How many of you have gone out there and really tried online dating? I’m talking about going on a site and really hitting it hard.
Do you know about the 80/20 rule in life? In life, 80% of the people fail and 20% of the people succeed.
These success percentages carry over into online dating as well. Do you know why? It is because most people don’t understand exactly what is needed to succeed in online dating. In particular, most guys don’t understand what is needed to succeed in online dating.
First, men who are successful online daters connect with women emotionally. Most guys don’t understand why that is important, and don’t know how to do it if they do.
What most men do is put some pictures up of themselves and then list things in their profile. They don’t create a story in their profile. You need to create some type of store to engender an emotional response in a woman.
For example, let’s say you are someone who has been on vacation in Italy. You could write in your profile, “I love Italy,” but so what? Who cares?
A lot of people would care if you wrote about it in the right way. They would care if you instead wrote this: “On my trip to Italy, I cruised up and down the Positano Coast. Let me tell you something. If you’ve never experienced a sunset in Positano, then you’ve never really experienced a sunset in your life.”
Do you see the difference? The difference is that you’re creating an emotion. You’re creating a feeling. You are creating something inside people that is going to get them really excited.
Another thing you need to realize about online dating is that is it really like a giant bar in the sky. Just because someone didn’t respond to you on Tuesday, September 22nd, doesn’t mean they’re not going to respond to you three weeks later.
They could be dating somebody else, flirting with somebody else, or whatever it might be. So I always tell people to email someone again. The key with this, though, is what you write when you do it.
Don’t cut and paste your first email (or any other email message). Go into their profile. Walk into their life a little bit. Read through it — even read it out loud — until you have an “Aha!” moment and see something that really resonates with you.
Say their profile says, “I love running on the beach with my dog. The funny thing about it is that my dog runs around in circles, and sometimes I think he’s going to get dizzy and pass out.” You have that “aha!” moment because your dog does the same thing.
So you could write an email that has has the subject line, “Wondering what would happen if we ran around…” Then in the body of the email you would write, “…in circles like our dogs. It’s funny, but my dog does the same exact thing and sometimes I wonder how she doesn’t get dizzy. Remember when you were a kid and used to spin in circles until you got dizzy? Maybe we should try that with our dogs one time 
”
What happened what that you related to her by sharing a story about your life that pertained to something in hers. That’s how you get better at online dating. You need to look at it as a conversation.
There’s so many women out there. Take advantage of that and find women with whom you can connect. It’s really important, though, to connect by relating in a a conversation.
Read every email response you get from a woman out loud so you can relate to it like you’re in a conversation with her. Form your responses by thinking how you would respond if she said it to you in a live conversation.
Online dating is really all about a conversation from the beginning. It’s no different than flirting in a bar, at a supermarket or anywhere else.
If you want to learn EVERYTHING about how to succeed at online dating — from how to create an online profile, interpret women’s profiles, how to contact women online, to EXACTLY what to say to intrigue them … as well as what specifically will attract the women online and get their attention, then be sure to check out my video product “Secrets Of Online Dating”
Online dating corespondence is a conversation- and your advice for more “voice” in an email is well suggested. However, you hinted at the truth in online dateing: there is an abyss of women (and men) out there leaving the singles to remain forever single – with too many choices.
As a woman, I hope each and every man out there reads this blog!!!
If a man did even one of the things David is suggesting here, I’d notice him out of the sea of men online in a heartbeat!
thanks Dave, and keep instructing these guys on the truth about women
Great advice and on the point.
A few things that we push is honesty and humor. Beaver can’t stress enough how important it is, especially for men, to be honest in their online profiles and emails.
I can’t recommend online dating enough. If the bar/club scene is not you then this is the place to be. People can get to know each other through conversation rather than through alcohol-fuelled pelvic gyrations.
I’ve always been terrible in such situations and never enjoyed them. Then I decided to check out online dating and within 2 weeks found the girl of my dreams. We’ve only been at it 9 months but this is definitely someone I feel I can have a real future with and I know the feeling is mutual.
Awesome blog, David. I think all the guys on those sites should read it. I have gotten so many canned messages that show they took zero time to actually read what I had to say. I am also curious as to how guys think I would respond to an email that simply says, “Hi.” (Here’s a hint: I don’t, lol). I know starting a conversation is not always easy, but if he shows he is at least trying, he is more likely to get a response!
David, I just started to use your idea of sending emails with titles that end with ‘…’. Let me tell you, great idea…it definitely grabs the attention of the top 5% of women to read my emails over the 100s of other ones that they get. Before, I used to just make interesting titles which received limited success. Using clever titles with the curiosity of ‘…’ works well over 50% of the time. Thanks!
Curiosity is the driver behind most of our endeavors