Prior to this relationship, I was living with a woman, also for a considerate time, but we were not married. She had nice qualities, and we had a decent connection initially and some

commonalities, however I don’t consider myself ultimately for her. I don’t see her ultimately for me. I picture her as a nice friend, who I don’t mind occasionally being on friendly

terms with. However she seems convinced that I want more from her due to my not candidly saying that I really have no interests in reconciling beyond friendship only. After our

breakup, I moved out as soon as I found something, and did infact contact my ex at times, and she did contact me. I wish her well as a person, but am not looking to be back with

her. I’ve told her I thought we could be friends, but I never rudely or blatantly said Hey-I-Don’t-Want-You. Sometimes I may have joked, sent her something, ordered her

something, or acted in ways which gave her the impression I wanted her to think its more.

I feel happy with my new gal. I have to admit, I have a jokester personality, so I’ve occasionally sent messages or replied with a bit of playful manner to my former girlfriend. My ex

seems to have an exaggerated impression that I am interested in her. My current girlfriend never met my ex, but is aware that there’s some contact. I see that it makes my present

gal uneasy, and I truthfully feel that it upsets things, but I also want her to trust me.

To my ex, I want to stress that I don’t mind an occasional Hi-There, How-Are-You-Doing , but not interested in more than that. I am man with a simple gift-giving nature, which

gives my ex the impression I am interested in her more than I really am. After many drinks, I sent her a message which gave her the wrong idea. So we’ve interacted more, but

ultimately I don’t want her. I occasionally like to play that way. Again, I only agree to friendship, but not sure how to say it to her, as she is convinced we are meant to be. My ex

comes on strong and has pushed the issue, and it is difficult to alert her of this. I am not one to cut off all ties, but I am really not interested in her in that particular way, although I

may joke or play along at times. Maybe this gives her the wrong idea.

I can be a man of few words, however I can appreciate good times and good conversations. I also have plenty to say, when I want to.

Although I don’t mind being friends with my ex, and I sometimes might say something playful or seemingly provocative to her, I wish she found herself a new person, and stopped

wanting me — My ex has some talents and positive qualities, however there have been many other instances, and I know we are not for each other. We had our run, and I rather her

back off without me having to spell it out for her.

I am not good with telling her to back away, though I would not mind it if she did. Even if I sometimes contact her, I want her to go on wit her life, and not expect anything fron me.

This goes as far as, if she asked if I wanted her to back away, I would tell her not to be rediculous, that I think she’s a nice person. Truthfully however, I hope she meets a new

person and contacts me less. Even if I occasionally contact her, I am just that type of guy, who likes to maintain friendly terms.

I also feel my current gal is great, and I plan to be more honest and attentive to her. She deserves it. And it will make our relationship healthier. Our main source of friction resulted

because of her concern about my ex-contact. And my current gal deserves more of my undivided attention.

I enjoy doing things that my ex was less fond of, if you will. I can sometimes act immature, or do something too laid back which makes me appear irresponsible, however I am a

hard worker, and that is my way to relax, without someone handing me a time schedule, especially on days off. I enjoy unwinding, with some good wine more frequently than my ex

agreed to. I enjoy not having limits, and she is more into that, although it has frequently been apparent to me that my ex preferred me to be different. My present partner is more

flexible, and an overall good, beautiful person, with many amazing qualities I am fond of. My friction with my current gal resulted because my ex would contact me, however I know

my present partner ultimately has nothing to worry about. Everyone has rough patches, but with my current gal, I care to clear things up. I like to maintain friendly terms with my

ex’s. I am hopeful my present girlfriend worries less, and similarly I am hopeful my ex finds herself a man more suitable.

I am not perfect, but I am intelligent, stay busy, and I make a decent living, and enjoy relaxation. Thought I’d vent here. I hope my ex meets a new person soon. Although I may have

acted callously to my ex, I am being cordial and polite to her these days. I obviously no longer live with her, so its easier to get along, if you will.

Still however, I’d be happy for her if she found someone new, even if she considers something special between us. There may have been something somewhat special, but I’m

feeling a stronger and better connection with my present girlfriend. There is nothing special between my ex and myself, other than that she is a nice lady who I have nice regards

for, and nothing more. I don’t want to say anything more to hurt my ex’s feelings — I am sure I have said some things that did not sound pleasant to her, so now, I prefer not to say

anything additionally disrespectful b/c I’d like to maintain friendly contact.

When you don’t live with someone (my ex in this case), you sometimes forget the problems you had, or they seem to fall on the back burner. I want my current gal to worry less,

and I am happier with my current gal, and look forward to a future with her.
I wish my ex the very best, with a new person. Hopefully she finds him soon. I like friendly contact, but I don’t want her to insist on having me back.

My present gal is definitely someone I want to maintain a good relationship with. We had our share of arguments, but she seems more willing to be mindful of what to work on. I

want to keep her, and have things go well.

Prior to this relationship, I was living with a woman, also for a considerate time, but we were not married. She had nice qualities, and we had a decent connection initially and some commonalities, however I don’t consider myself ultimately for her. I don’t see her ultimately for me. I picture her as a nice friend, who I don’t mind occasionally being on friendly terms with. However she seems convinced that I want more from her due to my not candidly saying that I really have no interests in reconciling beyond friendship only. After our breakup, I moved out as soon as I found something, and did infact contact my ex at times, and she did contact me. I wish her well as a person, but am not looking to be back with her. I’ve told her I thought we could be friends, but I never rudely or blatantly said Hey-I-Don’t-Want-You. Sometimes I may have joked, sent her something, ordered her something, or acted in ways which gave her the impression I wanted her to think its more.

I feel happy with my new gal. I have to admit, I have a jokester personality, so I’ve occasionally sent messages or replied with a bit of playful manner to my former girlfriend. My ex seems to have an exaggerated impression that I am interested in her. My current girlfriend never met my ex, but is aware that there’s some contact. I see that it makes my present gal uneasy, and I truthfully feel that it upsets things, but I also want her to trust me.

To my ex, I want to stress that I don’t mind an occasional Hi-There, How-Are-You-Doing , but not interested in more than that. I am man with a simple gift-giving nature, which gives my ex the impression I am interested in her more than I really am. After many drinks, I sent her a message which gave her the wrong idea. So we’ve interacted more, but

ultimately I don’t want her. I occasionally like to play that way. Again, I only agree to friendship, but not sure how to say it to her, as she is convinced we are meant to be. My ex comes on strong and has pushed the issue, and it is difficult to alert her of this. I am not one to cut off all ties, but I am really not interested in her in that particular way, although I may joke or play along at times. Maybe this gives her the wrong idea.

I can be a man of few words, however I can appreciate good times and good conversations. I also have plenty to say, when I want to.

Although I don’t mind being friends with my ex, and I sometimes might say something playful or seemingly provocative to her, I wish she found herself a new person, and stopped wanting me — My ex has some talents and positive qualities, however there have been many other instances, and I know we are not for each other. We had our run, and I rather her back off without me having to spell it out for her.

I am not good with telling her to back away, though I would not mind it if she did. Even if I sometimes contact her, I want her to go on wit her life, and not expect anything fron me.

This goes as far as, if she asked if I wanted her to back away, I would tell her not to be rediculous, that I think she’s a nice person. Truthfully however, I hope she meets a new person and contacts me less. Even if I occasionally contact her, I am just that type of guy, who likes to maintain friendly terms.

I also feel my current gal is great, and I plan to be more honest and attentive to her. She deserves it. And it will make our relationship healthier. Our main source of friction resulted because of her concern about my ex-contact. And my current gal deserves more of my undivided attention.

I enjoy doing things that my ex was less fond of, if you will. I can sometimes act immature, or do something too laid back which makes me appear irresponsible, however I am a hard worker, and that is my way to relax, without someone handing me a time schedule, especially on days off. I enjoy unwinding, with some good wine more frequently than my ex agreed to. I enjoy not having limits, and she is more into that, although it has frequently been apparent to me that my ex preferred me to be different. My present partner is more flexible, and an overall good, beautiful person, with many amazing qualities I am fond of. My friction with my current gal resulted because my ex would contact me, however I know my present partner ultimately has nothing to worry about. Everyone has rough patches, but with my current gal, I care to clear things up. I like to maintain friendly terms with my ex’s. I am hopeful my present girlfriend worries less, and similarly I am hopeful my ex finds herself a man more suitable.

I am not perfect, but I am intelligent, stay busy, and I make a decent living, and enjoy relaxation. Thought I’d vent here. I hope my ex meets a new person soon. Although I may have acted callously to my ex, I am being cordial and polite to her these days. I obviously no longer live with her, so its easier to get along, if you will.

Still however, I’d be happy for her if she found someone new, even if she considers something special between us. There may have been something somewhat special, but I’m feeling a stronger and better connection with my present girlfriend. There is nothing special between my ex and myself, other than that she is a nice lady who I have nice regards for, and nothing more. I don’t want to say anything more to hurt my ex’s feelings — I am sure I have said some things that did not sound pleasant to her, so now, I prefer not to say anything additionally disrespectful b/c I’d like to maintain friendly contact.

When you don’t live with someone (my ex in this case), you sometimes forget the problems you had, or they seem to fall on the back burner. I want my current gal to worry less, and I am happier with my current gal, and look forward to a future with her.

I wish my ex the very best, with a new person. Hopefully she finds him soon. I like friendly contact, but I don’t want her to insist on having me back.

My present gal is definitely someone I want to maintain a good relationship with. We had our share of arguments, but she seems more willing to be mindful of what to work on. I want to keep her, and have things go well.

I plan to move to Colorado (where she is from) in 18 months, to train to teach and to live there. It has been my plan for many years, longer than we were together. And I feel confident that there is hope for us when that happens. I have not invaded her space at all since we broke up. In fact, she has probably made the most mistakes and just this morning I received a message from her on FaceBook, saying that she hopes I am happy and that I am in her thoughts and prayers.

She has also emailed me saying that she respects/appreciates me with all of her being. I feel like she is still in love with me, but that she just needed “physical company”. That is why I am hopeful for the future. That and the fact that I know that we will be together forever. This is something that I will never stop believing.

I did find the article interesting though, and I will bear in mind all of the points mentioned.

My problem is not that he did this, but when I feel disappointed everything I’ve felt disappointed about in the relationship comes up, even the things he has learned from at ones and I want to stop all that stuff from coming up– because I’ve chosen to stay in spite of that, but thinking about it isn’t useful. I hope that makes more sense.

He has some things to learn, and everyone does, he at least seems willing to learn unlike a lot of guys I’ve met. Yes I’d rather he already know, just like I’d rather everyone in the world to behave properly– but I don’t think that fantasy will ever come true!!

K,

Thanks for your comments.

While it would be nice if the exes were empathetic enough to consider the new person’s feelings and how they would feel themselves (5), David summed it up best when he said it was just about being selfish. The ex DOESN’T CARE about anyone but him/herself. If the ex is the one that broke things off, they get real repentant real fast when the plans for their new life don’t work out the way they want, and their former partner has managed to move on (1) – a known quantity is better than no quantity no matter how unhappy everyone was the first time around, I guess. How desperate is that? Amazing how fast the old problems resurface when they get back together. Same leopard, the spots were just dyed a different color. (3)

If this continues and he NEVER has time for you, then its time to move on.