Are You Living in a Place That Feels Like Home?
January 12, 2012 
45 Comments
Are you living in a place that feels like home?
I want you to look around your house, and I want you to ask yourself: if my dream girl came over today, would this house represent who I am? Is this furniture a statement of who I am? Is the artwork that’s on the wall a statement of who I am?
Is the lawn furniture in the living room a statement of who you are? (Those are for those of you that never really decided to get a couch.) Does your bathroom resemble who you are? Does your bedroom resemble who you are? Do some of you live in a place that you used to live with your ex, and all her stuff is still around because you were too lazy to get rid of it?
Where you live represents very much who you are. Are you living in a neighborhood that represents who you are? Are there enough things to do in your neighborhood that keep you busy? Are there enough people like yourself that you can meet? Is there a market that you go to in your neighborhood that you really enjoy? Does your neighborhood represent who you are?
Does your city represent who you are? Do you enjoy where you live? Are you proud to say you live in that area? Does it represent the lifestyle that you want? Is it the climate that you want? I want you to take a look at where you live today, and I want you to ask yourself: is this where I want to be? Am I around people that I want to meet? Am I living in an area that I’m proud of? Am I living in an area that I really enjoy?
If the answers are too often “no”, then I encourage you to move to an area that inspires answers that are more often “yes”.
Being really happy with where you live and living in a place that really represents who you are as a person, is a big step in meeting like-minded people that you can date and enjoy. So look around your surrounding and ask yourself: do I live in a shantytown with people that I do not connect with or do I live in the place of my dreams? Your choice.
Wow, my answer to most of these are surprisingly Yes.
Inside the home is usually not an issue as I love to keep a clean home, and I always have cool and interesting things out for people to look at and be “curious” about.
My room doesn’t look like a typical college frat guy’s room. In fact I was thinking, if I were James Bond, how exactly would I set up my room? So I’m proud to say that my living space is very refined and sophisticated, although the simplicity of my room makes people think that I’m either just moving in or moving out!
I love my city! In a way, I guess it does reflect who I am as the city is smalltown but bustling! There’s a lot to do around here and people to meet. I like the people around here, and there’s never any shortage of attractive women… especially actresses and models.
It’s humble and has a lot to offer
The only two things I don’t like is the horrible drivers with their huge BMWs, Maserati’s, and Benz’; and freezing weather! But that’s just in general.
I’m a poor graduate student, so ya, my place looks like a place a poor graduate student would live. Mismatched furniture, but a nice bed, small cramped space, nerdy posters. I’m happy with it now, won’t be happy with it once I have enough money to have nicer things.
Ok, seriously,,, what kind of advice is this?
Most people have a thing called BILLS,,, and paying those bills requires a thing called a JOB.
You can pick up and move to another city, if you don’t need to work, and have unlimited resources to travel, otherwise, you need to find a place to live. And you need time to look for work. ( last time I checked, jobs aren’t growing on trees right now.) Plus, you need to have the unlimited resources to pay, the car payment, the car insurance, the credit cards, the other payments, ( like my motorcycle, or other toys ), you still need to eat. After that, you have to pay the security deposit, and first month’s rent on a new place, ( or a downpayment on a new home) after you eventually find a place. . Then, you have to pay moving expenses,( I would have to move my two cars, my motorcycle, can’t drive them all at the same time), plus everything else. Oh, that’s right,, you can’t pay all of these things, because you haven’t found work yet, and you quit your current job in your crappy town.
Sure, you can do this if you are very wealthy, but most single people are not. Most single people are living paycheck to paycheck. ( except what they have saved for retirement).
My point is, this is very hard to do unless you are a millionaire, or you have the kind of job that can be done anywhere. Most people don’t. Most people have debt, and living expenses. I know I do.
I hate living in the Cincinnati suburbs. I would love to live in a big, 24 hour town, where there are lots of things to do, and a big singles scene. But a move for me is a LONG way off.
umm give that one a thought i live out in the country of the state of tennessee…i live in a quiet place. but there is one thing i need to do is get this place straightened out and get rid of some memories…move forward oh in my town where everyone knows everyone i can meet some people. i work in retail and have seen some guys come in and want to date them but i need to get sandra straightened out first then i can move on from there.
I’d love to live in NYC penthouse but I really can’t afford a 10,000 a month rent.
John, if everything you said is absolutely true than how come there are people who aren’t millionaires living in a house they love in a city they love?
Great timing, David. I am 400km south of the city that I normally reside in. This magnificent place is Albany, Western Australia. Albany has again won an award for Australia’s best beach.
I am back here hunting around for a house to buy. I am REALLY nervous about such a big move. I have three children to uproot in this move. I need to get back to my roots and what ultimately expresses me best. My eldest was born here.
This small city of 32,000 has paddocks that meet the coastline. I need the ocean and the rural lifestyle. Thanks David for reminding me why I need to move back here.
@Kevin @John @Brian: Those are the kind of limiting beliefs that keep you living where you are.
You don’t need to be a millionaire to live in a place that you love! I’m not a millionaire and I live a block from the beach. I don’t even have a car, but I found a location where you can get everywhere by bike.
It’s all about your DESIRE. If you want something bad enough, you’ll figure out a way to make it work. YOU’LL FIGURE IT OUT.
I’ve always wanted to live in a big city where everyday i have something to do. It’s been like that since i was a little. There’s just not a lot to do here in good old johnson city, tennessee. But we have been getting a lot of people from up north and out west coming down here for jobs so hopefully the city will start having more community stuff. but one day when i get stable, ill make that big move. maybe out to NC. or nashville.
No, Dan,,you miss my point.
I’m saying it is difficult for someone with debt, and a job to just pick up and move to another city. That is MOST people. (myself included)
Ok Dan,, example.,,
I would like to move to Las Vegas. Based on this article,, I should just go. Right? But wait,,
If I move there,, I don’t have a job.
My job requires me to live within 50 miles of the greater Cincinnati area.
Ok,, get another job in Vegas, right? No,,,
I need to make around 70k / year. My current job pays about that. Is there a job waiting for me in Vegas, that I am qualified for, and is open, and willing to hire me? No.
Ok, so I would need time to look for a job. I need about six months of expenses paid to hold me over while I look.
I need to pay,
The car payment,
The car insurance,
My bike payment,
The three credit cards,
Gasoline,
Food,
Clothing,
Utilities ( assuming I already have a place in Vegas),
Car maintenance,
Moving expenses,
…..
Do I have the money saved to cover these expenses, ( plus more) for the next six month, minimum?? ,, not even close.
now you tell me Dan,, can I make this move?
My home most definitely feels like home. When I renovated the condo I bought I had it redone just the way I wanted it to be done. My hometown is kinda boring, but now that I commute to Boston almost every day, I appreciate having roots in a peaceful place. I’m pretty sure I’ll want to move someday, but for now my pad is home base and I’m proud of that.
Oh, and before you say something silly like, “sell the car”,, ever hear of something called “depreciation”? You can’t sell a car you are upside down on without the money to cover the difference.
So getting out of debt, for the time being is impossible.
Granted If I never created the debt, then moving would be easier. But, too late. Most people have debt, and obligations and can’t just ” move somewhere the’ll love”.
well, i know this is off topic but i gotta vent for a min that keeps bothering me. today i let one person get to me and i dont know why. As i came into work i decided to sit in the lobby and try and talk to people who ever was in there since it was a new job and i barely know half of the people in there. i walked in and saw 3 women sitting down, i walked in and said “hello” to everybody. then i sat down in the computer chair since there was only 4 chairs in the lobby.
while i was sitting one of the girls made a comment about a commercial. it was the cheetah commercial when the cheetah is at the construction site, listen to music while one guy dances, then another guy comes and asked them if they was having a party and they said no and slams the door, then the guy could still see them and the cheetah says yes we know. yeah that commercial. well apparently i reminded her of that commercial because i wasnt invited too their party that they was having. then she started laughing, said so who invited you to the party? OUCH, really!! all i said was Hello and come at me with that, and the thing is she was the only one laughing the other 2 didnt even smile. so fuck you that wasnt even funny.
but it still hurt, and i let it affect me the whole day. i even asked if i could get off early, because i didnt even wanted to be there. it feels like 2011 all over again.
John, you can look for a job in vegas and keep working the job you have right now.No one is saying to quit your job and hitchhike to vegas.
That’s why I said you’d have to do some planning.
So, once you found the job in Vegas, and had little to no pause in your income, you’d just have to change the address of your bills or pay them online.
Joe E. How exactly did her comment make you feel?
David
This is the best blog for me, that I have ever read by you, and the most pertinent. I had already known the answers to the questions, for a long time, but seeing it in black and white made it clear, that it is time to act now. I have “outgrown” my little ranch, am no longer a world champion cowboy, who needs to live 5 miles back on a dirt road, in a town of 250 people, who I nolonger have anything in common with. Today, I made the decision to sell this place by summer (even if I have to auction it) and move to the house I bought in Florida, where it is really where I want to be, and live the lifestyle available there. I called the Century 21 Realtor today, he will be here tomorrow, and my place is for sale. I have needed to do this for a long time, (since my divorce, and kids grew up) and finally realize it is long overdue to make a change.Thankyou David, for actually giving me the reasons, and courage, to make this big move. I know it is the right thing for me to do, and I have the means, and determination to do it, so why shouldn’t I?
Joe E
The comment the woman made u feel like u did not belong and u were cheated. if you had of said that to me…i may have come back with something funny not sarcasm. at least u tried do not give up. not all women are the same i had guys joke with me constantly and i just joke right back at them. luv to u
Bob, great decision on moving to Florida. I love where I live now, but there’s something I’m always going to miss about living on the water. I sure don’t miss all those kids on scooters honking their horns nonstop, though. I’m sure your bike will be loud enough to shut most of them up though.
That’s a touching comment, Bob. I’m moving into my new place on campus this Sunday. This place is only three or four miles from my previous residence but considering my lifestyle it makes a big difference. Oh man, this year so far has been a blessing for me!
I love where I live. A year and half ago I moved into my dream home. If I want to go up to the mountains, its just one hour drive away. If I want to go the Bay area, its three and half hour away north. Plus, every month I drive to Hollywood for my job training. Its only three hour drive south. Its my peace of heaven. There are tons of walk ways and beautiful parks. Plenty of choices for entertainment. My neigbors are friendly and we look out for each other. It represent me. I feel bless
God help me. I live in a condo in a great city (Charlotte, NC), great view, lots of restaurants, shops, beautiful women, all within walking distance but I deal with the most horrible neighbors and am having a hard time making this home. I wish I had not bought into this place. An Indian lady above me who is almost 80 (I wish she’d just die soon) makes so much noise. Seriously I have no idea what she does at 3 in the morning but all I ever hear is banging and stuff creaking all through the night. She doesn’t work and so I guess never sleeps. She also cooks god awful Indian food every day with the windows open in 20 weather and it reeks. Somehow the smell is so bad it always seems to creep into my condo. I have no idea how. As I write this there is Indian food lingering in the air and it is making me nauseous. I could throw up. Then I also have other neighbors with barking dogs, crying kids, and a redneck vietnam vet who I swear is firing guns inside his place. I feel like I am living in some crazy condo community for mental patients. To make matters worse there is also a horrible roach problem. Been here 7 months and the roaches have been everywhere. Have exterminated so many times and done everything I know how and they still come back. Then a few months ago spiders started appearing. Big ones. It’s almost 1 in the morning right now… I have to be up at 6:30 am for work and I go through this every night. Can’t sleep because of the noise. Indian lady upstairs is running around and banging shit. There’s this smell of food, and I just killed 3 roaches…
@Red, Charlotte’s a great city. I was there for the Belk Bowl had a blast. You’re right about the women, too. There was a beautiful blonde next to me at the game, who I had a great conversation with, but sadly she was headed back to Raleigh that night, and I was headed back to Georgia the next morning, so it had to end there, but oh well. I enjoyed myself.
As for your sleeping situation, the easiest solution is to jam a pair of those foam ear plugs in when you want to go to sleep. They’ll block out a surprising amount of noise.
Can you burn incense or something to cover up the smell of Indian food? Is there a condo association you complain to?
Kinda agree with John…You really can’t just drop everything and live where you want. I know I can’t because of the work I do, there isn’t many places around that would pay me enough to allow me to live in NYC all by myself.
Guys on here kinda generalize the aspect of becoming rich, we’ll this is America, anyone can do it, and that’s not true! Only way to be rich is to sell something. Selling isn’t for everyone!
@intern dan
Well, it made me feel like an outcast. like i really dont belong in that working enviroment. but you know what todays a new day, and im gonna change it up a bit. I dont know how, but we will see what happens.
okay have a riddle for the person who said that i can move and get a job in nyc….can u guarantee me life everlasting…can u guarantee that when i move out there that i will be living in a mansion? have butlers maids and a home and money out of the ass…i like the struggle part of my life unless i find a rich man somewhere who is not stingy with his money and these guys find a rich woman that wont badger them…thanks but no thanks unless u can guarantee me life everlasting ur just wasting my time typing it…luv to u
Guys! It’s NOT about being rich because I’m definitely not. I’m broke and I’m happy! Things are challenging, sure… but I live for that challenge and I conquer it every single time!
If you guys are following David’s blog, then you probably read his post about being a Leader in your own Life. Read it? Okay, read it again!
If you’re not happy with your current situation, be proactive and make the changes that’ll improve it. You don’t necessarily have to move to another city or country. In fact, you can re-explore the area where you live and see things from a different perspective you haven’t seen before. Develop a curiosity for things.
It’s all mindset, learn to develop one that craves on challenge rather than the lazy one that teaches us to just sit still waiting for our world to change. Because it’s not.
If you can’t sell stuff, then give stuff away… things you haven’t used in the last month. Clean up house and cut out all the extra stuff you don’t need. Live in simplicity. The less you have, the less complicated things will be.
You don’t have to quit your job, but you can always improve your attitude towards work.
@Kevin, a lot of the time you also have to sell your soul to get rich which makes it harder for those of us with integrity and strong ethics.
A link worth checking out people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ahv_1IS7SiE
@Mark, if you want to believe that, then get happy scraping by from paycheck to paycheck, because with the attitude the attitude that your bosses all sold their souls, you’re going nowhere.
There’s plenty of ways to get rich without selling. It requires a lot of specialized knowledge, though. Be it financial planning, corporate management, starting your own business, or whatever, you have to be good at what you do. Too many people just can’t rise above their own mediocrity.
@mark,,, spoken like a true socialist.
How is other people getting rich making things harder on you?
Bob’s rich. David wygant is rich. Have they made things harder on you? How? Have they “sold their souls?”
The idea that you have to “sell your soul” to obtain financial success, and if you are successful, you don’t have “strong ethics”, is pure socialist BULLSHIT.
Getting rich is easy. You need to invest in businesses, and property that yields a positive return, and make wise financial decisions, (staying away from bad debts), to get rich. Unfortunately, I learned this too late. If I ever get out of debt, and free up the money to invest (my 401k doesn’t count, that’s for retirement) then maybe someday I will be able to move.
My point has been, it’s not as easy as this article suggests. Moving across states is very expensive.
You guys in college who haven’t yet gotten a taste of the real world yet will someday understand.
@bob,, awesome. Are you moving to the house in FL you bought this fall?
I’m glad you have the resources to make that move. I’d love to live someplace warm. Hopefully I will have the financial ability to make a move like that in the future.
Best of luck.
@interndan. ,, no Dan. That’s not how it works. I am a commercial truck driver. You don’t get jobs like that on the internet. It takes interviews, mandatory drug screenings, dot physicals, obtaining a commercial driver’s liscense in another state, road tests with another company, Lots of work. You don’t travel back and forth 2500 miles to do that while you work on the road for three overnight trips per week.
Sorry,, doesn’t work like that. How do I know that? My 15 years experience in my current field. That’s how.
Try again.
Oh God… More roaches and the lady upstairs is still making noise. I am going to have to sell and move out.
Bob
Great move!!!
You will be much happier in Florida and be able to meet women easier.
I like the new you:)
@David, which stores will your book be available in? I try to avoid shopping online, but I still want to get it. Maybe I’ll meet a girl while picking it up.
@Collin, There is a middle ground between mega rich and just scraping by and I’m pretty happy right there at the moment without the pursuit of money.
Also, I would say that in certain areas, the arts for example, financial success is directly proportional to mediocrity, there are exceptions but generally speaking.
I have no real desire to get rich as long as I’m doing things that I enjoy to the best of my ability and are congruent with my own approach to life. I don’t equate success with money anyway like a lot of people. Thanks for the advice anyway.
John, if you wanted to do it, you’d figure out a way. As an adult man you’re never truly trapped or helpless.
Dan, I never said I was “trapped” or “helpless”,, did I?
I’m saying when you have a job and responsibilities, as most ADULTS do,, then you can’t just pick up and move anyplace you want. Keeping a job, paying your bills and obligations, is part of being an adult.
If anyone could just move where they want, then everyone would live in paradise,, right?
Until I am able to afford otherwise,, I’ll be right here in Cincinnati, paying my bills,, where there are no women left.
Thanks for the nice comments. I think I am doing the right thing too. Thanks John for not hating people who have worked hard for opportunities that others may not have available. It is very hard to be a self made successful person, and there are a lot of risks involved that “normal” people are not willing to take. People need to understand the huge risks and sacrifices I took to get where I am. I hope I can sell my place quickly, and get to my little house with the pool in Florida, where I know I will be much happier, and a better person.
Of course I don’t hate on successful people. I want to BE one of them.
I have a plan,, step 1 is getting out of debt, and freeing up the money to put the plan in action.
Unfortunalely, step 1 is gonna take a while. But I make good money, and I’m working on it.
@John, what if you took the money you’re contributing to retirement and put that towards paying off your debts for now? I’m sure the interest is higher on your debt than what you’re earning in retirement, so the faster you pay off your debt, the faster you stop losing money to interest.
@collin,, I’m only contributing 4%,,, not really enough to matter.
The rest is required contributions to fund my pension.
I could sell the camaro,,, but, with depreciation, that leaves me about 5K flipped. ( plus,, I don’t wanna!)
I am considering selling the bike this spring though.
Oh, plus I get a match from the company,, plus profit sharing quarterly.
You don’t get that money if you don’t contribute. So, to not contribute anything, would be to literally throw away free money.
Ideal but is it practical? Some people have older parents that they need to be close to to take care of them. Maybe all their extended family lives there. Maybe their job has to be there. Maybe they cannot afford another place. Everything has its pros and cons. Some areas will have better things than others and worse things as well. In fact, I would say America lacks any great cities to live, since the most cosmopolitan cities are in the North, and who the hell wants to freeze their ass off for half the year?
American landscape is dreary, same old damn Mcdonalds, supermarkets, lack of history for cities, poor modern architecture, and so on. So wherever you live, its not paradise.
Beautiful scenery, is tropical scenery. Should we all move to Hawaii?