nice break down of the word “bitch”
David, like the concept of “air words.” It actually does happen and it’s fine. Sometimes, you’re just not heard. Freakin’ Lebron James will shoot an air ball once in a while. Jordan has missed dunks in his career. Derek Fisher can’t make a lay up. I mean, these things just happen and it’s ok.
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