Comments on: 5 Excuses That Interfere With Your Dating Life

By: Sandra

Sandra — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:37:35 +0000

I meet people at my job and I have a few guy friends that I talk to and some here in town. But the rest of the time I like to be alone with my thoughts and get ready to face another day.

By: RebelliousVanilla

RebelliousVanilla — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 09:28:06 +0000

The number of excuses people make are just ridiculous. I have a friend who I’m trying to help to get open around women and I try to help him because this women thing affects the rest of his life too and it pisses me off when friends struggle. What’s amusing is that he is cute and creative, but he hits a barrier when he’s around women. I took him with me and another girl and guy and I pretended I’m into that other guy so that he can talk to the other girl. Let’s say that pretending that you’re into someone sucks, but what annoyed me is that he wasn’t doing anything. This girl was talking about how she’s in the police academy and the classes and drills that they have so I leaned in and told my friend to tell her something like if she’ll behave, he’ll let her practice cuffing him later on and then tease her about how she’s not behaving. What’s painful is that the girl was liking him, but he blew it. Anyway, he just got up and bought her a drink. That made me want to bang my head against the table while pretending to like the other guy. My friend pulled one of those wait until something excuse. Another thing with my friend, he works at a casino and was talking to this waitress there in the elevator and she told him how much he makes and I was like… I hoped you told her that it’s good that she makes that much because now she affords taking him out to have dinner. He didn’t. I don’t even know what’s so hard for guys to tease women. And what pisses me off the most is the just be yourself crowd that say that doing this is manipulative. It’s not manipulative, you’re just giving women what they want – to have fun. Buying me drinks is manipulative because I doubt you’re so giving to your friends too – you’re just trying to show me that you’re nice and whatnot. And I don’t see anything wrong with learning skills. You’ll be a better self, not someone else.

I realized that if I was a guy, I’d be shagging so many women if I wanted to that it’s not even funny. lol

By: Khiem/Ken (DW Coach)

Khiem/Ken (DW Coach) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 02:09:12 +0000

I probably have gone through all these excuses myself.

I think the most important part of overcoming them is really… to realize that they are your own personal doubts… but personal doubts don’t have to stay true if you do something about it.

By: Marina

Marina — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 21:12:28 +0000

Thanks Barbara,

i am in no way pessimistic but I dó have a great dad. Maybe too Old for you Living in spain great Warm guy and very active. Hoping for his side of the gene pool as hé looks younger than most 55 years Old… Any chance we could swap one if your cougar Lovers for mé and you get ny dad. Just joking about the cougar part enough babysitting for mé.

Great responded ón this one David and coaches.

By: Nate Rivers

Nate Rivers — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 19:20:31 +0000

Yes… the “I can’t meet someone until…” excuse held me back for years. I used to think that no attractive women would take me seriously until I drove a new, cool, and expensive car, or until I owned my own place. Those limiting beliefs are complete BS, and the sooner you recognize them and get rid of them, the sooner you’ll have success.

By: PeteC

PeteC — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 18:21:11 +0000

After ploughing along for years, working at this, im happy to say my only excuse now is about approaching random people in shops, the street etc!

By: Julie Spira

Julie Spira — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 16:20:57 +0000

Thanks David for pointing out these tips. I live in Los Angeles, and I am tired of hearing people say you can’t meet someone in LA and suggest that singles move. I have dated online and offline, and yes it is easier to meet someone when you are on vacation and the playing field evens out. But online dating is NOT for only losers. There are plenty of happy couples on my site CyberDatingExpert.com who met their spouses online. You have to have a sense of humor about it and laugh off the ones that don’t work out.
Julie Spira
Author, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online

By: Barbara

Barbara — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 14:19:05 +0000

I always said I would never do online dating but I have to say I have met some people that I would never have met had I not gone online. That’s something to think about. Marina you think that the numbers don’t work your way at 41 try being 61! I am attractive, slim, successful, fit, own my own home and am financially able to take care of my self. But most of the men my age don’t want women my age because they can have 30 year olds and the others I wouldn’t have because they are either couch potatoes, smokers or they are just looking for someone to take care of them. I am inundated with young guys that are looking for their own “cougar” which does not appeal to me.

By: Mee

Mee — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 07:49:20 +0000

Amazing post, David! You really addressed some mine boogeymen that I didn’t even notice myself! I’m gonna have to print this out! =)

By: Kirsten

Kirsten — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 04:08:32 +0000

I totally agree with reasons actually being excuses. I’m trying to overcome these excuses (and some of the ones Cam mentioned as well) and what it really comes down to is dating is hard and I didn’t want to work that hard.

I’m learning to work it into my daily life and find ways to improve myself with every step. This is a great list to remind people that if you really are ready to date, there are no reasons not to.

Thanks for great the post.

Kirsten