What You Should Know About Sexual Double Standards
July 1, 2007 
14 Comments
Have you ever just had sex with a man and thought, “Now that I’ve had sex with this random guy (since it’s been six months since my last sexual encounter!), is he going to think I’m a slut?”
The answer? Not if you phrase it correctly.
I’m the first to admit that there’s a double standard out there. I personally commend women who are sexually free and open. I don’t judge women who are sexually free and open. I also don’t really care about with how many men a woman has slept.
There are men, however, who judge women for being sexually free. So, how does a woman know if she’s slept with someone like me, or with a judgmental non-evolved man?
When you have sex with a man for the very first time on, let’s say, the very first date, men are so ego-driven that they want to believe that there was something special about them that made you lose all control and decide to jump into bed with them quickly. They want to believe that they have some magical sexual power over you.
They want to believe this regardless of whether you slept with four other guys before them that week. They don’t know!
So what do you tell a man you’ve just slept with so that he won’t judge you? It’s really simple!
Just tell him, “I can’t believe I did this, but I haven’t had sex in so long that I couldn’t resist it.” A man’s ego so wants to believe that.
I’m all about telling the truth, but some men can’t handle the truth. It’s like when Jack Nicholson told Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, “You can’t handle the truth!” Unfortunately, ladies, some men just can’t handle the truth.
If he’s a one-night stand or he turns into a booty call, massage his ego and you will massage all the right parts. He will think he’s some incredible lover.
I’m all about women using men for sexual pleasure. Men have been using women like this for years.
Welcome to the new sexual revolution: women rule!
One word of advice to the men: When a woman decides to have sex with you on the first date, stop judging and worrying about what she’s done in the past. Just embrace the gift of another person.
It’s time to learn how men really think so that you can stop wasting your time with men who are just not what you want. Get a complete behind-the-scenes tour of a man’s mind by investing in my Women’s Mastery Series program.
I love to read this blog! I think I am becoming addicted to it!
This blog is most interesting. I just had “relations” of a different kind with a man who was very special in many ways to me because he wasn’t judgemental so it seemed. After the fact, there is no communication to even tell me where the problem arose to keep him from talking to me, emailing, smoke signal…something. Guys, don’t be cowards like this. Even if you are a judemental alpha male, don’t make a woman feel as if she is crap for being with you sexually, whether it is physically,chatting dirty, emailing, over the phone… What kind of points does that score you? Can’t the both be equal in the sexual stature of the matter? Ladies, that is a two way street also. Don’t get with a man, then treat him like dirt after you have “used” him. Be honest and up front about whatever is going on. This saves the person from being stripped of the confidence they may take awhile to build back up. I guess that is why we have confidence building coaches? Good luck to all. DD
DD,
I know exactly what you mean. It happened with me too very recently!
O, well…. his loss! The life goes on… with him or without him. I read somewhere, if they don’t respond back to your calls/emails within 48-72 hours, you move on…
Uh oh! I am on to the next blog here:) No I am not drinking–just naturally positive:) Ummmm I really like this blog, but i worry about you DD. I am sorry. I am a kind hearted person who NEVER says things to provoke people to a state of being uncomfy or mad. With that said, how long did you give for response time—and be honest. I read a lot of insecure feeling in your comment sweety. If a man doesn’t respond when you think they should, or how you think they should, don’t get all upset and bent out of shape. Compose your thoughts, realize how your mind is running wild and pull back on the reigns. Sometimes it takes awhile for an answer. Something could have happened, his phone might have been off—endless possibilities here. You need not feel insecure about yourself and thats kind of what I see here. Go on with your day as planned and give him time. NOW, if like Jessica says, 48-72 hours have gone by—hopefully he isn’t hurt physically, but don’t try to smother him. He will run like a cat on a hot tin roof. Good luck sweetie and I hope this did not offend you. I really do mean to help and give you insight. Stay composed for happiness.
Hey Joan. I am not your sweety, and you can stuff your half witted advice. You need to wake up to the tactics of men and how they work. I am a very attractive woman, so insecure I am not. Can you say the same? Probably not! You seem the librarian type to me….sweety! DD
Whoa DD. I never meant to question your apparent beauty. As for being half witted, I am educated and successful in what I do. I think you need to chill out and wake up to the fact that you have some issues to deal with. It seems like a lot of fear, maybe someone has hurt you…I don’t know your story. If I came off as judgemental, I apologize because that is not me at all. Not all men use tactics on women. Yes, the majority do, but you cannot go around with the attitude you are to good for anyone, or that their is a tactical plot against you. As for my looks—yes I can say I am a sexy, voluptious, secure happy woman. I just don’t feel I have to announce it. Sometimes things speak for themselves. I have no problem drawing mens attention and no—I am not a librarian. I will never try to help like this again thats for sure. Again I apologize for the offense you have obviously taken. Good luck to you.
I agree with David, mature men don’t judge women for being sexually “free”. Its non-evolved immature boys who judge a women for having sex with him “too early”. I find, however that men like this are usually single for a long long time and I don’t mean that in a good way. They don’t have a girlfriend, a steady, an occasional, nothing. Because they are so busy judging other people that they miss out on some potentially good women. It may be cool to his married friends, and exciting to his single friends in committed relationships but at the end of the day he is lonely. He “chases” women only for the sport of it but once he so called catches them, whether it be sexually or just dating he loses interest. Its like the boy who is always searching for the better toy. He is never satisfied because there may be something that he’s missing. He doesn’t understand the 80/20 rule and never will. When he ages a bit, he is the 50 year old cruising the bars for young women. The 50 year old Fonzie. No one wants him.
Thank you and Amen to that. I am a very sexually impowered woman and if I feel like having sex on the first date I do it. I know men have judged me but I just figure they are not the right ones for me and move on!
..I love lovemakings with some1 who we truly in love together and im one man woman typed which men wud judged on my case for not sharing othrs my experienced in bed than I only can do with one to love for.??
David, what an intriguing and insightful article! I must admit, I was one of those women during my 20s where I put so much stock.. TOO much stock into the whole sex thing and making it mean everything. Now I’ve wisened up and feel more mature and liberated, like you touched upon here.. but I do take things slower, I suppose now. Thanks for delving into the subject and kudos for taking a new angle for relationship advice.
Great blog – I often wondered and now I know. I must say that I feel a bit better about it. Great answer must remember that the next time
Never knew that men did not jude you on having sex on the first date. Question here?? I feel as though they do judge you when you never hear from them again. The first date that I had after my friend died was terrible!! I fellt a real connection, and so I went to bed with him. After it was over, he kindly told me that I was the third woman in a week? I was devitated!
I agree. Men just can handle the truth.
Yes, women should be free and liberated sexually. Just as Jade Goody was. Indeed realities such as cervical cancer risks, std’s as well as the idea that hundreds if not thousands of men sleep with this “liberated” sexual woman. i m sure that most ‘mature’ men would love a chance to jump into be with such a ‘liberated’ female. As Ally put it. “Men just can’t handle the truth”. No they cannot, especially when it exposes the lies of female sexuality, lewdness and the overall filth that women expose themselves too. I find it hard to handle too that Any woman would want to live such a lifestyle. So yes, you are correct. However there is one truth i can handle. That is the fact that the women on this board are man hating scum. Who live a fantasy life based around tv constructs, suedo scientific lies and perversion. Thus what kind of proper man wants that? Yuck! Human trash I say.
Cheers!