Comments on: 3 Ways Your Ego Will Kill Your Relationship

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 11:55:06 +0000

Thank you for this post David. I can really identify with this. I love a man who is wonderful in so many ways, but even in the tiniest conflict, his ego takes over and he retreats … mentally, physically, emotionally – he simply shuts down and can’t be reached. He stops listening to me. In one moment, he is a stranger and I am the enemy, and I have broken the rules by being in conflict with him. He doesn’t talk to me for a time, then he comes back and avoids reaching a resolution. The conflicts are put under the rug. Even when I try to work with him, he claims that I am trying to teach him something, or says “I’m not your kid!” I cannot share any resources with him that could help him see how he is destroying the great relationship that we have. His ego will not allow this! He holds all the control.. How do you guide a man with an ego issue to get help??????

By: P V Isaac

P V Isaac — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:56:35 +0000

What happens when the other person is ego-driven? The other person will always be ego driven.But when we become egoless and donot defend or attack,then the other person’s ego starts to dissolve and disappear.How does this happen? The other person’s ego needs to be fed, for it to continue and live. But when we stop feeding it, by not reacting, the other person’s ego becomes lifeless.

The question we must ask ourselves is, whether it is possible for us not to react? We must respond but not react to the ego driven person. Reaction is defense mixed with anger,fear or sadness. Response has no anger and no negativity.When we respond to their attack we are not feeding ther ego and therby forcing them to become egoless towards us.All it takes is to remember and be aware not to react but to respond.But that is the difficult bit.

I hope this makes sense.

By: Jason Tsang

Jason Tsang — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 07:48:06 +0000

A lot of guys think it is macho to use ego to get what they want. Its probably why some guys are very successful, but they end up losing a fair bit in terms of respect outside work. Ego really blinds a lot of people and we have this ME, ME, ME culture. Had they’ve slowed down and bit and went for a softer way, things might be better. If we guys can forget our needs and concentrate on what the other might want. Partners might feel much better. I’d be happy to sacrifice comfort for the greater good and longevity of a relationship.

By: Andrew Purdie

Andrew Purdie — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 00:59:44 +0000

The best way to think of your ego is to remember the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. Remember the little devil that would appear? Well, think of the little devil on the left shoulder as your ego. The angel on the right shoulder is what you need to listen to! Just do like Jay Z says and brush that dirt off your shoulder.

By: Khiem/Ken (DW Coach)

Khiem/Ken (DW Coach) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:38:07 +0000

I don’t know if it was ego that led my previous relationship to end… but in hindsight, I think I was afraid of allowing myself to totally give to her. Is it ego or is it fear? I’m not sure… but there sure were a few things that I wished I did more in my last relationship.

Mike, if you keep on meeting people who try to dominate you, you should ask yourself: what is it that you project that attract those kind of people to you? Are you “picking” a fight with them? Are you secretly wanting to dominate others yourself?

Usually, we attract what we are….

By: Sandra

Sandra — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:40:48 +0000

With self ego brings pride…I have heard it said time and time again if it were not for my foolish pride…What pride. Pride cometh before a fall. We were taught to defend ourselves no matter what…But when you are in love with someone why do you want to ruin something they are not out to get you. They just want you to understand. Let the foolish pride go and the tell that ego to take a flying hike.

By: Kody

Kody — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 06:00:40 +0000

this is the only reason im still a virgin… i know, i know. hopefully i can conquer this poison of self indulgence and improve my life

By: Marina

Marina — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 22:10:41 +0000

Peter and Mike

It’s an interesting question but are you talking about a personal or a work related relationship. With a work relationship where you are dependent on income it gets a bit hard as you really did not “choose” the relationship, but maybe it got something to do with the line of work the both of you have and the types it attract.

Personally I think it’s more about that you are allowing it to happen whether you know it or not, in particular when it comes to personal relationships. We can’t be affected by other unless we let them do it. It seems to have a bit to do with self worth/self confidence as when you are at the top of your game these people have no chance and they know they can’t get away with it.

But back to David it really would be interesting to hear your answer on this one.

By: Peter

Peter — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:12:47 +0000

Mike, that’s a good question – I’d be interested to hear David’s answer on that. Am struggling with such a situation myself at the moment.

By: Nick

Nick — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 13:57:02 +0000

Good post David. This is one of my weak points here. Happy belated birthday by the way.